Where were you?

My junior year school photo

When I was young I remember hearing older people comment on how they will never forget where they were when they heard Pearl Harbor was attacked or when President Kennedy was assassinated. I never thought I’d have an experience like that.

My experience, like the rest of yours, was 9-11.

I was a junior at Tarkio High School. My first hour class was band. We were in the midst of marching band season and I was in the color guard. While the rest of the band was in the band room learning the marching music, we color guard girls practiced in the gym. I remember we were just sitting around. We were just getting there so we hadn’t started our practicing yet. I remember one of the “S” twins coming in and saying that one of the World Trade Center buildings had been bombed. My first reaction was “Yikes…” but since I didn’t know the extent of the damage I wasn’t really too concerned.

That all changed in the next few minutes as the hallways of T.H.S started buzzing with activity. Something more was going on. I remember teachers going around and the words “We’ve been attacked” being said and rushing up to the library- one of the few rooms in our school that had cable TV.

The library was jammed full of students and thankfully the TV footage was projected onto a huge screen so we were able to see what was going on. We all looked in shock at one of the World Trade Center towers burning. A plane had done this. Was this an accident? What was going on? It was all so devastating and confusing.

Pretty soon we all knew that this wasn’t just a random, horrible accident. We watched as another plane slammed into the tower. We watched as a plane crashed into the Pentagon. We watched as yet another plane crashed a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

Horror and panic set in. I remember my English teacher saying after the plane crashed into the Pentagon “We are going to war. You don’t mess with the Pentagon.” My thoughts had been on the boy I was dating at the time. He had graduated high school in the spring before and was far away at college. We had an innocent, young high school love that ran deep, and my fear was that he would be sent to fight those who attacked us. He had enlisted in the Air Force after he graduated from high school; long before any of this had happened. “Why, why, WHY did you decide to enlist?!” I kept mentally yelling at him while I was sitting there watching the attacks. We had no cell phones back then to text each other.

There was no way to get a hold of my mom. While watching the tragedy unfold I had a mental “I want my mommy” moment. My brother was far away in Kansas City. He is a police officer there. Seeing the officers on TV running around with blood on their hands and bravery on their face made me sick to my stomach. I kept seeing my big brother’s face on these police officers. I knew that these attacks were half a country away and my family and boyfriend were safe, but this was a moment where I just wanted to know where everybody I loved was at and if they were safe. I was thankful to be around my friends and teachers, but still yearned for more loved ones around me.

What was happening to our world? Attacks like this weren’t supposed to happen in AMERICA. My young classmates and I watched the news footage of the burning towers. We saw papers flying out of the windows of the Trade Center. We saw people running, crying, screaming. We saw sirens, smoke and dust. Would these horrors make their way to the safe, sleepy Midwest?

To our horror we saw the towers crumble. These massive, strong towers crumbling like they were nothing. All those people.. those innocent people. We couldn’t believe our eyes when we saw that death and destruction. My classmates and I matured in that library. Life wasn’t just worrying about a math test or striving to do our best at track practice. Life was more than getting ready for your driver’s test or making sure you had the right dress for homecoming. We learned in that hour or so that life was much, much more than what we thought it was.

We spent the rest of the day in a sort of perpetual study hall. We went to our classes, but nothing was taught. No work was done. We just all talked a lot about what we saw and how we were feeling. I remember being emotionally spent and learning there was still golf practice that afternoon after school. I remember thinking that our coach was so unfair, but I realize now that she knew we needed some sort of structure and normalcy. While walking the golf course my team mates and I looked up in the air, on this beautiful, clear fall afternoon, and saw no planes zigzagging the sky. It was a chilling, eerie feeling.

I remember driving home and seeing the gas station packed with people trying to get gas. The price was getting ready to go up to 3 or 4 bucks a gallon. That craziness went away after a few hours when our nation was assured that there would be no gas shortage.

I came home in a very foul mood. I was still mad that I had to go to golf practice when I wanted so desperately to call my boyfriend. My mom was expecting me to come home sad and wanting to hug her. I came home pissy, ranting and went straight away to call my boyfriend. (Ahh, how funny the emotions are of a teenage girl.) Eventually I came around and was able to spend quality time with my mom. I didn’t worry about homework that night. We watched the news coverage and thanked God we were safe.

I will always remember that day. It seemed so surreal. As we all know that day has forever changed our lives. Patriotism boomed the following months. Our homecoming theme was Patriotic. Our homecoming dance photo backdrop was an American flag. The yearbook theme for that year was All American.

Our fall homecoming was a couple weeks after the attacks.

My, how life has changed for our country these past 10 years. I have never flown before but my husband says that security before 9-11 and after are unbelievably different. We are in wars over this. I still consider my old high school boyfriend a friend and he has served our country overseas. I’ve had friends serve overseas. Ryan’s cousin was in Iraq. Everywhere you go you hear of someone who knows someone who is fighting for our freedom. Everywhere you go you hear of a young life cut short while fighting overseas.

Ten years is a long time. I’ve changed and grown so much. In some ways this 10 year anniversary of 9-11 makes me more sad then when it actually happened. I think that day and the months following 9-11 I was in shock. Now that I have gotten older I see that there is evil everywhere. I’m also more sad when thinking about 9-11 because I have a husband and a child. I cannot imagine losing my husband or child in a manner such as this. Something as routine as going into work or taking a flight ended up being the last day of their lives. How many spouses got into a fight that morning and parted ways mad at each other and one of them was killed in one of the planes? How many mothers and fathers were in a rush to get somewhere and didn’t kiss their baby goodbye and the child perished in one of the towers? I can’t fathom it and even writing those words make me sick with grief. The lesson I have learned is to never take for granted those you love.

My heart will be heavy this Sunday. However, it is my father-in-law’s birthday. I’m sure it’s not easy to share your birthday with such a day filled with sadness, but he is not the only person who was born on September 11. Thousands and thousands and thousands of babies have been born on this date since the attacks happened. Life goes on. We learn to see the beauty in life. We come to understand that life is precious. We learn that it isn’t the things in life that make us happy, it is that which you cannot buy and our loved ones.

I am proud of our country, especially the brave men and women of the military that sacrifice their well-being and their own lives to protect us. I am proud that we have been able to stand up and dust ourselves off from this tragedy. Life isn’t the same anymore, but I pray that we all can learn from this tragedy and live. Live.. truly live in a way that helps us to be better people, help those around us, and to be able to enjoy the eternal glory of God the Father in Paradise.

Praying for the victims of September 11th and their families.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let the perpetual light shine upon them.
May they rest in peace.
Amen.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:18-31