I had my 39 week appointment today. I wasn't going to get too excited because I had a feeling that nothing had changed from last week. I had no progress then.
My blood pressure and weight were fine. The baby's heartbeat was fantastic. But the look on his face when he was checking me did not give me hope. He just kind of sighed and had that "I hate to tell you this" look on his face. He informed me that my chances for a VBAC were not looking too good at this point because the baby hadn't dropped. Since we are treating this as my first vaginal birth he said that by this time in my pregnancy the baby should have been somewhat engaged in my pelvis. The baby's head is nowhere near getting to that point. That fact that he is not could possibly mean my pelvis is too small for him to get down there.
My water could break and I could dilate, but if my baby's head is not down there is a risk for cord prolapse. Or I could start to push and my pelvis won't be wide enough for the baby's head to pass through. Both of these are serious risks with having a vaginal delivery.
He said he has been pleasently surprised before with women who he was convinced were not going to be able to have a VBAC. They delivered beautifully. He talked about how delivering babies is such a crazy game and you never know what God has in store.
Even though he is doubtful I will be able to have a successful VBAC, he told me that it was still my choice. I could schedule a c-section or wait another week. I decided to wait. My due date is this Friday and my next appointment is the following Tuesday. I wanted to give my body a little longer.
I did shed a few tears while driving home but I didn't have a full break down like I thought I would. I tried looking at the bright side. If I do have a c-section, I have been through one before and know what to expect. And unlike last time I know there is a possibility of a c-section. With Joe I was in denial about having a c-section pretty much up to the point to where they were wheeling me into the O.R. And I know what the recovery is like with a c-section and I had a very fast and easy one with my first c-section.
I haven't developed pre-eclampsia so far which is a HUGE blessing. I don't know how I could take care of Joe and a newborn while battling high blood pressure. It was a huge scary ordeal for me and really took away a lot of the joy in welcoming Joe to the world.
If my pelvis is too small to deliver vaginally then thank God for modern medicine and c-sections so that my baby and I can be safe from harm.
My doctor has assured me that just because I have c-sections doesn't mean that I have to have a small family. He has on many occasions delivered a woman's fourth or fifth child by c-section with no complications.
No matter what the means are to get the baby out, the end will be the same- a precious baby to hold in my arms.
I'm still pretty bummed. I know that there is still hope for a VBAC, but I am getting very discouraged. And even if my water breaks I will be scared that my baby hasn't dropped and complications could occur. Although my measurements have lined up perfectly with how many weeks I am, I still wonder if my due date is off. All these doubts and questions and worries are going through my head. I still get jealous of women when I hear about their vaginal deliveries. Now I will be jealous of those women who had successful VBACs.
I am praying a novena to St. Gerard that is to end on my due date. My prayers are to keep baby and me safe and for me to accept God's will regarding VBAC/c-section. I know I have many friends and family praying for me as well, which I am very grateful for. I'm just stubborn and want God's will to conform to mine.
Who knows what will happen in the next week. Like my doctor said, who knows what God has in store for us! I'm still anxious and nervous, but God knows best.
God knows best.
19 comments:
I was going to text you earlier to see how your appointment went. Glad you updated. I'm sorry the news wasn't better, but hang in there. It was smart to wait it out until your due date (IMO)....see what happens. Praying for you and your family!
I hope you are able to have your son VBAC, but I will say that all 4 of my younger siblings were born via C-section, so I know that multiple c-sections can work out fine.
I'll be praying my heart out for you! There is nothing wrong with a baby not being "engaged" as palpated during a vaginal exam at (an estimated) 39 weeks. <3 Stay strong and trust God's goodness in the way He created your body!
Hang in there! Your doctor might just be going over all the possibilities so that they are in your mind in case something happens (so he doesn't have to convince you for a c-section in the middle of labour). I've heard of things like this, breach babies who turn at the last minute, etc. etc.
Just remember that in the end the goal is to "Give Life" no matter how you have to "Give Birth" - the birth is such a small fraction of the big picture.
You'll be in my prayers!
I agree with your decision to wait and see what happens in the next week or so. I'm praying.
Praying for you and that sweet baby!
Praying for you and your little one. Glad you are feeling increased peace about however he decides to enter the outside world. Congrats on making it to the end with no pre-eclampsia!!
I'm so glad to hear you and baby are doing well - and your doctor sounds amazing! Prayer for a healthy, safe delivery that you are at peace with - however it goes.
(Also, my friend had an emergency c-section with her first and then a somewhat-scheduled (similar to you, trying/hoping for VBAC - listening to her body, the baby, and doctors for final decision) c-section and the 2nd was much better b/c she knew what to expect, her hubby was with her, and she got to see the baby right away. I know this doesn't make the possibility of having the c-section better, but hopefully it gives you a little peace.)
Oh my goodness, you are so close!! And God has already decided on the perfect way for your baby to be delivered. Just leave it up to Him :) You're being an amazing Mom to wait it out because i know if I had a chance to get the baby out early, my weak/hormonal self would probably jump on it!
oh Maggie, this is hard :( I can imagine if I were in your shoes I would be disappointed as well. I will continue to pray for you. I think it's a good idea to give your body another week, who knows, he could move down in the last few days. I remember reading that not all babies engage before labor, so there is still hope. But you are right, you've gone through it before, so you know what to expect, and that is a small blessing.
Hi Maggie! I've been thinking of you and praying for you and baby daily! I think waiting is perfectly fine. "back in the day" women went way past their due date and they did not even have the modern technology that we have today. You are in great hands and know that God is working through your doctor. Just enjoy these days with Joe and just try to "be". Nature will take its course. No matter what....baby #2 is definitely going to make his arrival very soon! How exciting!
Hi Maggie,
I'm a VBAC mama. My second baby (first VBAC) didn't drop until labor. Vaginal examas mean very little, please check out ICAN. God made you perfectly to birth. <3
You don't know me, but I wanted to leave you some encouragement about your VBAC! I just had a VBAC 4 months ago with my second son. At 39 weeks there was no sign of labor, he was high, i didn't have an internal check because I just didn't want to know. I didn't drop until 42 weeks and my son was born at 42 weeks 4 days. Please don't feel discouraged yet! Things can happen over the next few weeks.
Hi! I am hoping for a vbac on my next pregnancy as well. I'm hoping that your prayer is answered and you have a successful vbac but if not you have a wonderful outlook, it's in God's hands. I was thinking that if you have not gone into labor on your own by your appointment date you could give it another couple of days? And see how you feel? But good luck and don't be down, you're doing a great job I can tell! :)
I saw this at Catholic Sorority and I wanted to offer my prayers and support. I have had three sections and I would not wish that on another person. That said, I have also had seven vaginal deliveries. I will keep you in prayer!
I was linked to you and just had a VBAC 4 days ago after 4 days of waters broken at -1 station with around 3 hours of pushing with a 9lb 12oz baby. It is possible, safe and empowering. A baby not being engaged IS NOT an indication for a cesarean (per the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, where your OB should be getting their protocol from) and your best bet is to look around your practice and find another OB willing to discuss your options with you. Second time babies do not usually engage until labor starts and the risk of cord prolapse is very, very low and is almost exclusively an issue that occurs when your water is broken artificially, when the water breaks on its own, the baby's head will either engage into the pelvis and cover the cervix to prevent prolapse or the bag of waters will re-seal itself if there is a risk present.
The most important thing you need in a situation like this is a provider who is willing to give you actual information as well as risks and benefits. Your OB, to be honest, sounds like they are looking for any possible reason to avoid either the liability of VBAC or the possibility of having to come in when you spontaneously go into labor. Don't be afraid to do your own research, ask questions and say no when you feel that something isn't right for you or your baby.
I'm a VBAC mama and honestly I think drs are full of crap when it comes to birth. Your due date can be wrong which means your pregnancy isn't actually finished until closer to 42 weeks which is the ACOGs standard for full term pregnancy (38-42 weeks). I wouldn't let the dr even talk c section until 42 weeks and 3 days. There is no reason why this baby won't drop when it's time to labor. My baby was posterior and switched to anterior during labor while I swayed my hips in a tub at home. My hospital doesnt let VBACs off the bed or off the monitor or in a tub during labor which is why i stayed home. You need to be able to move freely during your labor. Stay home as long as possible. Cord prolapse is rare. Sounds like he was scaring you and doing the bait and switch that drs do to us VBACs. I.e. You are only allowed to labor for so long and our hips may be too smal or blah blah blah. I'm sorry God designed my body to make a baby without me thinking "today I'll make a toe. Today I'll make an endocrine system that knows how to grow a person into adulthood and through puberty. Today I'll make a reproductive system that can make life itself." Your body knows how to make a baby and it knows how to birth it. Many babies don't drop til the end. Dilation before labor means NOTHING. Women walk around at 4-6 cm for weeks before their baby is born while other will be 2 cm and have a baby in their arms 12 hours later. Do not be disheartened my dear sister. You follow your gut!!! You can birth this baby. It's you doing it, not the dr. Now you know the risks, now move on in faith that none of that will happen. Visualize your birth and live it's Truth!!
Mama, please believe in your body and your baby. Your dr should be ashamed of himself not supporting you! I never even had vaginal exams with my HBAC babe last year(homebirth after csec). Doing what he just did puts you in such a bad frame of mind, and is NOT what a mama late in preg hoping for a VBAC needs!! God created you perfectly, your body is NOT broken. Praying for you to find some peace for now and that you get to have your VBAC. Please check out ICAN. They are so awesome and would be such a huge source of support and info for you. Hugs.
Christy
Don't let that dr push you around! Stand your ground for yourself and your babe! Have faith in your BODY. In your baby to know when it's the right time to move down! I've had two VBACs, and both my babes needed that little extra time to make their way down. I showed no signs of labor until 41 weeks or so. Nada.
With my first babe, my OB pushed me into inducing which led to a c-section. I was also told my pelvis 'may be too small'. Well, I proved that OB wrong- twice. My 3rd child was 5oz bigger than my first at 8lbs 14oz. :)
For what it's worth, that horrible c-section left me with life long complications. A c-section is nothing to throw around lightly. For wonderful support, contact ICAN.
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