Shame on Me

I have a lot, I mean A LOT of pet peeves.

Unfortunately a lot of them have carried over to my experience during Mass. My brother wrote a very funny blog post about the Top 50 Annoying Things at Mass. A lot of them ring true for me!

Today I was really looking forward to Mass. I have had a crap-tacular week and was really needing some quality God-time. I had read some reflections on this week's Scripture readings, and of course was ready to welcome in the graces by partaking in the Holy Eucharist.

However, when I walked into Mass I realized they were having a Children's Mass. Normally I love these kinds of Masses and truly enjoy them, but today I wasn't really in a Children's Mass kind of mood.

They have a children's choir and I don't know who it is, but there is someone who practically yells out the words of the songs. (I know this is the norm for how kids sing, but this doesn't sound child-like. I'm thinking it is an adult, but I could be wrong.) It's like nails on a chalk board to me.

They always sing the Gloria. The way they sing it is great for kids, but it is one of those ditties that will stick in your head for like a week. *Gloria (clap, clap), Gloria (clap, clap), in excelsis Deo!* (Ahhh...it's back in my head now!)

So instead of enjoying the readings I sat and sulked that I was going to be perpetually annoyed the rest of the Mass, all while STILL having the Gloria stuck in my head. I was grumpy and was mentally and spiritually acting like a three year old. My guardian angel must have given me a nudge because I took a second to actually listen to the Homily. And what the Deacon was preaching about caught my attention.

He said that too many times we wait until we have big issues to deal with or a lot on our plate when we finally fall to our knees to ask God for help. We don't have to wait until we are blind like Bartimaeus to cry out to Christ for help. God is always there for us. God's cell phone always has minutes, always has service. It's on our end where the communication is faulty.

Boy did I feel guilty. I've had a horrible week and have barely reached out to God for help. Instead of asking God for patience during this Children's Mass I just immediately went the pouty-route.

And honestly there wasn't anything for me to really be annoyed at. It's was a Children's Mass for goodness sakes! How beautiful is that! "Whoever welcomes a little child like this, in my name, also welcomes Me." (Matthew 18:5) I sure wasn't being very welcoming.

Finally I made the choice to welcome God's grace and I really did feel it. During the offering these absolutely adorable kids, probably around four or five, brought up the gifts. They were all spiffed-out in their school uniforms and they looked so joyous in bringing up the gifts to our priest. They had big toothy grins and I could honestly see the light of Christ radiating through them.

"Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3) Instead of turning to God with a child-like dependency I turned my back on Him. "Sorry God, I'm just not feelin' it today. I don't need your help."

I started to really pay attention to my surroundings. The church was packed. Even the much-avoided-front row pew was filled. (And it wasn't Christmas, or Easter or a baptism! Shock!) I've been to a couple of Children's Masses there before and I had never seen it so full. How lucky we are to be a part of the Universal Church. I was sitting next to my brothers and sisters in Christ listening to the same readings that we also being heard all over the world. We all were about to celebrate the Eucharist and truly be a part of the Body of Christ. I was with family.

Mass is not about "the show." It's not all about the music, or a dynamic priest who gives awesome sermons, or the amazing architecture. It's about God. We are required to go to Mass. God made this rule not for His own sake- but for our benefit. And there I was, ruining a true "Heaven on Earth" (because that is what Mass is supposed to be) by wallowing in my own self-pity.

I need to learn patience. I need to learn trust. And I need to learn to get used to that Gloria song, because my husband and I are truly blessed to be a part of a very good and devout parish.