I was one day shy of 38 weeks when pre-eclampsia kicked my butt and I was induced. Joe was not ready to come out so 2 days later I had to have a c-section. With that began a whole new chapter in our lives. A very terrifying, exciting, and hilarious chapter, indeed.
I am at that point in my pregnancy today. My blood pressure has been perfect so far, thank God (and St. Gerard!) So I don't think we'll be meeting our son today.
So far my doctor has been totally laid-back and awesome about my wishes for a VBAC. He said the only way he would suggest a c-section is if I'm at 40 weeks and my cervix is still long and thick. However, he stressed multiple times that it is MY choice, which I really appreciate. He is open to what I feel is best. I just pray pre-e doesn't sneak up later in pregnancy to spoil it all. I feel good knowing that I have a very open-minded doctor.
Now it is the waiting game that is killing me. I've started the exercise ball bouncing, the EPO insertion, walking and... ahem... the frequent act of renewing our marriage vows to get things somewhat started. I know it won't work unless baby is ready, but I am willing to try. I'm getting anxious. I wonder if my water will break or if I will even dilate and efface. If my labor and delivery with Joe would have been "normal" would I have been able to do it all, or would I have stalled, or Joe's heart rate get too low? Who knows. So far my doctor hasn't mentioned this baby being too big like my last OB did with Joe, so that gives me a little hope that I can squeeze him through.
Not only am I anxious about when this is all going to go down, but I'm wondering how our family will adjust from three to four. It has always been just us three. I know it will be a challenge to adjust to two. It will be different. It is just weird to think about our family growing. I've always wanted a big family, but I'm so used to just one child that I don't know what to expect with two.
I often wonder how I will be able to handle two children. I already have experience with a newborn, so I don't think I'll be quite as petrified as I was with Joe. However, with newborn Joe I had only him to focus on. Now I will have a newborn AND Joe. I keep feeling like I'm going to forget something, like how to breastfeed. I feel like there's something I need to buy, but I don't know what it is. I'm so ready to meet this baby, but anxious, too.
I've been feeling guilty because I know my attention will be divided between Joe and the new baby. I've been so tired lately that I haven't had much energy to do anything, let alone play with Joe. I already feel like I am neglecting him by putting in a movie while I get some rest. I know the greatest gift you can give a child is a sibling and there are many times I see him interacting with other kids and can't wait to see him with a little brother.
This baby will be loved, no matter how unsure or scared we are about expanding our family. It might be scary, but I know it will be exciting to see our family grow.
The past few weeks Ryan, Joe and I have taken evening rides in our van. We get some ice cream at McDonalds or Sonic and just ride around. I enjoy these outings as a family and I can't wait to add another member to our summer cruises.
I just wish he would hurry up!
4 comments:
You have been on my mind lately, wondering how you are doing. You are in the home stretch! I am 3 weeks behind you, yet I am so ready to meet our little guy. Don't worry, Joe will love his little brother. The one thing someone told us to do was to take an album with baby pictures of our first and show them that this is exactly what happened when they were a baby. (Well hopefully, it won't be exactly the same, but you know what I mean!) Prayers for a safe, easy delivery.
Glad to have an update =D You've been in my prayers, and I feel confident that your second little is going to fit into your family perfectly even if it's in a way you can't quite comprehend yet! I hear so many mom's say that their second was "just what they needed" after their firsts - either exciting enough to keep them on their toes or the most chill babies ever!
And just remember it'll be one day at a time just like it was with Joe! We're praying for you!
It'll be awesome! But I agree the waiting and wondering is hard. Praying that it all goes smoothly!
I'm so glad it's still going well! I say don't worry about trying to naturally induce him yet - you'll just drive yourself crazy if it doesn't happen, especially since it's still plenty early. I will be sure to keep you in my prayers over these next several weeks!
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