Blog Break...

I was ready to get into the heavy blogging stuff. I was ready to write posts that don't have to do with weight loss or baby poop. I have a post nearly completed about my fears about finances and wanting a big family and my fears of trusting in a God that I cannot see.

Right now, my fears have changed to something else.

First. I guess I should say that I have an irrational fear of something bad happening to my husband. I also have an irrational fear of shootings. (When the Virgina Tech shootings happened I was too scared to go to class for a week.) I'm talking paranoid, overactive imagination, scary stuff...

Well you can imagine my utter terror when my husband called me today and told me one of his co-workers was fired after he had an argument with my husband and this man looked at my husband and pointed his finger like a gun and said, "I'm gonna get you."

Ryan is calm and rational about this situation. He is not worried. I, on the other hand, am freaking the hell out. I am terrified beyond belief. I KNOW I will not be able to sleep tonight. I keep thinking that it was a mistake for us to move here and for him to take this job. I can't even type out the words describing my devastation if my husband was ever taken from me. I can't live without him.

I'm sure everything will be fine and I just need a heavy psychotic and some booze and a highly trained therapist to calm me down. But this situation has made me realize I need to step back from blogosphere to actually spend time with my husband. I need to be present with him and my family instead of stuck on my laptop. I'm also dealing with some heavy anxiety and depression over some other things in my life, so it would be best for me to just step back and take a breather.

Like I said, I'm sure I am overreacting and y'all probably think I'm nuts, but please, just pray for my husband that he remains safe. And if you could pray that I don't lose my marbles and for peace of mind, I'd appreciate that too.

I'll be back.