Monday, January 25, 2010

"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he is rich."

My mother and her brothers at my Grandpa Chub's funeral in 1986


This weekend I went to my mom's because my Uncle Alan and Aunt Joy were coming to visit from south Missouri. A good time is usually had by all when they come, and since Ryan was working a five day stretch and since I was getting a touch of cabin fever I decided to go visit.

We discussed a wide range of topics, but one we always talk about is family. We pulled out some old photos and some old silent family movies from the 1960's. After a lot of digging we found a cassette tape with a recording of my grandpa talking with my uncle about his life growing up and what like was like as a married man with seven children!

This weekend has made me realize just how blessed I am by having such a close-knit and loving family. Our family is B I G and scattered all across the United States, yet we still find the time to get together every summer for a family reunion in Tightwad, MO. (Yes, that is a real town!) The population of Tightwad is about 63 people, but when my two living uncles, their spouses, my mother, my brother and his family, plus my thirty cousins, their spouses, and their children come to town we more than double the population!

Sure our family reunions are usually held when it is 100 degrees outside. There are bugs, sweat and a few cramped spaces and some cousins we raise our eyebrows at (my brother being the main one!) But we always have a great time. Thanks to our creative and wacky side we usually have some interesting themes and activities for our family reunion. We've done a full Western play, an auction, a holy card swap, a toga party, American Idol karaoke, St. Patrick's Day in July, a scavenger hunt, obstacle course and numerous other activities. At the end of the day we wind down, pull our lawn chairs around the campfire, drink a few beers and talk into the early hours of the morning.

Don't get me started about the funerals in our family. My family and I put the F U N in FUNeral! We celebrate their life, we laugh more than we weep, and we walk away from the event with a sense of joy and comfort.

I just loved looking at all the photos of my family. My mom and her brothers are a very close-knit unit and it was very evident in the photos and home videos. I wondered what the secret was for this closeness. My mom and her siblings weren't very close in age; my oldest uncle was twenty years old when my mother (the youngest and only girl) was born. They weren't a rich family by any means. Grandpa worked two jobs and they still didn't have all the luxuries of life. My grandpa in his cassette tape interview talked about all the sacrifices they had to make and boy were there a lot! Despite that, my mom and uncles have said they never once felt deprived while growing up. There was always food on the table and love in the home. Just goes to show that financial stability doesn't guarantee happiness.

Now, don't get me wrong- we McAdams are not perfect. There have been sins, wrongdoings, heartaches and tears. There has been some news that could have torn our family apart. I'm sure there's a rather large section reserved for McAdams type people in Purgatory! Despite all the negative things that are a part of our family, we all continue to remain close and choose to look at the good.

Seeing my mom and her family reinforces my desire to have a somewhat large family (or however many God wants to bless us with!) I have nothing against small families, but I grew up seeing how much love and closeness can come from a large family. I told my mom this weekend I was envious of her and wished she would have had more children. I remember working in a nursing home and never once did the elderly folks say, "I wish I had fewer children." They always said they wished they had one or two more. I'm sure there were times when my grandparents wondered what in the world possessed them to have seven children, but the end result is so worth it. Seven people were born, some of the kindest, funniest and caring people in the world. They had children who make a small yet mighty impact on the world. All because two people fell in love.


I still haven't figured out the secret to my family's closeness. Perhaps it is not a secret at all, but just a way of living and loving.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I agree, big families are awesome. I grew up in a very big, dysfunctional family, but I blame the dysfunction not on the size of the family, but the parents who made really, really bad choices as I was growing up. I can see how things would have been different for me, and how much joy would have been in my family if my parents had decided to follow a path of holiness instead of destruction.
My husband also came from a really big family and it is wonderful that my little girl can have so much love and attention from all her aunts and uncles. I do not think we should worry so much about finances when it comes to having a large family, God always has a way of providing. I keep praying for you that you will be blessed with a child soon.

Anonymous said...

Reading this makes me wish I grew up in a large family. My whole family (aunts, uncles, cousins...) could fit around one dinner table. sad.

and my MIL wonders why I want like five kids! :)

Lenae said...

And this is why I want a large family too! I love this post! I love your creative reunions and that you celebrate LIFE at funerals. All you need is love, right? ;)

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