7 Life Lessons I Learned in 2009

Jennifer at Conversion Diary posted her "life lessons" from the year 2009 and I thought it was a great idea for a blog post to wrap up this year. Here are my very own "life lessons" of 2009.

1. Just breathe, and take one step at a time. The beginning of this year was rather hectic. I was planning for our April wedding while finishing up my final semester of college. I was only taking six credit hours, so I thought the next few months would be easy peasy. I was very wrong. My senior seminar thesis class was over John Paul II's Theology of the Body. It was a very intense class and consumed a majority of my time. I was also driving an hour and a half to get to my 8 a.m. class...meaning I had to leave super early in the morning. (In case I haven't told you, I am NOT a morning person! Zombie movies have nothing on me!)

Ryan and I had a rather long engagement so I had a majority of the big details of our wedding taken care of, but little bumps in the road kept creeping up. I was trying to focus on the beautiful sacrament that I was going to take part of, but kept getting majorly stressed out.

The wedding turned out perfectly, but the next few weeks were filled with writing two 20 page research papers, a presentation for my senior seminar, moving three hours away from home to move in with my husband, writing thank you note after thank you note, preparing our new home and getting ready for graduation. I felt like a nomad because I was traveling a couple hundred miles a week to get where I needed to go.

I was overwhelmed quite a bit. I was facing huge life changes all in the time span of a few months. I could have easily had a nervous breakdown, but I learned to focus on one thing at a time. It was easy to get freaked out at all that had to be done, but I just went week by week and tackled what needed to be accomplished. For example, instead of freaking out about decorating for our wedding reception that was three weeks away, I just needed to prepare what I could with the time I had and focus on what was right in front of me (like reading 150 pages of TOB in one night.) When it came to decorating for the reception I felt a little less stressed.

This way of thinking has really helped me in other minor situations that have come up throughout the year!

2. God will help you if you let Him. This fall I suffered a miscarriage. This was a huge heartbreak for both my husband and I. In the past, when something traumatic has happened in my life, I've often either gotten very angry at God and crossed my arms like a toddler and said to Him, "I'm not talking to you!" or I've been so focused on myself that I forget to even turn to Him in my sorrow.

When we lost our baby Gus I ran to God so fast like a little child who just fell and scraped their knee runs to their parent for comfort. I completely opened myself to trust in His Divine plan and rely on his comfort. It was scary to do that, but you know what...it worked. He helped us in ways I cannot number or explain. If I would not have trusted in Him I would still be a mess. Now I wasn't always a pious ray of sunshine during my miscarriage. There were times I seriously wondered what we did to deserve this pain. There are still days I cry, especially this holiday season since I was expecting to be rubbing a very preggo belly while sitting by the Christmas tree. But I can smile now knowing that our St. Gus in up in heaven praying for his mom and dad here on earth. Now isn't that amazing?

3. You can't please everyone. I hate making people mad. I hate causing problems or hard feelings. I hate confrontations. But if I go through life being politically correct or changing what I say to make everyone happy that will make ME unhappy. Especially when it comes to my religious beliefs. There is a particular Bible verse that I always keep in mind. Jesus says, "And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of man also will acknowledge before the angels of God; but he who denies me before men will be denied before the angels of God." (Luke 12:8-9) I've learned I need to gain courage to speak my mind and to defend the glory of God and to trust in the Holy Spirit that He will guide me in what to say and do.

That being said....

4. I need to grow a layer of tough skin. Being Christian isn't easy in today's world. Being Catholic is even harder. There are going to be people that will try and tear apart my faith, disrespect it and fight against it. I could be called horrible names, have people stop talking to me or have my feelings hurt. I have seen people comment on other people's blogs with horrible insults. I've learned I need to prepare myself for the wackos out there who like to cause trouble. There will even be the Catholic-Puritans that accuse me of not being Catholic enough. I am a very sensitive person, so this tough skin will take awhile to grow!

That being said....

5. It is very important to do all things with love. I've often struggled with defending the faith. There are facebook statuses and comments I hear all the time that go against what I believe. What do I do? Say something? Correct someone when they are wrong? I've learned through one of Jennifer's posts on her Conversion Diary blog that sometimes the best thing to do is nothing but pray. Sometimes correcting someone's belief can cause them to go further away from the Truth. People's pride can easily be hurt. Sometimes it's best to let the light of Christ shine through us. If people see that you are a loving and happy person maybe they will be more likely to approach you regarding your beliefs feeling safe and secure. They won't feel like they are being judged or condemned. Another lesson in trust in the Holy Spirit for guidance.

6. Marriage ain't too shabby! Ryan and I were best friends before we started dating. I knew I was going to marry him before we even dated. Transitioning into marriage was fairly easy for us. We have learned that communication is a key ingredient to a healthy marriage. There have been many, many times where we've gotten into a spat, and we are both so stubborn we won't talk it out. I go up to him and say, "We need to talk this out. You go first." He then says, "NO, YOU go first!" and so on and so forth. We end up laughing because we realize how childish we are acting. We have learned not to take ourselves so seriously and to pick our battles.

Natural Family Planning has also been a great blessing to our marriage. It has taught us not to be slaves to sexual pleasure. We see sex for just how awesome and holy it is, both physically and emotionally. There have been times we've wanted to be *ahem* sexually intimate but knew our union could result in a pregnancy. We had discerned that we weren't ready for a baby. But just laying there, him rubbing my back, caressing my face and just talking was amazing. There are times that doing those things are better than a romp in the bed. :-)

7. Prayer works. Really it does! This last part of 2009 has been a struggle. With me being unemployed and Ryan's job not paying very well we've struggled financially. Prayer has strengthened our relationship to not be strained by money problems. Prayer has assured us that everything WILL work out just fine. Things may get worse before they get better, but God never abandons those who seek His help. I've been praying a 54 day Novena (basically praying a rosary every day). It has brought me great comfort and strength. I'm not just saying that in a sugar and sweet, cup half full way. I am a pessimist, but Mary the Mother of God has brought us some amazing graces. And when the bills come and we stress how to handle them, God hands us the grace and blessings to figure everything out.

I hope everyone had a very blessed and wonderful holiday with family and friends. I pray that you all have a very happy and prosperous New Year!