I Dread Lent

Every year it happens. About a week before Ash Wednesday the stirrings of "What am I going to give up for Lent?" begin on Facebook. Then, on Mardi Gras, Facebook explodes with profile pictures of "Off Facebook for Lent" and "Goodbye chocolate!" statuses. Not just from Catholics- there are a lot of our Protestant brothers and sisters who give up something for Lent as well. I always thought Lent was a Catholic thang.

Then come the statuses from my friends who are destined to be saints. "Yay Lent!"

To that I want to say, "Are you crazy?!"

I wish I could be like my friends and look to Lent with joy and anticipation. It is a time the Church gave us to grow in holiness and to grow closer to Christ. We should always be doing that, but, Mother knows best- she knows our weaknesses and knows we need a massive spiritual boost oooh... about twice a year.

But what do I see? Lent = dread.

NO MEAT ON FRIDAYS. I am a meat girl. For realz. The only time I ever considered being a vegetarian was when I learned that Jonathan Taylor Thomas was a vegetarian and if I was going to ever marry him I better get used to not eating meat.

Oh, JTT. Don't judge me, people.

That lasted about 43 minutes.

I LOVE my meat. Mmm- MMMM! I eat it everyday. It is so tender. It is so juicy and delicious... Wow. I seriously just zoned out for about 1 minute thinking about meat. I better stop writing about it.

Needless to say, it is hard for me to give up meat. Ironically when I was a student at Benedictine I gave up meat FOR ALL OF LENT. I was much holier then. Not sure what happened to me. I know there are plenty of other things to eat besides meat, but I'm picky. I'm not a big fish fan (except for Long John Silver's fish and fish sticks, but I'm usually laughed at when I say this is the only fish I like.) And those crappy vegetarian meals just don't cut it for me.

I HATE fasting. I love to eat. Snacking is my downfall. I'm not sure if I would have survived back in the day where you couldn't eat anything ALL DAY. That's why old people are holier than us young heathens.

So that's the two major things that bum me out during Lent. But then there are the boring churches. No decorations. Sometimes the statues are covered up. Yes, yes, before you start in- I know all that external stuff is just extra stuff to aid in worship, and half the time I don't even notice it. But when Lent rolls around the difference just stands out to me. Everything is so blah. I feel spiritually blah. The weather outside is blah, no flowers, no color... Lent is just blah. So when the sanctuary is blah, and there is no Gloria or Alleluia sung I feel... lackluster.

Then there is that whole penance thing. Lent is about penance. As a prideful, sinful person, penance is hard. As a person who wants everything to be easy, penance is REALLY hard. I know that I need it, but it's like exercising. I know I need to do it, it's good for you, helps you out in the long run, but I'm lazy. Simple as that.

When I see my friends' Facebook statuses that read "Yay Lent!" or "I love Lent!" I just scratch my head. Is Lent really to be enjoyed? Denying oneself is not easy. But then I remember the Bible verse:

"Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. ... But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face." -Matthew 6:16-17

I know my friends know that Lent isn't all sunshine and unicorn glitter. They know it will be hard. Their mouth will salivate when they smell their neighbors grilling steaks on a Friday night. But they have anointed their heads and washed their face. They put on the face of joy and not complaining. That's why they will go to heaven right away and I'll burn in the purifying fires of Purgatory for 900 million years.

Maybe I get so pissy and bitter because I always hope that I'll have some spiritual Renaissance happen to me. I'll finally battle through this spiritual darkness that I've struggled with for the past couple of years. But in the end it is still the same. Nothing has changed. That is just something I will have to work on and pray through.

Why do I even bother doing all this jazz during Lent? As much as I complain I do follow the standards. So why?

Because I love Jesus and I love the Catholic Church. Jesus was tortured, mocked, humiliated, stripped, spat upon, beaten, had huge thorns pierced into his scalp, screamed at by hundreds, had nails driven through his wrists and feet and hung on a cross to die. He didn't die by bleeding to death. He died by slowing suffocating. All this for hours upon hours. As he sees his closest friends abandoning him. As he sees the people who just days before welcomed him into the city as a king now cursing at him and laughing at him.

All this for me. For you.

So of COURSE I can give up meat and gorging myself all day. I really need to stop complaining. All these things we do reminds us of Jesus. These actions remind us that it isn't just food that nourishes us. It is God. Going without food reminds us of the hungry- that we must care for all God's children. Giving up meat and sweets or caffeine reminds us of sacrifice. It helps us to remember the ultimate sacrifice that Christ made for us.

The Church wants what is best for us. That is why she has these guidelines. They are to help us, not hurt us. Why not take advantage of the gifts the Church has given us to grow closer in our relationship with God?

Lent is kind of like our time here on earth. It can be drab and dark. But there is good and growing in it as well. Our time on earth is leading up to our final home in heaven, just as Lent leads up to the glory of Easter. The days get longer, full of sunshine, the flowers begin to bloom, the grass pokes through the barren, cold soil and there is glory and life. Easter comes and in the blah sanctuary is an explosion of pure white lilies, the statues are uncovered to show the holy men and women of heaven and we can finally sing alleluia.

Lent is good. I just need to stop acting all Adam and Eve-ish with that pesky Original Sin and start looking to Jesus.

Praying that you all have a very blessed Lent!