Finding a Place to Settle

You want to hear a funny story?

Well, it's kind of an "aww, bummer" story, but still kind of funny.

Back in the 1850's my ancestors left their home in Tennessee and traveled north by flatboat to find a new place to settle.

They traveled hundreds of miles to the land of a newly settled town. They didn't think much of this new settlement. They had major doubts that it would be successful.

So they traveled back south a little ways and established a small settlement right alongside the Missouri river. They named this settlement Sonora.

So what became of that settlement they passed up?

It grew into what is now known as Omaha, Nebraska.

 

 What became of Sonora?

Somewhere in the middle of the Missouri river lies the settlement my ancestors began. The forces of the Mighty Mo took over and swallowed up their tiny town. It was a slow process, but it was inevitable, so they packed up and settled about 30 miles away.

I have heard this story a number of times and it always makes me think of where my family and I will permanently settle, if we "settle" at all. 

We have moved once a year the past four years. Not only does that take a physical and mental toll on me, but a major emotional strain as well. I get emotionally attached to a place and when I have to get used to something new, I get all out of sorts. That probably explains the overwhelming sadness I mentioned in my last post. Thankfully the adjustment to this house has been going a lot better.

Even though we seriously plan on being in this house longer than a year, we know that this isn't ultimately where we want to settle down. We've moved from place to place in hopes of something better. When we lived in Waverly we kept hoping to get back to Kansas City. When we moved to Kansas City we stayed with my in-laws until we could find our own place. Shortly after we moved to our apartment we knew that wasn't the place to raise our children. So now we are at a house, which is definitely a step up from our apartment, but will not fulfill our needs for the long run. While we are happy to have a house, a backyard, and no upstairs neighbors that make our floors shake, it's not the place we want to settle.

Ryan's parents have lived in the same house since Ryan was born. I love going through old photos and seeing how certain rooms have changed over the years and all the different remodels. I know Ryan enjoys going back to his childhood home. I have a couple of friends who can go back to their childhood home as well.

I know nowadays staying in the same house is somewhat rare. I don't really know of anyone in my generation or really even in my brother's generation that have stayed put. A lot of my friends have moved from state to state. Others have been in their house for a long time, but have plans to relocate when they get the chance.

I always have big dreams of where I want to raise my family. There are times I go back to my small, rural hometown to visit my mom and I'll be sitting out back on a nice day and I will have such a content feeling wash over me. My high school golf coach lives behind my mom and I'll see her and her family grilling and having a good time. A girl who graduated a couple years before I did will walk by with her husband and wave. I'll drive down Main Street and a flood of happy memories will drift into my mind. I can see myself raising my boys in this little town. (I have a whole blog post in my head dedicated to my hometown.)

Ryan and I will be driving out in the country. Anywhere in the country and I'll have this yearning to live in a big ol' farmhouse with a giant picture window overlooking miles and miles of fields and hills. In the middle of Kansas, Nebraska... I don't care where, but I just want a giant area for the boys to explore and a clear sky at night to see the stars.

I'll be driving to my cousin's house in suburban Kansas City and see kids running from one giant yard to another playing, moms and dads chatting with each other in their driveways and families out taking walks with their dogs. It has such a small town feel but there's a Target not too far away and multiple opportunities for family fun.

Other times we'll be driving through the historic neighborhoods of Brookside and I feel I would just love to live in one of those big old homes and send my kids to the neighborhood Catholic school where they can walk home in big groups of green plaid-ed kiddos. Walk down to Reading Reptile children's bookstore on the weekends or a nice stroll at Loose Park.

Sometimes my dreams go out of state. I would love to live in the mountains of Colorado or amongst the glistening lakes of Minnesota. A totally different state, totally different people... a different landscape... a different culture.

Who knows what the future has in store for us. I keep waiting to feel that at home, peaceful, settled feeling. Most of all, I want it for my kids. I don't want to constantly uproot them. I want them to be safe and happy and in a place to build good memories.

I'm sure God will lead us to where we need to go. I just hope we listen and settle in a good place...

.... that won't eventually be covered by a major body of water.

7 Quick Takes- The Lazy Edition

There isn't much to report here. So you get to look at cute pictures of my kids. 

1.

Sam isn't crawling yet, but he's doing some hardcore plank exercises. This kid is more athletic than me! 

 2. 

On the pope's last day we colored a picture of Papa B and waved bye bye. Melted my heart!

 3.

I love it when Sam falls asleep holding my hand. He turned 7 months old yesterday. These moments won't last much longer!

 4.

 

I have some pretty cute kiddos. I wish you could see the cape on the back of Joe's shirt. 

5.

 

Chemistry has been taking up a lot of my time these days.

ZzzZzzZzZZZzzzzzz....

 6. 

Joe is fascinated by dinosaurs. I'll Google pictures of dinosaurs and he goes crazy with excitement! We're thinking about taking him to a restaurant called T-Rex. It's made up to look like a prehistoric world with huge moving dinosaurs. I'm almost too worried it will scare him... 

7. 

My beautiful, wacky family.

Have a good weekend! Check out Jen's page for some more interesting Quick Takes!

Family Picture Weekend

This weekend was VERY busy.

I spent all day Saturday getting caught up on homework. It even cut into my TV and wine time at night, so I wasn't very happy.

Sunday we went down to the River Market district to get family photos taken. It's a stressful ordeal for me to look good. I was constantly fixing my hair and making sure I didin't have lipstick in my teeth.

The stress level went up a bit when we were driving up a hill and oh, you know... stopped moving. Thankfully the  brakes worked, but we couldn't go forward. Ryan is a ninja driver and was able to back the van out of the lane of traffic. We were still blocking a driveway and thankfully some good Samaritans helped push us into a parking spot.

We rushed to where we were meeting our photographer and plastered on sunshine-y, happy faces for 30 minutes. Thankfully our photographer was awesome! She was so nice and patient and worked very well with the boys. It made smiling much easier!



After the photo shoot we took refuge in a coffee shop while Ryan figured out where to tow the van.

Thankfully our in-laws let us borrow their car so we were able to get back to our apartment.


Later we got the sneak peek to our photos and oh. my. gosh. I am beyond excited about them! Jessica did such a great job!


We drove back Ryan's parent's house to watch the Super Bowl. Well, I did homework while everyone else watched the Super Bowl, but it looks like the only thing I missed out on was a black out, 7359 CBS commercials and Beyonce furthering the beauty of womankind along with her S&M lingerie outfit dancing like a stripper.

Here are is the sneak peek to our family photos! Jessica said she didn't edit my boys' super blue eyes at all! They got those from their daddy!

Go check out more of Jessica's awesome work at Peace of You Photography.

Obligatory After Christmas Day Post

Well by golly, our Christmas was wonderful, beautiful and chaotic! 

Here are a few snapshots from the 500 zillion we took. 

Starting the sugar early.

Just kidding! The wrapper was still on.

I'm way too lazy to take off the wrapper.

Brotherly love!

EGGNOG! 

"It would taste better with rum."

 Last, but certainly not least, our Christmas family photo. 

As you can see from our Christmas card, we are soooooo awesome at taking family photos. 

Nailed it!

Hope you and yours continue to have a wonderful Christmas season!

Happy Halloween!

Another classy family photo. Too bad Sam was sleeping!

I promise you this isn't always the look I have on my face.

Happy Halloween, y'all! Be on the look out for a bombarding of photos of my little cowboy and horsey... :-)

This Year's Christmas Card Photo?

 

This was taken this weekend at our annual outing to Vala's Pumpkin Patch. Just a few hours before a pregnant woman carrying around a 3 year old asked me how the transition from one child to two was for me. I smiled and told her it was a challenge at times, but worth the chaos. She should have asked a couple hours later to get the real truth. 

Here are some other snapshots from our day!

Ryan and Joe with the Storm Troopers. We briefly saw Darth Vader when we arrived but never saw him again. Must have had the runs or something.

Smilin' Sam.

Joe as a pig. Or "kig" as he calls them.

True love.

How was your weekend?

37 Weeks 6 Days

I was one day shy of 38 weeks when pre-eclampsia kicked my butt and I was induced. Joe was not ready to come out so 2 days later I had to have a c-section. With that began a whole new chapter in our lives. A very terrifying, exciting, and hilarious chapter, indeed.

I am at that point in my pregnancy today. My blood pressure has been perfect so far, thank God (and St. Gerard!) So I don't think we'll be meeting our son today.

So far my doctor has been totally laid-back and awesome about my wishes for a VBAC. He said the only way he would suggest a c-section is if I'm at 40 weeks and my cervix is still long and thick. However, he stressed multiple times that it is MY choice, which I really appreciate. He is open to what I feel is best. I just pray pre-e doesn't sneak up later in pregnancy to spoil it all. I feel good knowing that I have a very open-minded doctor.

Now it is the waiting game that is killing me. I've started the exercise ball bouncing, the EPO insertion, walking and... ahem... the frequent act of renewing our marriage vows to get things somewhat started. I know it won't work unless baby is ready, but I am willing to try. I'm getting anxious. I wonder if my water will break or if I will even dilate and efface. If my labor and delivery with Joe would have been "normal" would I have been able to do it all, or would I have stalled, or Joe's heart rate get too low? Who knows. So far my doctor hasn't mentioned this baby being too big like my last OB did with Joe, so that gives me a little hope that I can squeeze him through.

Not only am I anxious about when this is all going to go down, but I'm wondering how our family will adjust from three to four. It has always been just us three. I know it will be a challenge to adjust to two. It will be different. It is just weird to think about our family growing. I've always wanted a big family, but I'm so used to just one child that I don't know what to expect with two.

I often wonder how I will be able to handle two children. I already have experience with a newborn, so I don't think I'll be quite as petrified as I was with Joe. However, with newborn Joe I had only him to focus on. Now I will have a newborn AND Joe. I keep feeling like I'm going to forget something, like how to breastfeed. I feel like there's something I need to buy, but I don't know what it is. I'm so ready to meet this baby, but anxious, too.

I've been feeling guilty because I know my attention will be divided between Joe and the new baby. I've been so tired lately that I haven't had much energy to do anything, let alone play with Joe. I already feel like I am neglecting him by putting in a movie while I get some rest. I know the greatest gift you can give a child is a sibling and there are many times I see him interacting with other kids and can't wait to see him with a little brother.

This baby will be loved, no matter how unsure or scared we are about expanding our family. It might be scary, but I know it will be exciting to see our family grow.

The past few weeks Ryan, Joe and I have taken evening rides in our van. We get some ice cream at McDonalds or Sonic and just ride around. I enjoy these outings as a family and I can't wait to add another member to our summer cruises.

I just wish he would hurry up!

Questions for my Grandmother

47 years ago today my Grandma Margaret passed away. My mom was twelve years old.

I don't know a lot of intimate details of her life. There are no journals or diaries. Heck, it's even hard to find a photograph of her, since she despised having her picture taken. (Just like my mom.) I know she was a wife to Chub McAdams, a mother to seven children, and was a faithful Catholic. She died when she was fifty-two years old from colon cancer.

When I think about her, I don't "miss" her because I never met her. When I think on her death I do get sad, but not in the same way when I think about my uncles or aunts who have passed away. I can still hear my Uncle Bud's voice. I can still hear my Uncle Mick's laugh. I can see my Uncle Bob's sly smile. I can see my Uncle Dave sitting in a chair, talking, drinking a Mountain Dew. I miss them terribly. I don't have that same experience when thinking about my Grandma Margaret, or even my Grandpa Chub for that matter, since he passed away when I was just two years old.

I have always felt a special connection to my Grandma. I was born on her birthday and in the same town where she was born and raised. My mother named me after her. I always thought that had a little something to do with my mom's decision not to give me up for adoption. My Grandma was very active in the choir at church, played the piano and loved participating in music. I like to think that I got my love of music from her. When I was little I was convinced she was my guardian angel.

Now that I am an adult there are times I wish I could talk to her face to face. When I am feeling discouraged about what is going on in my life I wish I could ask her questions..........

Did you ever worry how you and your husband would raise seven children? Did you even want seven children? How did you cope with the chaos? How did you discipline? Were you worried you would screw them up and they'd grow up to be psycho killers? Did you ever want to bang your head against the wall?


Did you ever worry about life? Were you a worrier like me? My mom told me a story about a time she was talking to her dad, fretting about something, and he told her, "You worry just like your mom used to." My mom also remembers one of her brothers getting you a book called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. How did you power through your worries and fears?

Did you ever despair in your financial situation? I know that you and your husband were poor. However, your children never knew just how bad off they were until they were much older. How did you hide it from them? How did you provide a happy childhood for them? How did you get by? Did you lay in bed and night and soak your pillow with your tears like I have done? Did you rely on God's help? Did you ever fear the worst?

It is well known in our family that you were a devoted Catholic. You were very active in your parish. Did you ever have doubts in your faith? Did you ever have spiritual darkness? Did you ever wonder what direction God wanted you to go in your life? You lived in a town that was dominantly Protestant. How hard was it to hold on to your faith? Did you ever fall to your knees in sorrow and pain and beg God for help? Was there anything you questioned about the Catholic Church? How did you raise your children in the church? Were you strict?

What were your feelings when after six boys you finally got your daughter? Were you over the moon excited? Were you ever scared being a mom? Your own mother died when you were just six years old. Did you ever second guess yourself? Was it always your dream to be a mother?

Did you ever have dreams and hopes? When I was younger I had big dreams of being an actress. Did you ever want to be a musician or a writer? I hear stories of how much you loved to write and how you were one of the fastest typists ever. Did I get my love of writing from you? Did you ever want to travel? Did you ever feel trapped in small town with seven kids? Or were you content with life?


I've heard that your siblings were a little more financially well off than you were. Did that make you jealous? Did you long for a big beautiful home with nice things? Did you long to be free of financial worry? Did you ever worry your children would feel the sting of being poor?

Your seven children were not all born very close together. My oldest uncle was 20 years old when my mom, the youngest and only girl, was born. As they grew older their sibling bonds grew tighter and stronger. How did you instill in them how important family is? I am hoping and praying that my children have a strong bond growing up like my mom and her siblings. How did you do that?

One thing my uncles have stressed about you is that you were very charismatic and had lots of friends. You could meet a stranger and an hour later you had exchanged addresses and would correspond for years. So it seems that even if you were depressed or melancholy at times you hid it well. My mom gets stopped in the grocery store by older people who tell her how wonderful of a woman you were. You've been gone from this world for nearly 50 years. What an impact you must have made. Even though there aren't many photos of you, I am sure your smile was infectious. I bet your laugh was hearty and joyful.


What do you think of your family here on earth? Do we make you proud? Are you resting in peace knowing that your children and grandchildren are still quite close? Are you happy that we rejoice in life, revel in memories and are dedicated to family? Are you sad that no priest or nun has come out of the family like you always wanted? (I promise I'll work on that for you!) Do I make you proud?

From what I can tell you were a happy woman. You were a devoted daughter of God and loved the Catholic Church, but you were no Puritan. She enjoyed a good shaggy dog story. Your grandparents had come to America from Ireland, so I'm sure you had a lot of spunk and spitfire.



I wish I could have known you. I know someday if I get to heaven I can ask you these questions. Whenever one of my uncles passes away, I always imagine you are the first person to greet them on the other side. You were the first to see them come into this world; you are the first person to see them in the other world. Someday our entire family will be reunited again. Not just for a three day family reunion or a couple days for a funeral. We will be reunited forever. Being stuck with your family for all eternity? Sounds like hell for some people. But not for us. It will be a glorious banquet. A perpetual campfire to gather around. And Jesus and Mary and the saints will be there, too, which will make it even more grand.



You have left such a great legacy. Through your marriage to Grandpa Chub you had 7 children and 28 grandchildren. Your family keeps growing. You keep on living through us. Even though I can't ask you the questions I want to ask you, I can listen to the stories I hear, learn from your life, and try to live my life as you did- loving God, loving family and loving life.

Questions for my Grandmother

47 years ago today my Grandma Margaret passed away. My mom was twelve years old.

I don't know a lot of intimate details of her life. There are no journals or diaries. Heck, it's even hard to find a photograph of her, since she despised having her picture taken. (Just like my mom.) I know she was a wife to Chub McAdams, a mother to seven children, and was a faithful Catholic. She died when she was fifty-two years old from colon cancer.

When I think about her, I don't "miss" her because I never met her. When I think on her death I do get sad, but not in the same way when I think about my uncles or aunts who have passed away. I can still hear my Uncle Bud's voice. I can still hear my Uncle Mick's laugh. I can see my Uncle Bob's sly smile. I can see my Uncle Dave sitting in a chair, talking, drinking a Mountain Dew. I miss them terribly. I don't have that same experience when thinking about my Grandma Margaret, or even my Grandpa Chub for that matter, since he passed away when I was just two years old.

I have always felt a special connection to my Grandma. I was born on her birthday and in the same town where she was born and raised. My mother named me after her. I always thought that had a little something to do with my mom's decision not to give me up for adoption. My Grandma was very active in the choir at church, played the piano and loved participating in music. I like to think that I got my love of music from her. When I was little I was convinced she was my guardian angel.

Now that I am an adult there are times I wish I could talk to her face to face. When I am feeling discouraged about what is going on in my life I wish I could ask her questions..........

Did you ever worry how you and your husband would raise seven children? Did you even want seven children? How did you cope with the chaos? How did you discipline? Were you worried you would screw them up and they'd grow up to be psycho killers? Did you ever want to bang your head against the wall?


Did you ever worry about life? Were you a worrier like me? My mom told me a story about a time she was talking to her dad, fretting about something, and he told her, "You worry just like your mom used to." My mom also remembers one of her brothers getting you a book called How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. How did you power through your worries and fears?

Did you ever despair in your financial situation? I know that you and your husband were poor. However, your children never knew just how bad off they were until they were much older. How did you hide it from them? How did you provide a happy childhood for them? How did you get by? Did you lay in bed and night and soak your pillow with your tears like I have done? Did you rely on God's help? Did you ever fear the worst?

It is well known in our family that you were a devoted Catholic. You were very active in your parish. Did you ever have doubts in your faith? Did you ever have spiritual darkness? Did you ever wonder what direction God wanted you to go in your life? You lived in a town that was dominantly Protestant. How hard was it to hold on to your faith? Did you ever fall to your knees in sorrow and pain and beg God for help? Was there anything you questioned about the Catholic Church? How did you raise your children in the church? Were you strict?

What were your feelings when after six boys you finally got your daughter? Were you over the moon excited? Were you ever scared being a mom? Your own mother died when you were just six years old. Did you ever second guess yourself? Was it always your dream to be a mother?

Did you ever have dreams and hopes? When I was younger I had big dreams of being an actress. Did you ever want to be a musician or a writer? I hear stories of how much you loved to write and how you were one of the fastest typists ever. Did I get my love of writing from you? Did you ever want to travel? Did you ever feel trapped in small town with seven kids? Or were you content with life?


I've heard that your siblings were a little more financially well off than you were. Did that make you jealous? Did you long for a big beautiful home with nice things? Did you long to be free of financial worry? Did you ever worry your children would feel the sting of being poor?

Your seven children were not all born very close together. My oldest uncle was 20 years old when my mom, the youngest and only girl, was born. As they grew older their sibling bonds grew tighter and stronger. How did you instill in them how important family is? I am hoping and praying that my children have a strong bond growing up like my mom and her siblings. How did you do that?

One thing my uncles have stressed about you is that you were very charismatic and had lots of friends. You could meet a stranger and an hour later you had exchanged addresses and would correspond for years. So it seems that even if you were depressed or melancholy at times you hid it well. My mom gets stopped in the grocery store by older people who tell her how wonderful of a woman you were. You've been gone from this world for nearly 50 years. What an impact you must have made. Even though there aren't many photos of you, I am sure your smile was infectious. I bet your laugh was hearty and joyful.


What do you think of your family here on earth? Do we make you proud? Are you resting in peace knowing that your children and grandchildren are still quite close? Are you happy that we rejoice in life, revel in memories and are dedicated to family? Are you sad that no priest or nun has come out of the family like you always wanted? (I promise I'll work on that for you!) Do I make you proud?

From what I can tell you were a happy woman. You were a devoted daughter of God and loved the Catholic Church, but you were no Puritan. She enjoyed a good shaggy dog story. Your grandparents had come to America from Ireland, so I'm sure you had a lot of spunk and spitfire.



I wish I could have known you. I know someday if I get to heaven I can ask you these questions. Whenever one of my uncles passes away, I always imagine you are the first person to greet them on the other side. You were the first to see them come into this world; you are the first person to see them in the other world. Someday our entire family will be reunited again. Not just for a three day family reunion or a couple days for a funeral. We will be reunited forever. Being stuck with your family for all eternity? Sounds like hell for some people. But not for us. It will be a glorious banquet. A perpetual campfire to gather around. And Jesus and Mary and the saints will be there, too, which will make it even more grand.



You have left such a great legacy. Through your marriage to Grandpa Chub you had 7 children and 28 grandchildren. Your family keeps growing. You keep on living through us. Even though I can't ask you the questions I want to ask you, I can listen to the stories I hear, learn from your life, and try to live my life as you did- loving God, loving family and loving life.

Rest in Peace, Aunt Joy

Aunt Joy passed away peacefully at 11:40 last night. She was removed from her breathing machine around 2:30 earlier that afternoon. Joy continued to prove that she is a fighter and continued to hold on. They gave her minimal oxygen and morphine so she wouldn't go into distress. She took her last breath with her husband by her side.

It has been a long week of waiting and praying. Waiting to see if the therapeutic hypothermia would work. Waiting to see if she would wake up. Waiting for her to be released from this world.

My heart is heavy. All of my family is deep in mourning. Gosh, I wish you all could have met her. My hope is that you have someone like Joy in your life. Although, there is no one quite like her.

Joy was an avid pig collector. Their house was stuffed full of books, religious artwork, and pigs. To Joy's delight, very few pigs were harmed or blown away during the Joplin tornado.

Joy loved to read and enjoyed her time working part time in a book store before she retired.


Joy loved Jesus and she deeply embraced her Catholic faith. She was a good, faithful Catholic long before the rest of us in the McAdams family got our spiritual butt kicking/wake up call. I remember being shocked beyond anything when I found out she was a convert to the faith. Joy's identity was Catholic. I couldn't imagine it being anything other than that.

I remember being so in awe of Joy's devotion. She was always burnin' up the rosary beads. She had a separate rosary for each family member and you can guarantee she would pray for you. She wasn't the type of person that said she would pray for you just to say the words. You could rest assured that she was praying for you and whatever was troubling you.

There is a part in our Mass where the priest says to the congregation, "Lift up your hearts," and we reply, "We lift them up to the Lord." Well, Joy's heart was beyond no doubt lifted up to the Lord during Mass. She wasn't ostentatious or flashy. It was just very visible that she truly believed that Mass is where heaven and earth meet. Her whole face was transformed. Every word she said, every action she did, it was with love for her Savior.

She always wore a large crucifix necklace. She was proud of her Catholic faith. Because of this, I chose her to be my confirmation sponsor. It was nice to know that as I was receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit I had a very holy woman standing behind me, praying that I made good use of these graces. (It took awhile, but I got there!) She also distributed the Body of Christ at my wedding. It was truly an honor for us that she was there to do that.

Joy was very holy. She did not waver in her orthodox beliefs of the Catholic Church. But what was so amazing about her was that she was not the "holier than thou" type. She did everything in the light of Christian charity. She did not condemn. She did not judge. She did not poke fun. She loved as Christ did. She had a happy faith. It wasn't all doom and gloom and hell fire for her. She saw the beauty of God's grace and the tremendous gifts he left us in the Church.

Her faith was child-like. And he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3) Joy accepted everything from God with faith. She looked to God with wonderment and awe. She truly saw him as a caring and loving Father who never abandons his children.

She was a kid at heart in everything she did. She was goofy. She was always smiling and laughing. She enjoyed Harry Potter and even went to the midnight release of the book Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. She had a little bit of fun-loving hippie funk in her. She definitely wasn't boring. She was truly full of life. Her name fit her perfectly because she just exuded joy.


Her first and foremost vocation in life was to be a faithful daughter of God. But right behind that was her vocation as wife and mother. She loved all her children fiercely. She made sure all their needs were met, even as they entered adulthood. She was truly caring.

But her marriage to her beloved Alan was truly something amazing. Talk about self-sacrificial love, well this couple has it. They put their love into action. Even though her health was starting to take a downward turn, she devoted herself to taking care of Alan when he was going through treatments for his lung cancer. She put his needs before her own. When Joy's health began to fail Alan in turn took care of his wife. When her mobility started to deteriorate, Alan was always there to help her around. Their love is a true example of what love really is. It is a choice. A choice to put your beloved before yourself. They both made sure the other one was happy before they met their own needs. Their marriage is a solid example of how God designed matrimony.

Their marriage was happy and fun. My Uncle Alan is known to be a bit of a goof ball. (OK, a huge goof ball) and Joy was a faithful wife who always laughed along. There was no eye rolling from her- just glee and a sparkle as Alan made the rest of us laugh. She and Alan always joked that no one knew Alan's name- they only knew Joy. Alan is simply known as "That guy with Joy." He even jokes that he will have that on his tombstone.



I know I mentioned this in a previous post, but Joy suffered a great deal these past two years. Arthritis had taken over her body. She first started out with a cane (which she named Horatio Caine after a favored CSI character. See, I told you she was funny!), then had to use a walker, and for the past year she has been in a wheelchair. I can't imagine the intense physical pain that she has gone through. But she never once complained. What hurt my Uncle Alan the most during this whole ordeal is how much suffering she has gone through when all she has ever done is love and serve others. The priest who came to anoint her before she died told my Uncle that the reason she suffers so much is because she CHOOSES to suffer with the crucified Savior. She has carried her cross in love to be united with Jesus. She chose this path. Someday when her children, grandchildren and numerous nieces and nephews go to heaven they will see how much suffering they were spared in their life because Aunt Joy prayed so fervently for them and took on their suffering. She took on our suffering because she loves us so much. Joy is truly a saint.



I wonder if there was a deep spiritual battle going on while Joy was passing away. I can imagine the devil really wanted his greasy evil hands on her soul. But oh, my... I know there were multitudes of angels and saints just kicking the crap out of Satan and his minions. And Joy was right there, flaming sword and all, proclaiming her love of God.

Joy is happy now. She is so holy that I'm sure her toes just skimmed the fires of Purgatory and she is in eternal happiness. I mean, she is beyond words, so incredibly blissful. She is not suffering at all. She gets to walk and talk with family members that have gone before us. She gets to see colors that our eyes can't even comprehend. Her world is so beautiful and perfect. Absolutely perfect. All those countless hours she has run her hands across her rosary beads, well now she gets to hold her hand in our Blessed Mother's hand. She gets to embrace her living Savior. We have the Eucharist, which is pretty awesome, but she gets to see Christ in ALL his glory. So many times on this earth she has spoken, "Lord, Lord." but now she gets to hear from the lips of God, "Joy, welcome."

It is us, here on earth, the family and friends of Joy, who are the sad ones. We have a hole in our hearts. Life will not be the same without her smile and warmth. I sure hope I live a good life so I can someday get to heaven and be with Joy again.

But one thing is for sure.... I think some wonderful and amazing things will be happening in our lives because Joy is now in heaven praying for us. We are so blessed to have had her in our lives, but now even more blessed that we have our own saint in heaven looking down on us!

Thank you, Aunt Joy, for all you have done. You will be greatly missed. We love you so much.