The End of Breastfeeding

I has been two weeks since I have breastfed Joe. Our nursing relationship has come to an end, and it ended the way I wanted: peacefully.

I mentioned in this post a while back that I was really starting to resent nursing. I had been planning on weaning before this next baby is born, because I really don't think I can handle tandem nursing. However, I was hoping that Joe would kind of initiate the weaning process. I felt like a horrible mother for taking away the breast and we had had such an awesome nursing bond all the way through until those last few weeks and I didn't want it to end on a sour note. But it needed to be done because I wasn't getting any rest and and it was starting to affect my mothering.

Two changes happened- he transitioned into his crib well and we stopped sleeping in the same room as him. He still wakes up once or twice during the night but usually puts himself back to sleep. If he doesn't, then it is my husband who goes in and soothes him for a minute or two and makes sure he has his binky (that will be another addiction to break soon....) So I've actually been getting a full night's sleep!!!!! Halleluiah, praise the Lord!!!!!

I wanted to wean him slowly, so I would nurse him before he would go to bed and then again before I hit the sack. But then I cut it down to just before he went to sleep. Then I got sick for a few days and was usually in bed before he was. I thought we'd experiment to see if he would totally freak out not having any nursing time, but he did awesome. No crying, no nothing. I could have just kept going on not nursing him, but I'm selfish and still wanted a few more days to savor our breastfeeding relationship. Every time I nursed him he'd turn his head to look at his Daddy and wave and giggle. It became a kind of peek a boo game.

The last night we nursed Ryan wasn't there at all. He had to bar tend at an open house event at his work so I put him to bed by myself. I turned down the lights, put his lullaby music on and laid on the bed to nurse. He nursed for 3 minutes and was ready to read his bedtime story. He wasn't interested in nursing at all.

It's weird not nursing anymore. Joe has always been a marathon nurser. I know it won't be too much longer when I have the chance to nurse again, but I still miss it. I am so happy that we were both ready to move on and that chapter of our relationship was closed with peace.

There are times that he still grabs at my shirt and tres to lift it up. It's very rare, but it happens. He doesn't throw a fit when I say that nursing has gone night night.

It's crazy to see how much he has grown up. In a few days he'll hit the year and a half mark. I just can't believe it. He can interact more with us. He's jabbering away and saying SOMETHING... we just have no clue what it is. He's running, climbing, screaming, and is definitely his own little person.

Yes, that's a St. Patrick's Day beer mug in his hand!

I've been printing off pictures of when Joe was first born and I can't believe how far we've BOTH come. I look at the pictures of me and I just remember how scared crapless I was. How unsure I was. I still don't have everything figured out, but I feel a tad more confident now.



I'm thankful for our breastfeeding relationship. It has helped us out both tremendously these past 17 months. I'm praying that our next little blessing and I will have a great nursing bond as well.