Family Ties

My very talented cousin, Megan, snapped this photo of R.C. kissing Baby C at Easter.

Last week I babysat my cousin Amy's three adorable kids: a 5 year old boy (M.C.), a 4 year old girl (C.K.), and another boy R.C., age 2. It was so much fun and they did/said so many cute things that I can't remember them all!

One of the big topics was the baby in my belly. All three of the kids started suggesting names. Some of my favorites were Spider-Man, Elmo and Fred. (My husband is a comic book aficionado so I feared he may become attached to the name Peter Parker Crawford.)

While cooking lunch I felt the baby kick. C.K. was helping me get lunch ready and I told her I felt the baby move. She put her hand on my stomach but Baby C must have lulled back to sleep because there were no more kicks. "Maybe after I eat and sit down for awhile he'll start kicking again." As soon as we were done eating C.K. said, "OK, sit down now!" I sat but still no movement. (Since then I've picked up on his moving patterns. He's going to be a night owl like his Daddy.) The rest of the afternoon C.K. and R.C. would periodically ask, "Is the baby moving yet?" He never did, but I assured them that they will most definitely be able to feel the baby move at our family reunion in July (I will be 30 weeks then!)

I also mentioned to them that the baby could hear them talking. They were amazed by this fact. I had to wipe hormonal tears from my eyes as C.K. went up to my belly button and gently whispered, "Hi Baby."

The rest of the days were filled with sippy cups, PB&J sandwiches, changing into Spider-Man and Incredible Hulk costumes, and playing, playing, playing! As I sat there watching them play "Baby," a game consisting of tucking each other in on their trampoline, I thought back a couple years when my brother's children were a lot younger and I used to babysit them.

It dawned on me that it is mostly because of my family that I have had a strong desire to be a mother and have my own family.

I think the first family factor that caused this desire was my mom and her siblings. I never did experience what it was like growing up with siblings. I have an older brother, so I'm not an only child; however, since he is thirteen years older than me I was basically raised as an only child. But hearing my mom and her brothers reminisce of their childhood memories and seeing how they joked and bonded, it made me long for more siblings. That longing carried over into the desire to start my own family and memories.

Then when I was eleven years old, my brother and his wife welcomed into the world their first child. It blew my little pre-adolescent mind. My brother helped bring a new life into existence- wow. I was worried that I would feel jealous that I was no longer Jamie's #1 Little Girl, but I wasn't. Now I was Aunt Maggie, and my heart grew that day. It grew even larger as Jamie and Abby added two more kiddos to their family.

I absolutely loved babysitting my nieces and nephew. I learned at an early age how to deal with stinky diapers, screaming tantrums, and watching Winnie the Pooh over and over and over again! But with the challenges of watching over small children came the rewards. The hugs, the kisses, the cuddle time, smiles and laughs. There were also those cute things they said that just made me chuckle and also stop in amazement at how wise children can be. There is the look of pure joy at their birthday parties and at Christmas that is so infectious you can't help but be excited as well.

Now Jamie's kiddos are growing up way too fast. His oldest graduated from 8th grade this week, and that makes me feel old! His middle child is on that see-saw of being a little kid and a young man. His youngest is still young enough to cuddle with me and think the things I say are funny, but I still see traces of the future teenage girl she will someday turn into!

Now I get to somewhat re-live those adorable little kid moments through my cousin's children. I don't get to see them very often, but when I do, it is always a treat! I remembering being excited when Amy started having children, because seeing all the new changes that were going on her life made me excited to start my own family someday. I really admired how my cousin and her husband wanted their children to be close in age and didn't care that the norm of society was to have just 2 kids or less.

Looking at the big picture now, I really admire all of my family and how they have raised their kids. I especially look up to my female cousins and how they have raised their children into really wonderful people. I hope I can follow their example! Our whole family is so full of love that I can't help but want that love to spill over into my own family.

If I can love my brother's children as much as I do, and enjoy spending time playing hide and seek with my cousin's children as I do, how much will I love my very own children? I know that taking care of other people's kiddos isn't the same as taking care of your own, and I haven't yet felt that joy. I will soon enough, and I cannot wait! If I get as much joy as I do with my family, how much more joy will I get when I am with my very own family that my husband and I, with the grace of God, helped create?

I can't wait for what the future holds for my little growing family. And I thank my family I have now for giving me memories and life lessons that I will definitely carry into my own journey of parenthood.