Update

Thank you for all the prayers offered up for my mom! She ended up needing a stent to correct a 75% blockage in her heart. She has been healing up wonderfully! (I think having some extra cuddle time with Baby Joe has helped in her recovery!) Hopefully this will be a start in getting her back into shape so we can have many many more years together!

Oh my goodness, people, I have SO much to write about! I have a gajillion ideas bumbling around in my head. But I haven't been home in basically 2 weeks (I've been at my mom's house and my in-laws') so hopefully I'll be able to write soon!

I hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and a very blessed first Sunday of Advent!

Prayers, please!

I'm asking for some prayers for my mother. Tomorrow morning she is going in to have a heart catheterization. A couple weeks ago she had a stress test done and an abnormality was found. They are doing a catheterization to see what the abnormality is. If there is any blockage they will put in a stent.

This is an in-and-out procedure and is fairly routine. Mom's doctor assured her that one of the best doctors in the facility will be performing the catheterization.

Please, if you have a moment or two, offer up a prayer. Many thanks!

Wondering Wednesdays Vol. 17 (a day late!): Siblings

I've been thinking about a lot this Veteran's Day. I have a lot of family and friends who have proudly served this great country. My big brother is one of those who has worn the Marine uniform and defended our country in Saudi Arabia during Desert Storm. I was six years old when he went overseas and I remember being scared to death. I remember Mom watching CNN every night to get news about what was going on over there. I also remember how happy I was when he finally came back home. The picture above was taken during his homecoming. I look pretty darn happy, don't I?

Looking at that picture I think about my relationship with my brother. He is 13 years older than me. We've had quite a unique evolution of our sibling relationship. We are both children of a single mother, so he helped quite a bit in taking care of me. He was the father figure in my life since my own father was absent in my childhood.



I practically idolized my brother while growing up. I recently read in my diaries that I kept in grade school how excited I was when he would come visit. He would take me to really neat places like Worlds of Fun, Royals games, Renaissance festivals and even Chuck E. Cheese! He would buy me movies and help me beat the hard levels in Super Nintendo games.

In high school our relationship changed to a typical brother/sister bond- lots of teasing and fighting. He would make me mad by siding with mom when she and I would have arguments. He'd anger me by making fun of my boyfriends (which actually he was right in doing so.) But for the most part we got along.

Now that we are adults, I would like to think of us as good, close friends. We still drive each other crazy, but that will always be the nature of a brother/sister relationship! My love for my only real sibling is very great. One of the greatest parts of my wedding was my brother walking me down the aisle. The picture above is one of my favorites from that day.

Thinking on my relationship with my brother makes me wonder what life would have been like if I would have grown up with a lot of siblings. I sometimes felt like an only child since my brother was so much older and left the home when I was very young. This isn't a way to poo-poo my relationship with my brother, because I am very grateful for it. I'm also not trying to guilt my mother for not having more children. Lord knows she would have probably went off the deep end if she had to raise duplicates of my brother and I.

I wonder if my siblings and I would have been close. Maybe we would have such radically different interests that we wouldn't be close at all.

If I had grown up with sisters would I be more into fashion and being a girly-girl? (Because I definitely am not one!) Would we have shared a room and stayed up late talking about boys, friends and childhood memories? Would we have fought for time in the bathroom? Would we borrow each other's clothes and makeup? Do each other's hair? Would we be best friends and bridesmaids and/or maids of honor at each other's weddings? Would we go shopping? Would we put each other's boyfriends through a rigorous acceptance test because we don't want her to date a complete loser? Would we have wanted to tear each other's hair out?

If I had grown up with a lot of brothers would I be more athletically inclined? Would I have grown up to be a huge tom-boy or still grow up to be a girly girl and roll my eyes at their testosterone-heavy antics? Would I have not dated some of the losers I have dated in the past because my brothers would have been around to kick their butt if they broke my heart?

If I had more siblings would I be a little less selfish than I am today? Would I be a little less anal about doing everything my self and allowing others to help out? Would I still be as competitive as I am now?

If I was the oldest sibling would I have been jealous at the arrival of a new brother or sister? Would I feel pressure to be a good role model to my younger siblings? Would I feel like a guinea pig to my mom and dad's parenting techniques? Would I be good at looking after my siblings and teaching them new things? Would I be sad to leave my brothers and sisters behind while I went off to college? Or would I be happy to go to get away from the chaos?

If I was the middle sibling would I feel invisible? Would it be a relief that not all the pressure of being a positive role model was on me? Would I have to fight for attention? Would I be annoyed at the hand me downs? Would I feel less stressed that I would have an older sibling to go through stuff first (going to high school, driving test, first date, going to college) and give me advice on how to handle it?

If I was the youngest sibling would I feel pressure to live up to my older brothers and sisters? Would I be even more annoyed than my middle siblings at hand me downs because they are in even crappier shape than when they got them? Would I be sad that I didn't have any younger siblings to impart my wisdom? Would I feel sad when all my older siblings left the home for college because it would feel strange being the only one in the house? Or would I think it's awesome that I finally have all my parents' attention and the whole house to myself?

These are just some things that I am wondering about. As I look at my son I wonder if God will bless us with many brothers and sisters for him. We believe the greatest gift we can give him is a sibling, whenever that will be, we don't know. However, I do cherish these moments of just Mommy, Daddy and Joe.

Would I have a different attitude and outlook on life if I would have had more siblings? Perhaps, but I thank God he has given me my older brother and I think things worked out perfectly the way they have!

Header Design

I've had a couple people ask me how I did my blog header. The lovely Colleen at Martin Family Moments pointed me to another blog's post on how to do it! It's really easy and free!

Here is the link at the blog Clover Lane!

7 Quick Takes Friday Vol. 18

1. While buying Halloween candy at Wal-Mart the other day I wondered aloud to my husband if they already had Christmas stuff out. He told me they did. As I began to make a bee-line towards that section my husband stopped me. "Let's wait until after Halloween before we look at Christmas stuff." Yes, I'm one of those people who love Christmas so much that I don't mind all the merriment and cheer starting the day after Halloween!

2. Speaking of the holiday season, one of my favorite traditions is bringing out my Winter Candy Apple lotion from Bath and Body Works. I usually don't whip it out until December but I thought, "What the heck" and started putting it on this week. Maybe that's why I'm in such a Christmas-y mood!

3. My dog, Chandler, has such bad allergies that his skin is starting to get infected. We've taken him to the vet and got some antibiotics. Ryan always gives him his pill in a peanut butter sandwich. Today was the first time that I have given him his pill. I gave him his sandwich then went to switch over the laundry. As I was walking toward the living room I saw Chandler standing on the couch in a strange manner. He was burying his sandwich in the blankets on the couch! Needless to say, I'm glad I caught him doing it because I have more important things to do rather than clean peanut butter of my rear end!

4. I got my chair chopped off a couple weeks ago. It's amazing what a new hairstyle can do as a pick-me-up! Plus, I'm back to my natural hair color! It's been 13 years since I first used Sun-In to color my hair!

5. Big game for Mizzou tomorrow against Nebraska! I'm more nervous for this game than I was last week against #1 Oklahoma!

6. My mom got a new laptop with a webcam so she and I have been using Skype. Mom loves it so she can see Joe. I love it so I don't get a crook in my neck holding the phone to my shoulder with my chin while I'm holding Joe! Well, that, and a chance to see my beautiful mother!

7. My adventures as a first time mother are going great! I have a post in the works about breastfeeding. I'm hoping this won't turn into a blog JUST about Joe and his bowel movements and such. But this blog is about my life and Joe is a humungo ginormous part of my life, so I am going to subject you to posts from time to time about his first smiles, my difficulties using a baby sling and how I think it's hilarious how he farts in his sleep.

Here is a video of my sweet precious Joe. I know he's too young to laugh, but I swear he's chuckling at me! Just ignore the silly sounds I'm making.

Adventures in Breastfeeding

Look at my little milk monster!

*I've been working on this post for quite some time. In re-reading it I'm hoping that it doesn't come across that I'm bragging about breastfeeding or looking down on those mothers who formula feed, because that is certainly not my intention in writing this post. I would never ever judge a woman on how she nourishes her child. I also understand that some women desperately want to breastfeed, but can't. The purpose of this post is basically to chronicle my first time breastfeeding and to possibly help other women in their challenges and uncertainties.*

The number one thing I prayed for during my pregnancy was a healthy baby. Praised be to Jesus that prayer was answered! The second thing I prayed for was a healthy and happy vaginal delivery and success in breastfeeding.

Well, you win some and you lose some, right?

Oh, by the way, if you're squeamish of terms like nipples, leakage and boobies/breasts then I suggest you cease reading!

Second Thoughts

I had decided that I was definitely going to breastfeed long before I ever got pregnant. It wasn't a hard decision for me to make. However, I had read in multiple pregnancy magazines and books that breastfeeding can be difficult. My doctor even stressed that it would be difficult and not to give up easily.

I believed that all these people were telling me the truth, but part of me was kind of skeptical. I mean, how hard could breastfeeding be? Breastfeeding is completely natural. Women have been breastfeeding since the beginning of mankind. Eve didn't have Enfamil formula to rely on if her children didn't get a proper latch on to her breast.

All those nonchalant feelings quickly disappeared as soon as we had our second childbirth class that covered breastfeeding. I was completely overwhelmed by the whole process: Make sure the baby's mouth gets most of the nipple. Line the baby's nose with the nipple. Don't touch the areola with your hand. Put your hand in the c-position or u-position. Nurse on both sides and the next time you nurse start with the breast you finished with. Make sure the baby is latched on or you'll get sore nipples. If you get engorged use cabbage leaves. Do such and such for clogged milk ducts. Use the football hold for situation A, the cradle hold for situation B. Here are tips for dealing with inverted nipples, small nipples and big nipples. Don't go more than 4 hours between feedings. Feed on demand. Feed every 2 hours. Don't introduce a pacifier until about one month.... ARRGGHH!

We were even given a list of a kind of "step-by-step" process of breastfeeding. I walked away from the class completely overwhelmed. There were just so many little details to remember. No wonder some women don't even try to breastfeed- it seemed so confusing! Would I be able to handle this as a first-time mother? Suddenly fears of somehow screwing up breastfeeding and starving my baby crept into my head.

So how did I deal with this onslaught of information? I researched the crap out of breastfeeding! I realized that I couldn't learn in very good detail all the in's and out's of breastfeeding in a 2 hour class. I bought The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by the Le Leche League International. (I highly recommend this book!) I read magazine and Internet articles about breastfeeding. I asked my some of my family and friends about their experiences with breastfeeding. Out of all the oodles of information I was getting there was one common theme- breast is best, it can be difficult to breastfeed, and don't give up too easily.

During the last weeks of pregnancy when my boobs were growing to Dolly Parton-esque size I was dreaming of the day that my son would latch on and we could begin that amazing breastfeeing relationship. I was so nervous that it wouldn't work out...

Success!

That day finally came on September 2nd. As I was recovering from my c-section they brought my son to me. I held him in my arms and was in amazement at how beautiful and precious he was. The nurse was there to help me breastfeed right away. I was nervous because I had read that one way to encourage breastfeeding was to have the baby placed on the mother's stomach right after being delivered vaginally and to attempt to feed almost right away, and since I had a c-section I thought that not having those precious moments of bonding would create an obstacle in breastfeeding success. Thankfully my nurse was awesome in helping me get started.

My little man was snoozing away peacefully and at first didn't want to latch on. So we stripped him down to his diaper and put him next to me. He was so warm and perfect. He started rooting around for my breast and as I tried to latch him on he kept putting his hands up to his face so I couldn't tell if he was getting a good latch-on. Thankfully the nurse and Ryan were there to help me. Joe kept putting his hands up and blocking my view the next few times, but he quickly got out of that habit. Also, for some reason he didn't like to take my left breast for the first couple of days, but he got out of that habit as well!

Nursing him for the first time was amazing. It was an experience I will never forget. His warm little body was nestled against me and he seemed to be doing really good. Even the nurses were impressed with how fast he was getting the hang of it, especially since he was still doped up from the magnesium they pumped in me and since he was a c-section baby. As he was suckling at my breast it felt like we had been doing this forever, even though we had just met.

Some of that stuff I had read and researched kind of went out the window for me during those first few days. I thanked God everyday that breastfeeding was coming very naturally for Joe and me. I'm not saying that doing all the research was a waste of time because I think the number one thing it taught me was CONFIDENCE. The first couple of times putting Joe to breast was awkward, but I just took a deep breath, took my time and kept saying to Joe, "We can do this, we're going to do really good." And we did. All that step by step instructions were good to follow, but thinking about them too much just made me nervous. I let Joe take over and did what was comfortable for both of us and once he was latched on the awkwardness went away.

One of the most wonderful feelings of breastfeeding is the sense of awesome relaxation while nourishing your child. I could just feel the feel-good hormones wash over my body like a refreshing shower and I would even sigh these deep sighs of intimate relaxation.

Challenges

I did/do have some challenges when it comes to breastfeeding. The first week my nipples did get super sore and crack. But I rubbed LOTS of Medela's Tender Care lanolin cream on them after every single feeding and they cleared up fairly quickly (about a week.) I was worried that he wasn't latching on correctly even though I had the nurses check nearly every time he fed and they said he was doing great. I learned later that even if baby is latched on properly sore and cracked nipples are bound to happen.

One problem I have is actually somewhat of "good" problem. I am a MAJOR milk producer. My milk came in after 2 days and the nurses were astonished at how much I could pump out. A few days after I was discharged from the hospital I had a breastfeeding consultation and she confirmed with a bug-eyed look that I indeed made a lot of milk. And it's pretty obvious- Joe gets full after about 10 minutes of feeding on just one breast.

All this milk plus some reflux is making him spit up- A LOT. Most of the time it's just a small amount, but other times he's like Old Faithful. It makes for many loads of laundry!

Since I make so much milk I get on the verge of engorgement pretty quickly. I have to pump every once in awhile to relieve some of the hardness. I haven't had full-on engorgement because Joe is an eager feeder- he feeds about every 2-2 1/2 hours every day and every night.

Breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding things in motherhood for me. However, sometimes in the middle of the night when I'm up for the umpteenth time to feed Joe, formula feeding seems awfully tempting. Since Joe feeds so often at night I suffer from bone-crushing exhaustion. Sometimes it feels IMPOSSIBLE to get out of bed to breastfeed. As I sit there in a half-unconscious state I think, "Man, if I formula fed Ryan could get up and feed him and I could be warm and snug in our bed in a deep peaceful slumber." I sit there and jealously look over at my husband all curled up like a toasty burrito in our blankets. I haven't had a full night's sleep since August 31st. But then I look down at our son and his big blue eyes look sleepily up to me and I think, "These moments won't last forever. I can sleep later." Love means giving your whole self and I am more than happy to do that for my son.

Since I make so much milk he spits up a lot- and sometimes that involves projectile vomiting. He's never cried while projectiling, but the look of surprise on his face and the fact that I think that since his whole meal is now on my shirt (and the floor, and the walls...) he's not getting enough nourishment I break down in tears. I keep thinking I should change my diet or go to formula so he doesn't get an onslaught of my milk. Joe is a "happy spitter" and I know that lots of babies spit up but it still kills me to think that sometime I am doing could possibly bring him pain and discomfort. Thankfully judging by his adorable fat rolls and the fact that he's nearly 15 lbs, I know he is thriving!

Ecological Breastfeeding

I've read about ecological breastfeeding (EBF) in my natural family planning material and from other bloggers. Basically EBF entails nursing on cue, keeping baby close, providing all nourishment and liquids at the breast for the first five to eight months, and nursing to comfort the baby. There are some strict standards in some EBF philosophies such as not using a pacifier, taking naps with baby and co-sleeping.

I semi-EBF. I do use a paci every once in awhile (Joe usually won't take it) and I don't co-sleep (I haven't felt comfortable doing that yet.) But I do breastfeed on demand and for comfort even if he just fed 30 minutes prior. I do keep him close by me at all times and I plan on breastfeeding for at least a year.

I was hesitant to use EBF since Joe spits up all the time. If I keep pumping his tiny tummy with milk no wonder he's a spitter. But his doctor has assured me that it's a laundry problem, not a health problem. I'll feed to comfort, sooth and nourish if it makes him happy, even if it means I have to wash my hair and clothes of spit up every day!

Breastfeeding in Public

One thing I was always somewhat dreading was the possibility of breastfeeding in public. I figured it would be awkward trying to get Joe to breast under a nursing cover since I'm still a newbie. I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable lifting up my shirt like some women do. I mean, what if my boob popped out for the whole world to see?!

Well, I'm still not a pro at getting Joe ready to breastfeed, but my fears of breastfeeding went out the window when Joe decided to get hungry while I was at a shopping mall with my mom. We asked one of the store clerks if there was a bathroom that would be good for breastfeeding and she said no. I was debating on making the long treck to the van when his fussiness got louder and louder. I was starting to panic. When Baby Joe ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!

Finally, I said "The heck with it" and settled into a couch in an empty section of the food court. Thankfully my mom was there to help shield me a little bit. People walked by but didn't even glance my way. That was when I decided that I really didn't care what other people thought of me breastfeeding in public- my son's needs are MUCH more important than their judgement!

I even felt comfortable breastfeeding in front of my family one time. Thankfully I had a nursing tank on underneath so it was barely noticeable that I was breastfeeding. In fact no one noticed until my mom asked if I was feeding him!

Products I Like

When I registered for baby stuff I put practically every breastfeeding product on my list because I didn't know what I would need. I didn't get a lot of the items I picked out, which is a good thing, because I didn't really need that much! Here is a list of products I do like and no, I am not getting paid to endorse any certain product or brand!

1. Nursing tanks

Since I stay at home I usually don't wear a nursing bra. I probably should since every once in awhile I'll leak like crazy! (TMI? Probably. My bad!) I feel more comfortable bra-less, plus it's easier to get started to nurse. However, when I go out in public I will wear a bra or nursing tank (I'm not a complete barbarian!) But I almost always choose a nursing tank over a nursing bra. The reason I do is because if I have to breastfeed in public and I lift up my shirt, people won't see my jello-belly. I feel more comfortable in a tank. I know there are fancy shirts and sweaters and allow a woman to breastfeed without lifting her shirt, but frankly- I can't afford that stuff.

2. Lansinoh Soothies

Oh. my. goodness. I LOVED these!!! They are a cooling gel pad for sore nipples. The hospital provided me with them and holy moly they felt good! I had my mom buy some more when I got home. They are kind of pricey- about $10 for a pair, but they are reusable for up to 72 hours and they are flippin' amazing! (I think there are other brands that are cheaper but I don't know how good they are.) My chapped and sore nipples didn't last for long, so I didn't have to stock up, but I would have!

3. Lansinoh Lanolin and Medela Tender Care Lanolin

These are also for sore and cracked nipples. I received a small tube of the Lansinoh at the hospital and used the Tender Care at home. I really didn't notice a difference in these products. Neither of them really soothed the pain, but I used them both religiously and my cracked and sore nipples cleared up fairly fast.

4. Medela Singe Deluxe breast pump

I didn't really worry about breast pumps until I realized I had such a surplus of milk that a breast pump was a necessity. It was stressful finding the right one because I didn't want to spend oodles of money on a pump that I would only use occasionally. I did some research and decided to purchase the Medela Single Deluxe. It's pretty awesome. It can be battery operated, which is convenient. The motor is kind of loud, but it gets the job done and I haven't ever felt any discomfort using it. It was about $60.

There are my adventures in breastfeeding- so far! I encourage any woman who is thinking about breastfeeding to really research to gain confidence but ultimately follow your baby's lead and your mothering instinct. I understand breastfeeding can be very difficult, but give it a try and be patient and calm. And if breastfeeding doesn't work, never ever ever feel guilty about formula feeding. I'm not one of those breastfeeding Nazis that think formula is the Devil. The main goal is a happy healthy baby and a happy mother!

Breastfeeding Joe has made me happy, and I'm pretty sure it makes him happy too!

Are Y'all Still With Me?!

I'm still here!

I have a million and one things that I would love to blog about, mostly consisting of my handsome son, baby poop, breastfeeding adventures and motherhood.

Buuuuuuuut, things have been a little hectic around here! I'm reading your blogs and loving them, but just don't have time to comment as much as I would like.

I'm trying to re-format my blog appearance as well... and having no luck- how do some of you make such great photo headings with multiple pictures?

Anywho, I hope this blog post finds you all doing wonderfully! Someday I'll get back to the blogosphere, because I truly love to write and read what you all have to say!

Will you still be with me? :-)