Wondering Wednesdays Vol. 17 (a day late!): Siblings

I've been thinking about a lot this Veteran's Day. I have a lot of family and friends who have proudly served this great country. My big brother is one of those who has worn the Marine uniform and defended our country in Saudi Arabia during Desert Storm. I was six years old when he went overseas and I remember being scared to death. I remember Mom watching CNN every night to get news about what was going on over there. I also remember how happy I was when he finally came back home. The picture above was taken during his homecoming. I look pretty darn happy, don't I?

Looking at that picture I think about my relationship with my brother. He is 13 years older than me. We've had quite a unique evolution of our sibling relationship. We are both children of a single mother, so he helped quite a bit in taking care of me. He was the father figure in my life since my own father was absent in my childhood.



I practically idolized my brother while growing up. I recently read in my diaries that I kept in grade school how excited I was when he would come visit. He would take me to really neat places like Worlds of Fun, Royals games, Renaissance festivals and even Chuck E. Cheese! He would buy me movies and help me beat the hard levels in Super Nintendo games.

In high school our relationship changed to a typical brother/sister bond- lots of teasing and fighting. He would make me mad by siding with mom when she and I would have arguments. He'd anger me by making fun of my boyfriends (which actually he was right in doing so.) But for the most part we got along.

Now that we are adults, I would like to think of us as good, close friends. We still drive each other crazy, but that will always be the nature of a brother/sister relationship! My love for my only real sibling is very great. One of the greatest parts of my wedding was my brother walking me down the aisle. The picture above is one of my favorites from that day.

Thinking on my relationship with my brother makes me wonder what life would have been like if I would have grown up with a lot of siblings. I sometimes felt like an only child since my brother was so much older and left the home when I was very young. This isn't a way to poo-poo my relationship with my brother, because I am very grateful for it. I'm also not trying to guilt my mother for not having more children. Lord knows she would have probably went off the deep end if she had to raise duplicates of my brother and I.

I wonder if my siblings and I would have been close. Maybe we would have such radically different interests that we wouldn't be close at all.

If I had grown up with sisters would I be more into fashion and being a girly-girl? (Because I definitely am not one!) Would we have shared a room and stayed up late talking about boys, friends and childhood memories? Would we have fought for time in the bathroom? Would we borrow each other's clothes and makeup? Do each other's hair? Would we be best friends and bridesmaids and/or maids of honor at each other's weddings? Would we go shopping? Would we put each other's boyfriends through a rigorous acceptance test because we don't want her to date a complete loser? Would we have wanted to tear each other's hair out?

If I had grown up with a lot of brothers would I be more athletically inclined? Would I have grown up to be a huge tom-boy or still grow up to be a girly girl and roll my eyes at their testosterone-heavy antics? Would I have not dated some of the losers I have dated in the past because my brothers would have been around to kick their butt if they broke my heart?

If I had more siblings would I be a little less selfish than I am today? Would I be a little less anal about doing everything my self and allowing others to help out? Would I still be as competitive as I am now?

If I was the oldest sibling would I have been jealous at the arrival of a new brother or sister? Would I feel pressure to be a good role model to my younger siblings? Would I feel like a guinea pig to my mom and dad's parenting techniques? Would I be good at looking after my siblings and teaching them new things? Would I be sad to leave my brothers and sisters behind while I went off to college? Or would I be happy to go to get away from the chaos?

If I was the middle sibling would I feel invisible? Would it be a relief that not all the pressure of being a positive role model was on me? Would I have to fight for attention? Would I be annoyed at the hand me downs? Would I feel less stressed that I would have an older sibling to go through stuff first (going to high school, driving test, first date, going to college) and give me advice on how to handle it?

If I was the youngest sibling would I feel pressure to live up to my older brothers and sisters? Would I be even more annoyed than my middle siblings at hand me downs because they are in even crappier shape than when they got them? Would I be sad that I didn't have any younger siblings to impart my wisdom? Would I feel sad when all my older siblings left the home for college because it would feel strange being the only one in the house? Or would I think it's awesome that I finally have all my parents' attention and the whole house to myself?

These are just some things that I am wondering about. As I look at my son I wonder if God will bless us with many brothers and sisters for him. We believe the greatest gift we can give him is a sibling, whenever that will be, we don't know. However, I do cherish these moments of just Mommy, Daddy and Joe.

Would I have a different attitude and outlook on life if I would have had more siblings? Perhaps, but I thank God he has given me my older brother and I think things worked out perfectly the way they have!