7 Quick Takes Friday Vol. 13

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1. I wrote a Memorial Day-type post about my ponderings of life and death. But Memorial Day was created first and foremost to honor our soldiers. My mom sent me this video of soldiers coming home and surprising their loved ones. I bawled.




2. I never really updated y'all on Ryan's interview. He said he felt "OK" about it, he was just really nervous so he thought he could have done better. I'm sure he did an awesome job. You can't help but like my husband. He can make a friend in the grocery store check-out line! Maybe I'm a little biased since I'm his wife, but I think he's a wonderful person! He finds out sometime next week if he got the job or not, so please keep those prayers going!

3. The day after my E.R. visit, I had my regularly scheduled doctor's appointment. He's still slightly concerned that my heart rate is high so he said to rest a lot and drink lots of liquids. I thought I was having a baby, not fighting off a cold! :-D Thankfully my blood pressure is normal. I've been paranoid about pre-ecclampsia but so far, so good!

4. So the Super Bowl is going to be in New York. No covered stadium. The Chiefs have been trying to get the Super Bowl for years and of course New York gets it first. Boo. Maybe this will open the doors for KC to get it in the future!

5. I have a lot of family coming this weekend and I'm really excited! What are you all doing for Memorial Day weekend?

6. My neighbors haven't been annoying me lately! Well... they did start hammering something during the series finale of LOST and both my husband and I about went crazy. Thankfully they stopped!

7. Sorry, folks- I don't have much more to write about! I have a busy day today! Enjoy your weekend!

Pondering Death and Life

This weekend will be a busy one. It's Memorial Day weekend, and nearly every year, a number of my family members come back to the place where we all "began"- my hometown. There is a lot of visiting, family bonding, eating, drinking (in moderation, of course) and laughter. But we also trek on out to Home Cemetery to honor our family members who have passed on before us. Of course, we aren't the only ones. The cemetery is usually full of people putting out flowers and remembering their own loved ones. (I always feel sorry for the dead folks right next to the McAdams plot. They have been gone for many, many years, and no family comes back to visit them. We always have extra flowers, so I decorate their graves too.)

My mom helping my nephew put flowers on his great, great, great grandfather's grave.

Going to cemeteries has never bothered me. My family has been very interested in genealogy for as long as I can remember. We've ventured to long abandoned cemeteries out in the country where our ancestors from a hundred and fifty years ago are laid to rest. We've even had to take a shovel to dig out their headstones that have fallen and are covered with years of soil and grass.

This is my mom and little 5 year old me digging out our ancestor's tombstones!

While looking at the stories of my ancestors, there is one major common denominator- they all died. It makes me think about death. Not in a moody, melancholic, teenager dressed in all black way, but more in a positive, contemplative way. I've been around "death" for awhile. Like I said, I ran around cemeteries as a little kid. While in high school I worked at a flower shop. I did a lot of arrangements for funerals and delivered them to the funeral home. I sang for quite a few funerals as well. The funeral director knew me very well and could even recognize my voice on the phone without me identifying myself. (That still kind of creeps me out.)

I'm used to death, but I still think it is a strange thing. It isn't natural. It wasn't in God's original plan for us to die. (Thanks again for that one, Adam and Eve!) One second someone is alive, the next- they are gone. But nonetheless, it is a part of our lives, no matter what we do about it.

As young people, we spend so much of our time thinking about what our future will be like and planning for it. What career we'll have, who we'll marry, where we'll live, what our children will be like. We exercise and eat healthy to add years to our life. We don't make funeral plans. Death is far from our minds.

On the other hand, older people, those who have lived long and fulfilling lives, do think about their deaths. They pay for their plot and pick out their own casket and headstone. The grandfather of my best friend was practically on death's door this last winter. It was a very hard time for her because she is very close to him. She didn't want to let him go, and what made it even more difficult for her was that he wanted to die. He had lived a good and fulfilling life. His beloved wife had passed on a couple years before him and he so badly wanted to be with her again. But that is something that is hard to grasp for those of us who are still in the prime of life. We don't want our loved ones to go, because we love them so much and want to be with them.

It is kind of a bittersweet feeling when our loved ones die. It is easy for us to forget that the other side is actually a much better place than here on earth. (I'm talking about heaven, of course.) However, we are sad because we want them with us- body and soul. We want to laugh and cry with them, have a conversation with them, be able to touch them. When that is taken away from us, it is a sad time.

I'd like to think that the funerals my family have reflect that. Of course we are sad. That sadness never really goes away. It's been years since my uncles have passed away, and family get-together's aren't the same. Not a family reunion goes by that I miss them and wish they were with us. However, we always celebrate their life. My family always jokes that we put the "fun" in "funeral." I really do believe that there is more laughter than crying when one of our family members dies. We go through pictures, we remember the good times, and we eat good food. We walk away from the event with an empty hole in our heart, since that loved one is gone, yet our heart is happy. A strange combination, I know.

Death can be beautiful. Knowing that our loved one is in perfect happiness, and someday, if we live right, we can be with them in that perfect happiness should bring us comfort. We cannot fathom what perfect happiness is. Imagine the best feeling you've ever had, the happiest day of your life, the most perfect day- and multiply it by infinity. That is what heaven is like. Our loved ones who have gone before us are experiencing that now. We mourn them? It really should be the other way around- they mourn us, for still being here in a non-perfect existence.

As much as I know that life after death is a good thing, I still fear it. I mostly fear my loved ones being taken away from me suddenly. When I think about my mother or husband passing away... well let's just say I know what I would think of if I were an actress and the script called for me to be a blubbering, sobbing mess.

Sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes they are bizarre. Last fall, there was a man who was driving in Colorado, and a huge boulder fell on his car and killed him. Just think if he had driven just a little faster or slower, that might not have happened. I remember discussing this with a friend and she said, "God was ready for him to come home. I just hope I'm always in a ready state for when God calls me to be with Him."

I still couldn't help but think that it seemed like a pointless tragedy. He was a father with very young children. What about those people who die in car crashes? Or who are accidentally shot in a drive-by shooting? Or happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time? I wrestled with these questions for quite a while until I heard Johnette Benkovic speak at a Lenten retreat I went to this past February. She talked about her young soldier son who had just come back from Iraq. If I remember correctly, I believe he had only been home about a week or so when he was tragically killed in a car accident. He had survived living in a territory where thousands of enemy soldiers wanted to kill him, yet when he was "safe" at home, he had died.

This situation is beyond sad, but she said something that really struck me. Even though the accident was tragic, even though she loved her son fiercely, even though she wanted more than anything for him to be alive, she knew God was perfect. His plans for us are perfect. His plan for her son's death was perfect, even though it doesn't seem like it to us. She said God "plucked" her son from this earthly existence at the perfect time. She saw some hints of post traumatic stress disorder when he came home. What if he continued to live on this earth and was haunted every single day by the demons of war? What if he was so depressed he decided to hurt himself? Wouldn't it be better for him to be in perfect happiness with Jesus, than to be beyond miserable on earth, even if it meant Johnette would be able to be with her son?

It made me think about my uncles and grandfather who have passed away. Of course we all prayed for them to be healed and get better. But if God didn't "pluck" them away at the perfect time, would they have suffered more than needed? Would they have been emotionally and phyisically tormented? I think about the three young girls who were killed in a car accident my freshman year of high school. I didn't know the deepest parts of their lives. Perhaps if they would have survived, their lives after the crash would have been miserable. I know these are all "what if's." Like I said, God's original plan for us didn't include death. But through our own sin, and that pesky Satan, we have to deal with it. But God loves us, and makes the bad in our lives good. Jesus Christ has conquered death, so we know that God has made death perfect. We can't wrap our heads around it.

I look forward to this weekend where I can be with my living family and friends, and honor my family that have passed away. But what I look forward to the most, is someday walking through those glorious gates and being welcomed by my family and friends... hopefully after living a long and fulfilling life on earth! I also look forward to "seeing" my future generations come to my gravesite to put out flowers after a fun-filled day of laughter, joy, and simply living.

Crazy Day!

Wow... today has been a crazy day.

This morning I went to visit my Uncle Bob's grave. When I came home I sat down to type out some words for a blog post when all of a sudden I felt very short of breath and had some chest tightening. This has happened before, but it is usually when I'm up and about doing stuff, and it was never to this degree. I started getting an over-all crappy feeling and my heart rate started getting faster and faster. I tried to calm myself down, and immediately Ryan knew something was wrong. He called the doctor, even though I told him not to, and away we went to the emergency room.

I was hooked up to a heart monitor, an IV was started and they gave me oxygen. They kept asking me if I was having contractions. I had no clue! Talk about being freaked out! They even gave me an EKG. All I cared about was if my baby boy was OK. I could feel him moving around, THANK GOD, and they checked his heart rate with a doppler fairly quickly and it was perfect! I definitely calmed down after that. I was a little dehydrated as well, so the fluids helped.

It turns out being short and petite isn't all that awesome. At a couple days shy of 24 weeks I have already run out of room for this little human inside me. Next I suppose he'll start using my bladder as a punching bag. I don't care if I'm short of breath or having to pee every 4 seconds- as long as he is happy and healthy!

I was observed for a little while longer and sent home to rest and drink plenty of fluids. I go in for my regularly scheduled doctor's visit tomorrow, so I'll get to hear baby boy's heartbeat again!I've stayed off the computer most of the day because, well... let's face it- being on the Internet/blogs/Facebook can cause unnecessary stress!

So what I'd really like to blog about tonight is: pray for my husband that he does well on his interview tomorrow morning! Pray that we accept God's will! And pray that I don't have to go to the E.R. again because that was just plain not fun!

7 Quick Takes Friday Vol. 12

1.

Sunday. The End. LOST goes bye-bye. Sigh.....

I am really looking forward to seeing how all the mysteries of this show are solved. I have a feeling they won't be able to answer everything. I sure hope they resolve the big stuff.

I will be really sad when it is all over. It is something I've looked forward to each week. I think I will be lost without LOST!

2.

I really need to start registering for baby gifts. I am officially 6 months preggo, and I really am clueless when people have baby showers. I'm also clueless as to what to register for. I don't know what I really "need" and what I think I need. What products do you spring for the nice name brand and what products can you get by going the cheaper route? I've been looking online for tips, but of course the major results I get are from Babies R Us or Target where they suggest registering for everything in the store. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

3.

I bought one of those prenatal heart monitors. I had read horrible reviews on them, and they say they don't really start working until the 3rd trimester, but I couldn't resist. I can very slightly hear the heartbeat, but mostly hear the thump, thump from the kicks.

I've been able to feel our baby boy kick from the outside for quite awhile. Every time I try and coordinate it for Ryan to feel it, Baby C stops. I started to get a little worried and I kept imagining my son as a little emo child- black hair over his eyes, black nails, saying in some punk teenage voice, "Dad, you are so lame."

But when I put on the monitor, Ryan could hear the kicks. I must have eaten something just right, because Baby Boy was kicking up a storm. So hard that the monitor was moving. I took it off and told Ryan to stare at my stomach. Ryan poked at my tummy and all of a sudden my tummy "poked' back. Ryan was like, "Whoaaaaa...." Then I had him put his hand where the baby had moved and he FINALLY felt his son kick! The look on his face was of pure shock and pure love.

Of course I started crying.

4.

I've been watching A Baby Story on TLC a lot lately. In fact, I'm watching it right now. Maybe that's why it takes so long for me to write a blog post! I need to stop watching them because I cannot wait to meet my son. I want to know what he looks like. Will he have his daddy's nose? Will he eventually have my green eyes, or will he have Ryan's mesmerizing blue eyes?

5.

Sorry my Quick Takes are almost all about baby. I have a boring life and the only excitement comes from the human growing inside me!

6.

The first thing Ryan bought for his son was a pacifier that says "Mute Button." Future Mommy didn't find it funny (OK, maybe she cracked a smile.)

7.

Hopefully y'all haven't fallen asleep reading these. I doubt I write any Quick Takes next week because I will be busy with Memorial Day weekend shindigs. Have a happy weekend everyone!

Go check out Jen's page for more Quick Takes!

Family Ties

My very talented cousin, Megan, snapped this photo of R.C. kissing Baby C at Easter.

Last week I babysat my cousin Amy's three adorable kids: a 5 year old boy (M.C.), a 4 year old girl (C.K.), and another boy R.C., age 2. It was so much fun and they did/said so many cute things that I can't remember them all!

One of the big topics was the baby in my belly. All three of the kids started suggesting names. Some of my favorites were Spider-Man, Elmo and Fred. (My husband is a comic book aficionado so I feared he may become attached to the name Peter Parker Crawford.)

While cooking lunch I felt the baby kick. C.K. was helping me get lunch ready and I told her I felt the baby move. She put her hand on my stomach but Baby C must have lulled back to sleep because there were no more kicks. "Maybe after I eat and sit down for awhile he'll start kicking again." As soon as we were done eating C.K. said, "OK, sit down now!" I sat but still no movement. (Since then I've picked up on his moving patterns. He's going to be a night owl like his Daddy.) The rest of the afternoon C.K. and R.C. would periodically ask, "Is the baby moving yet?" He never did, but I assured them that they will most definitely be able to feel the baby move at our family reunion in July (I will be 30 weeks then!)

I also mentioned to them that the baby could hear them talking. They were amazed by this fact. I had to wipe hormonal tears from my eyes as C.K. went up to my belly button and gently whispered, "Hi Baby."

The rest of the days were filled with sippy cups, PB&J sandwiches, changing into Spider-Man and Incredible Hulk costumes, and playing, playing, playing! As I sat there watching them play "Baby," a game consisting of tucking each other in on their trampoline, I thought back a couple years when my brother's children were a lot younger and I used to babysit them.

It dawned on me that it is mostly because of my family that I have had a strong desire to be a mother and have my own family.

I think the first family factor that caused this desire was my mom and her siblings. I never did experience what it was like growing up with siblings. I have an older brother, so I'm not an only child; however, since he is thirteen years older than me I was basically raised as an only child. But hearing my mom and her brothers reminisce of their childhood memories and seeing how they joked and bonded, it made me long for more siblings. That longing carried over into the desire to start my own family and memories.

Then when I was eleven years old, my brother and his wife welcomed into the world their first child. It blew my little pre-adolescent mind. My brother helped bring a new life into existence- wow. I was worried that I would feel jealous that I was no longer Jamie's #1 Little Girl, but I wasn't. Now I was Aunt Maggie, and my heart grew that day. It grew even larger as Jamie and Abby added two more kiddos to their family.

I absolutely loved babysitting my nieces and nephew. I learned at an early age how to deal with stinky diapers, screaming tantrums, and watching Winnie the Pooh over and over and over again! But with the challenges of watching over small children came the rewards. The hugs, the kisses, the cuddle time, smiles and laughs. There were also those cute things they said that just made me chuckle and also stop in amazement at how wise children can be. There is the look of pure joy at their birthday parties and at Christmas that is so infectious you can't help but be excited as well.

Now Jamie's kiddos are growing up way too fast. His oldest graduated from 8th grade this week, and that makes me feel old! His middle child is on that see-saw of being a little kid and a young man. His youngest is still young enough to cuddle with me and think the things I say are funny, but I still see traces of the future teenage girl she will someday turn into!

Now I get to somewhat re-live those adorable little kid moments through my cousin's children. I don't get to see them very often, but when I do, it is always a treat! I remembering being excited when Amy started having children, because seeing all the new changes that were going on her life made me excited to start my own family someday. I really admired how my cousin and her husband wanted their children to be close in age and didn't care that the norm of society was to have just 2 kids or less.

Looking at the big picture now, I really admire all of my family and how they have raised their kids. I especially look up to my female cousins and how they have raised their children into really wonderful people. I hope I can follow their example! Our whole family is so full of love that I can't help but want that love to spill over into my own family.

If I can love my brother's children as much as I do, and enjoy spending time playing hide and seek with my cousin's children as I do, how much will I love my very own children? I know that taking care of other people's kiddos isn't the same as taking care of your own, and I haven't yet felt that joy. I will soon enough, and I cannot wait! If I get as much joy as I do with my family, how much more joy will I get when I am with my very own family that my husband and I, with the grace of God, helped create?

I can't wait for what the future holds for my little growing family. And I thank my family I have now for giving me memories and life lessons that I will definitely carry into my own journey of parenthood.

Prayers Please!

This past weekend was extremely busy for me. I spent most of it away from home, staying at my in-laws. You know that warm, fuzzy feeling of coming home after being away? Well, I didn't feel that when I came back to our apartment....

I was looking forward to sitting in "my chair" and relaxing. But my neighbor started working on his 3-wheeler. All I heard was VROOM, VROOM, VROOOOOOM every 5 minutes. I sighed, shut the window to drown out the noise and offered up my annoyances for the poor suffering souls in purgatory.

Then Ryan and I took our dog out to go potty and Chandler bolted towards the side of the house. Thankfully Ryan caught him before he started to sniff/eat the HUMAN THROW-UP on the side of the building. I won't go into detail, but trust me... this came gunk came from a person, considering every time we see our neighbor Joe he has a beer in his hand and is drunk.

That night while we prayed, I picked a special intention prayer asking God to lead us to the next location in our life- SOON! Ryan had applied for a new job the week before, so we prayed that something would work out with that.

Then.... the morning came. I have trouble sleeping because I'm carrying a small human inside me and it's hard to get comfortable. At 7:15 a.m. I was zapped from my finally-comfortable slumber by my neighbor WORKING ON HIS 3-WHEELER!

I WAS BEYOND ANGRY.

I am NOT a morning person. Ever. Especially after a crappy night's sleep. ESPECIALLY since my hormones are way out of control. I know that I joke about being a Darth Pregger/Preg-zilla sometimes... but there was no "ha ha" moment here.

This may be somewhat of an exaggeration (or perhaps not...) but this clip from the TV show V is kind of how I felt when I was woken up. (Imagine Anna was just woken up, not that her "soldiers" have been destroyed. It's hilarious!)

I stormed to the door while yelling varied expletives and ripped it open. Lucky for him, he had driven off down our very long driveway. He had escaped my wrath.... for now.

I went back to bed, but of course I couldn't sleep. I stared at the ceiling and had a conversation with God. I was almost in tears. I was tired and beat down. I very much wanted to love my neighbor, but it felt impossible. I kept thinking about what life would be like when our son was born. I want him to see his mother as kind, happy and at peace instead of a raging, crazy, angry lady.

I looked over at my sleeping husband. "God, please let him get this job." He loves his job now, and this job he applied for would be more of a promotion. He'd have better working hours which would be great for when our baby arrives. I hate seeing the look on his face when he has to miss out on yet another family event. He has so much to offer in his work, and the position he has now is kind of limiting. "He deserves the best. He deserves the best job ever. He works so hard." I told God.

We have been praying for awhile that God lead us to the next chapter in our lives. Surprisingly, we've been patient. It has taken me years to learn that God works on his own time, not Maggie Time. It may seem like he's not listening, but I know eventually we would get our answer.

Well... yesterday, we got part of that answer.

Ryan has an interview on Tuesday! Sure, he might not get the job, but being asked to come for an interview is a wonderful sign!

So I have some prayer requests to ask of you wonderful people. First of all, pray that I don't slash the tires of my neighbor's 3-wheeler. But more importantly, please pray that Ryan's interview goes well. Pray that we accept God's will, no matter what the outcome! Thanks, y'all!

Satan: He's a Smooth Operator

I love scary movies. Well, I guess I should say I used to love scary movies. I still enjoy them, but it seems the movies they come out with nowadays have A) way too much graphic violence and sex or B) stupid, corny plots. It has been quite awhile since I've watched a good quality scary movie. Oh well.

However, there is one type of scary movie that scares the living crud out of me, and that is movies about Satan and demonic possession. After watching movies like that I practically sleep with the lights on with a rosary around my neck. Why do I freak out so much? Because evil like that actually exists. A man that kills you in your dreams (Freddy Krueger)... not so much.

Many times when we think of Satan we think of a very scary being. We think of a black-eyed demon, a gigantic monster with fire and a pitchfork, or a giant dragon. We think of death, decay, darkness and ugliness. We want to stay away from such unpleasantries. Because of all these horrid things it is easy for us to say we reject Satan and all his works.

However, that isn't always how Satan works. He knows that if he always portrays himself as scary and evil then it will be much harder to tempt us into sin. He disguises his ugliness into beauty- his evil into goodness.

That is one reason I enjoy the book The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. The book contains letters written by a senior demon named Screwtape to his nephew Wormwood, a demon-in-training. The letters contain advice on how to get Wormwood's "Patient" (an ordinary British man) to turn away from God and to enter into Satan's service.

Screwtape doesn't advise using the usual diabolical and wicked ways of tempting the Patient into evil. Instead he says, "...the safest path to hell is the gradual one." The way to do that is to be cunning, to confuse and corrupt.

A couple months ago my brother wrote an excellent post on how we must always be aware that the devil is among us and the slight, cunning ways he uses to tempt us. He tempts us by believing we have the right to make up our own truths, by putting doubts in our minds about the Truth God has revealed, and even by making us think that He, the Devil, doesn't exist and neither does Hell.

Satan also tempts us by turning what is beautiful into something ugly. It is hard to picture Satan being beautiful. But we have to remember that he was an angel, one of God's most glorious creations, before he turned wicked. There is a Bible passage in Ezekiel that is used to describe the evil King of Tyre, but is more commonly attributed to Satan:

"And the word of the Lord came to me, saying: Son of man, take up a lamentation upon the king of Tyre: And say to him: Thus says the Lord God: You were the seal of resemblance, full of wisdom, and perfect in beauty. You were in the pleasures of the paradise of God: every precious stone was your covering: the sardius, the topaz, and the jasper, the chrysolite, and the onyx, and the beryl, the sapphire, and the carbuncle, and the emerald: gold the work of your beauty: and your pipes were prepared in the day that you were created. You a cherub stretched out, and protecting, and I set you in the holy mountain of God, you have walked in the midst of the stones of fire. You were perfect in your ways from the day of your creation, until iniquity was found in you." - Ezekiel 28: 11-15

Think about the good and beautiful things in life that Satan has warped. For example: sex. Sex is an awesome and holy thing. (If you just read the Bible and read some writings of the popes regarding sex, you will learn that Catholics love sex. Hard to believe, I know... but it's better to go straight to the source rather than lame-stream media or to people who don't know what they are talking about.) God made sex to be amazing. If having sex was like clipping one's toenails then His whole command of "Be fruitful and multiply" might not have panned out.

But look at how Satan using our Fallen Nature has warped the beautiful act of sex. Now having sex is more of a means of getting pleasure for oneself rather than giving your whole being to your beloved. Sex has ripped apart marriages and families because of extramarital affairs. Sex has ripped apart the self-worth of a woman when a man rapes her. Sex has also confused young men and women when they engage in sex at young ages with multiple partners. It shouldn't be like that.

Look at the good of food. We need food for survival. And God has given us delicious food so that we can enjoy it. But Satan whispers in our ear that we can become gluttons. Who cares if we become obese and start suffering from life-threatening diseases as long as we can eat whatever we want, how ever much we want, whenever we want.

Look at the good of money and material things. There is nothing wrong with money as long as we've come into it by working honestly and not stealing it. There is nothing wrong with having a bunch of money as long as we use it to help the poor as well and live in moderation. But the good of money is probably one of the easiest things Satan can tempt us in. Golly, I've been working so hard, I think I deserve to replace our old car, even though it still works perfectly fine. But the wife and I have been thinking about having another baby. But man... a new car would be so nice right now. Having a few extra bucks after paying the bills would be wonderful. I think having just a little bit of financial abundance would be more beneficial to us than bringing a new soul into the world. Finances and material things can sometimes cause a shift in priorities.

Money has caused greed, wars, murder. It has caused jealousy and malice. Food and gluttony has caused life-ending diseases and yet there are still people in this world dying of starvation. Sex can cause unspeakable emotional and physical damage. Just like the Devil may be beautiful on the outside, his inner being is twisted and corrupt. He does this to the good things in life. He can make the beautiful and good things of sex, money, food, etc. into twisted and dark aspects of our lives.

So yes, we need to be vigilant, like my brother writes about. We should use wisdom and prudence to avoid the dark and dangerous. We should also use that wisdom and prudence to really know and understand the good things in life and to keep them good instead of letting Satan tempt and befuddle us.

Most importantly of all, we should always rely on the goodness and Truth God has revealed to us. We should rely on the protection of His love and the protection of the angels and saints in heaven. It is His purpose that we are happy, loved and safe... and at peace.