First of all, I have to say this- I loved being pregnant. Even towards the end when I was a giant, swollen, pregnant blob, I loved it. I loved seeing my belly grow and my belly button disappear. I loved feeling the kicks and the hiccups of the miracle growing inside me. I was in awe of seeing my body change to accommodate this new life. I wasn’t really afraid of anything with this pregnancy. I knew there’d be unbelievable pain during delivery. I wasn’t really afraid of getting gestational diabetes. I wasn’t afraid of gaining weight. There was, however, one aspect of pregnancy I was hoping to avoid:
PRE-ECLAMPSIA!
The first time I had ever heard of this was when one of my best friends, H, was pregnant. My other best friend, A, who happened to be an OB nurse and H’s housemate, was extremely worried because she knew what complications could develop.
It was a close family member who really got me scared of pre-eclampsia. She frequently told me stories of her battle with toxemia and the emergency c-section with her first born. I won’t go into details, but these stories made me beg and pray I wouldn’t get high blood pressure.
The first 20 weeks of my pregnancy were relatively smooth. I gained weight, but not too much. In fact, I think it was the “recommended” allowance. Toward the end of those 20 weeks the only bump along the road was the one time I went to the E.R. because I was dehydrated and my heart rate was elevated. It remained elevated the following day when I saw my doctor and although he was slightly concerned, he told me to take it easy and nothing else was said.
This was taken when I was about 1 month pregnant.
Around 13 weeks preggo. I started showing early. Since I have such a short torso there's only one way for the baby to go- OUT!
Here we are at 19 weeks. No swelling yet!Things went downhill towards the end of June when we packed up our apartment and moved to a house. Ryan’s schedule was all sorts of jacked up, so I was the one who did most of the unpacking and organizing. Sure, I could have left it for when he was there to help me, but I just CANNOT live in unorganized chaos! Plus, our family reunion was coming up soon and I didn’t want to come back to an unpacked, cluttered home.
I went into a cleaning/organizing frenzy. That was probably the closest I got to nesting. But the heat and the constant on my feet got to me. Ryan would come home from work and gasp and be in shock at the state of my ankles. He would make me sit down with my feet up. Of course, I’m stubborn and a clean freak so that didn’t last long. The swelling got so bad that I had to buy a bigger size of sandals!
I had made the mistake a few months prior of volunteering to organize the theme and activities for our family reunion. No one would have cared if I did a half-@ss job, but me, being the perfectionist that I am, strove for organization and fun for all ages. I organized games which I had to get supplies for, I made candy bags, decorated coozies, all while trying to unpack a house and gestate. And of course things didn’t slow down while at the reunion. I was on my feet A LOT. Both my mom and husband constantly urged me to sit down and relax but I had to be in control and make sure I did everything myself. Even my brother who loves to tease me (he loved to joke with me earlier in my pregnancy about me “getting fat”) said he wasn’t going to make fun of me because my ankles looked too painful.
As you can see… it got pretty bad.
Photo Credit: Cassie RileyThis was taken about 2 weeks before the family reunion
Just call me Ginormica
Holy swollen ankles, Batman!
These photos were from my baby shower. I swear I really did enjoy my gifts, despite my look of unhappiness!After the reunion things really went downhill. I just kept getting more and more swollen. However, my blood pressure was always just right when I would go in for my doctor’s appointments. My doctor would tell me to rest my feet but never mentioned anything else when it came to my blood pressure.
It was around the time of my baby showers that I saw just how bad I was getting. I looked at the photos taken of me and couldn’t believe my eyes. I was practically unrecognizable. In the photos where I thought I was smiling really big I looked like I was grimacing. My nose even looked swollen, even though Ryan assured me that it wasn’t. (The day I was induced my doc said that he knew I was in bad shape because my nose was “enlarged.” I said to Ryan, “SEE! I told you my nose was getting bigger!)
I felt EXTREMELY self-conscience about my appearance. I knew I looked horrible. I knew people took one look at my ankles and just thought “Wow.” or "Ewww." Thankfully most people kept their mouths shut. Unfortunately, there would be a comment here and there that would really get under my swollen skin. There was one time at BBQ at my in-law’s where a family friend came up to me and said, ‘Oh, Maggie! I didn’t recognize you! Your face is so full!” Ummm… thanks?
It was around the time of my baby showers that I saw just how bad I was getting. I looked at the photos taken of me and couldn’t believe my eyes. I was practically unrecognizable. In the photos where I thought I was smiling really big I looked like I was grimacing. My nose even looked swollen, even though Ryan assured me that it wasn’t. (The day I was induced my doc said that he knew I was in bad shape because my nose was “enlarged.” I said to Ryan, “SEE! I told you my nose was getting bigger!)
I felt EXTREMELY self-conscience about my appearance. I knew I looked horrible. I knew people took one look at my ankles and just thought “Wow.” or "Ewww." Thankfully most people kept their mouths shut. Unfortunately, there would be a comment here and there that would really get under my swollen skin. There was one time at BBQ at my in-law’s where a family friend came up to me and said, ‘Oh, Maggie! I didn’t recognize you! Your face is so full!” Ummm… thanks?
This was taken about a week before I was induced. Me in all my pregnant glory.It was 2 weeks before my due date when I went in for my doctor’s appointment. I had to do the whole pee-in-a-cup deal which was what I did at every visit and (TMI alert!) my pee looked kind of funky. I was then weighed and noticed I had seriously gained 5 lbs in one week which is a sign of pre-eclampsia. I knew this wouldn’t be good. The nurse took my blood pressure and said it was a little high. I had to go into a back room with recliners and get hooked up to a blood pressure machine and a fetal monitor.
Thankfully Joe was healthy and happy. However, my blood pressure was through the roof. They kept asking me if was having headaches or seeing spots (which are other big signs of high blood pressure) but in all honesty- I felt perfectly fine. I didn’t even feel anxious!
My blood pressure did not go down so I was sent for observation at the hospital’s labor and delivery. They checked me every 15 minutes and my blood pressure would not go down. Finally, an induction was ordered because my blood pressure was so high.
My blood pressure did not go down so I was sent for observation at the hospital’s labor and delivery. They checked me every 15 minutes and my blood pressure would not go down. Finally, an induction was ordered because my blood pressure was so high.
Right before my c-section. Budda Maggie is what I like to call this pose.
Holding Joe for the first time. Look at those gorilla fingers....It was so high they put me on magnesium sulfate to prevent me from going into seizures. That was the devil’s juice! It might have prevented me from seizing, but my blood pressure still remained high.
They kept asking me over and over again if I was experiencing headaches or was seeing spots. I really felt fine. I was getting anxious about my induction failing, but that was about it. Thankfully, throughout this whole ordeal, Joe was doing great inside me. His heart rate remained perfect and he was just swimming along all happy and care free. Thank the Lord for that!
They say that the cure for pre-eclampsia is delivery of the baby. That wasn’t so for me. My blood pressure was still through the roof after Joe was born. I remember it being 200/90 at one time. People were starting to get worried. I was getting annoyed at having my blood pressure taken all the time. They kept saying they might have to put me back on the magnesium sulfate and I was pleading with God not to let happen. I tried to relax and think happy thoughts but it never worked. There was even one time I kept saying in my head, “Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I trust in You.” and my blood pressure still remained high. Everyone worrying about me made me fret. How on earth was I going to be able to take care of my new baby if I couldn’t take care of myself?
With everyone worrying about me I started to freak. I kept thinking, “Oh my gosh, could I die? What if have a seizure?’ I wanted this to be a happy occasion. I wanted the attention to go to my new baby and not me and my blasted blood pressure. This was not the experience I wanted. I had never before been this sick, or had a serious illness or even had been in the hospital. Why now was my body going all crazy-like on me?
They tried all sorts of medication and nothing worked. I could see the frustration and worry in the nurses eyes. Was my heart destined to explode? At this point I didn’t care about the swelling and how much I looked like a Beluga whale; I just wanted my ticker to function properly.
Finally 6 days after I was admitted it was time for me to leave the hospital. I was more than ready to get out of there, but the thought of being away from a medical facility in case something bad did happen really scared me. I think the first time I really felt my blood pressure spiking was when the nurse was giving me discharge instructions.
Thankfully my mom and husband were there to take care of me while I struggled to take care of my son. I had an appointment with my doctor a few days after I was discharged and while my blood pressure was still high, it was a lot lower than it was in the hospital. The Procardia medication was doing its job.
The doctor told me it could 6 weeks for my blood pressure to settle down. When Joe was 3 weeks old for grins I went to a blood pressure machine at Wal-Mart and checked to see how bad I was. I was back to normal! When I went in for my 6 week post-partum check up my doctor and nurse practically high-fived over my perfect blood pressure. My doctor was almost giddy. I didn’t have to continue the Procardia and life was back to normal. (Kind of.)
Slowly the swelling went down. One good thing about pre-e is I lost 40 lbs in 5 days. That was a lot of peeing and sweating!
LOOKING BACK
Looking back, I see how serious the situation was. I hate having that kind of attention. People kept saying after Joe was born, “Oh gosh, I KNEW your blood pressure was bad.” And others made comments about how swollen I was. I know these people mean well, but these comments just make me feel like crap. I feel like they think I was a fool for going to a doctor who didn’t catch this earlier. I feel like they are now free to tell me how big I was. People, I KNOW how big I was; you don’t have to remind me. I try to have a sense of humor about it, and poke fun of myself, but when others joke, my sensitive nature kicks in.
I have seen some of my facebook friends who have gone though the same thing I have. One girl had her friends call her legs tree trunks and balloon animals. I’m sure she’s not as sensitive as me, but those comments would have truly pissed me off. I know people weren’t being 100% honest with me when they said I looked beautiful as a swollen pregnant person, but I still appreciate them trying to make me feel better.
Pre-e can be a onetime deal and the chances of it happening in a first-time pregnancy are higher than following pregnancies. I pray to God I don’t have to go through this again. I have read where you can pop a baby aspirin a day during pregnancy and that can stave off pre-eclampsia, so I will definitely keep that in mind. I’m also going to try very hard to control my diet, exercise more, and drink like 400 oz. of water a day.
Pre-eclampsia was a pain, both physically and emotionally. Basically- it sucked. But it has taught me that I am not in total control of my body. AND it has taught me to appreciate my ankle bones and knee caps!
They kept asking me over and over again if I was experiencing headaches or was seeing spots. I really felt fine. I was getting anxious about my induction failing, but that was about it. Thankfully, throughout this whole ordeal, Joe was doing great inside me. His heart rate remained perfect and he was just swimming along all happy and care free. Thank the Lord for that!
They say that the cure for pre-eclampsia is delivery of the baby. That wasn’t so for me. My blood pressure was still through the roof after Joe was born. I remember it being 200/90 at one time. People were starting to get worried. I was getting annoyed at having my blood pressure taken all the time. They kept saying they might have to put me back on the magnesium sulfate and I was pleading with God not to let happen. I tried to relax and think happy thoughts but it never worked. There was even one time I kept saying in my head, “Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I trust in You.” and my blood pressure still remained high. Everyone worrying about me made me fret. How on earth was I going to be able to take care of my new baby if I couldn’t take care of myself?
With everyone worrying about me I started to freak. I kept thinking, “Oh my gosh, could I die? What if have a seizure?’ I wanted this to be a happy occasion. I wanted the attention to go to my new baby and not me and my blasted blood pressure. This was not the experience I wanted. I had never before been this sick, or had a serious illness or even had been in the hospital. Why now was my body going all crazy-like on me?
They tried all sorts of medication and nothing worked. I could see the frustration and worry in the nurses eyes. Was my heart destined to explode? At this point I didn’t care about the swelling and how much I looked like a Beluga whale; I just wanted my ticker to function properly.
Finally 6 days after I was admitted it was time for me to leave the hospital. I was more than ready to get out of there, but the thought of being away from a medical facility in case something bad did happen really scared me. I think the first time I really felt my blood pressure spiking was when the nurse was giving me discharge instructions.
Thankfully my mom and husband were there to take care of me while I struggled to take care of my son. I had an appointment with my doctor a few days after I was discharged and while my blood pressure was still high, it was a lot lower than it was in the hospital. The Procardia medication was doing its job.
The doctor told me it could 6 weeks for my blood pressure to settle down. When Joe was 3 weeks old for grins I went to a blood pressure machine at Wal-Mart and checked to see how bad I was. I was back to normal! When I went in for my 6 week post-partum check up my doctor and nurse practically high-fived over my perfect blood pressure. My doctor was almost giddy. I didn’t have to continue the Procardia and life was back to normal. (Kind of.)
Slowly the swelling went down. One good thing about pre-e is I lost 40 lbs in 5 days. That was a lot of peeing and sweating!
LOOKING BACK
Looking back, I see how serious the situation was. I hate having that kind of attention. People kept saying after Joe was born, “Oh gosh, I KNEW your blood pressure was bad.” And others made comments about how swollen I was. I know these people mean well, but these comments just make me feel like crap. I feel like they think I was a fool for going to a doctor who didn’t catch this earlier. I feel like they are now free to tell me how big I was. People, I KNOW how big I was; you don’t have to remind me. I try to have a sense of humor about it, and poke fun of myself, but when others joke, my sensitive nature kicks in.
I have seen some of my facebook friends who have gone though the same thing I have. One girl had her friends call her legs tree trunks and balloon animals. I’m sure she’s not as sensitive as me, but those comments would have truly pissed me off. I know people weren’t being 100% honest with me when they said I looked beautiful as a swollen pregnant person, but I still appreciate them trying to make me feel better.
Pre-e can be a onetime deal and the chances of it happening in a first-time pregnancy are higher than following pregnancies. I pray to God I don’t have to go through this again. I have read where you can pop a baby aspirin a day during pregnancy and that can stave off pre-eclampsia, so I will definitely keep that in mind. I’m also going to try very hard to control my diet, exercise more, and drink like 400 oz. of water a day.
Pre-eclampsia was a pain, both physically and emotionally. Basically- it sucked. But it has taught me that I am not in total control of my body. AND it has taught me to appreciate my ankle bones and knee caps!
The swelling went down after a few weeks. This was taken about 3 weeks after Joe was born.
My ankles and knee caps today. Glorious! (Oh, I promise I'm wearing shorts. The way I cropped this seems a little scandalous!)
3 comments:
Something I have learned to appreciate over my five pregnancies is that the only acceptable thing to say to a pregnant woman (and a post0partum woman) is "You look GREAT!" If you aren't going to say that...then don't say anything at all. :)
My sister had pre-eclampsia and toxemia with her son...it combined with HELLPS, too. They told her she might have died if they had waited much longer to take her baby. It comes with all sorts of challenges...
I have a question (you're shocked, right? ;)) - how else would your doctor have known that you had pre-eclampsia if your blood pressure was fine? Sorry if I'm missing the obvious here...
And I'm glad you shared your story - I've never had any type of surgery/hospitalization and the whole labor process is one of my biggest fears about having a baby. Your way of sharing was honest but not made to be a horror story.
First comment- although I lurk a lot :) I have an almost seven month old son and had a very similar experience- diagnosed with pre-e at 37 weeks and induced at 38. Also felt completetly fine when my blood pressure was thru the roof! I was released Christmas Day- they had given me my discharge instructions and everything and teh nurse comes to check my blood pressure one more time to "make sure I was good to go". I start crying that I just want to go home, my blood pressure was going higher and higher each time they checked it- finally the dr came in and said she though the stress of the hospital wasn't helping and to come in again on Monday to be checked. Lost 30lbs that first week and blood pressure came down slowly but surely. I definitly can commiserate with the fears of experiencing it again with future pregnancies- glad to here the aspirin suggestion. I am so thankful that it occured late enough in the pregnancy that my son was born happy and healthy! Looking forward to reading the rest of your series!
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