My dad's triple bypass surgery went wonderfully today! He was in there for about 3 hours total. They said he did very well during the surgery. I went and saw him in the ICU and he was still under anesthesia and had a breathing tube, so it was kind of un-nerving to see him in such a weak and feeble condition. He should be released from the hospital around Monday.
He has quite the life change ahead. He needs to lost 75 lbs, stop smoking (he smokes about two packs a day! Yeeeesh!), and cut down on the red meat. But it should add multiple years to his life, which is good because I want him to be around to scoop up his grandchildren!
Thank you again for your prayers. Many of us don't "know" each other, but it's nice to know I have a wonderful group of friends to lift their voices in prayer! God bless you!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Update on Dad
My father's angioplasty failed today. Three of his arteries are blocked. One is 100% blocked, another is 90% and the last is 70% blocked. He is to have bypass surgery on Thursday morning. Thank you all for your prayers and please continue to pray! Expect some light blogging this week.
God bless!
God bless!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Forgiveness and Fatherhood
Tomorrow my dad is having heart surgery. I have spent this weekend contemplating my wide assortment of feelings. If I had known him my whole life would I be even more worried than I am now? I think I’m pretty much worried to my maximum capacity.
My relationship with my father has been like a see-saw since I was born. There have been many ups and downs.
My mother and father never married. In fact shortly after I was conceived they broke things off. It wasn’t a drama-filled break up. Things just fizzled out. My mom didn’t realize she was pregnant with me. There were times she thought there might be a possibility that she was pregnant, but quickly pushed those thoughts aside. She had many other things to worry about.
Then the day came where she couldn’t deny the pregnancy any longer. She was in labor. She labored most of the day at home and finally drove to the hospital. Instead of driving to the county hospital which was about ten minutes away she drove across the state line to a hospital that was twenty-five miles away to maintain her anonymity.
She walked into the hospital, declared she thought she was having a baby and they wheeled her to delivery. On the way there she expressed her desire to give me up for adoption. She had thought on this for awhile. She simply could not afford to raise a newborn baby when she had a thirteen year old son to care for while working as a bartender and going back to college. Twenty minutes later I was born.
There are a lot of details to this story, but to make this a little shorter, I’ll omit some. I was put in foster care for 15 days. During that time my mother did a lot of thinking and praying. She figured I’d be much better off with another family. She didn’t feel like she could afford to give me a good and stable life. My birth was kept a secret for a few days, but when it came to signing the adoption papers, my father had to be involved to sign away his parental rights. My father insisted that my mother was doing the right thing in giving me up for adoption.
The days went by. For the first time in years my mom went to Mass. She remembered the homily was about abortion. Now abortion was light years away from my mom’s mind- remember she didn’t even feel or think she was pregnant. But the homily touched her. She thought long and hard about what her priorities were. Was she giving me up because she was scared? Was she making her decision for the right reasons?
Then the 96-hour rule came into play. That meant she could change her mind and keep me- no question asked. After a lot more prayer and thinking she decided that she would keep me. She didn’t need cable TV. She didn’t need her car- she could borrow her father’s car. Her daughter was more important than material things.
This story just proves that my mom is the most heroic and the most strong-willed woman I know.
She was at peace with her decision. 18 days after I was born, I came home on my mom’s birthday. Our family was complete and our extended family and friends were thrilled.
My dad on the other hand was less than thrilled. He was downright furious. He made sure my mom knew that she would be getting absolutely no support from him. My mother wasn’t too upset- she had a newborn daughter to care for.
I grew up wondering who my father was. My mom never talked about him, and for some reason, I never asked about him. The only thing I really knew was his first and last name. (Mom had obviously kept my last name the same as hers.) My friends and I would speculate what he was like. Maybe he was a millionaire. Perhaps he owned Disney Land! (I was a big dreamer as a child.)
When Father’s Day would roll around I was usually in a bummed out mood because I had no father to send a card to. I remember fretting when I was old enough to realize that the man who was supposed to walk the bride down the aisle was the bride’s father. I quickly came the conclusion that my big brother would be perfect for the job, since he had been like a father to me for so many years. He did a wonderful job walking me down the aisle at my wedding in April, cracking jokes the whole way!
One day, when I was about ten years old I was looking through my baby book and saw that I had a half-sister named Sierra. That piqued my curiosity. So I went looking through the phone book to see if there was anyone who had the same last name as my dad's. To my surprise I found one! I felt in my heart that the name I was looking at my father’s name and address. (I found out much later that the name I was looking at was my grandfather’s.)
A year later my wonderings about my father had basically faded away. I was worried and focused on those things that eleven year olds dwell on (what were those things…I can’t even remember anymore!) One day my mom took me to see the movie Twister. On the way there she told me that my father had called her and said he wanted to be a part of my life. She then proceeded to tell me the story of my birth- the uncertainty of her pregnancy, the near adoption, and my father’s abandonment.
I was beyond excited and happy. Finally the day had come when all my questions regarding my father were answered! And he wanted to get to know me and be a part of my life! I finally “got” a dad!
A couple weeks passed and I finally met him. He was no debonair millionaire. He didn’t show up saying, “Surprise! I own Disney World!” He was a regular guy working as a millwright. But to me, he was great.
When he came into my life I got a whole new family. I had grandparents (both of my mom’s parents had sadly passed away many years before.) I had a step-mom and a step brother and sister. (They have since divorced.) My half sister whose name I found in my baby book had a son- I was an aunt! It was like Christmas. I felt so happy and relieved to have this missing chapter of my life answered.
Over the years my dad and I somewhat drifted apart. He was on the road traveling a lot, so we rarely saw each other. We sent letters back and forth, but when I hit my teenage years, I became too busy to keep in touch.
It was during my high school years that I started to get a twinge of resentment and anger toward my dad. I faced a lot of typical heartbreak a young girl encounters. A boy tells me he loves me and will love me forever. The next day he’s flirting with some other bimbo at a basketball game. A friend of mine tells me that so-and-so has a crush on me and is going to ask me to the homecoming dance. That invitation never comes and I come to find out he never had a crush on me. It was those feelings of abandonment that reminded me that I had been abandoned by men since I was born.
I was lucky enough to have wonderful father figures in my life while growing up, but for some reason my father’s abandonment hit me hard when I was a teenager. The one man that should have been there wasn’t. I looked at how he treated my mother. My heartbreak was nowhere near the amount of anguish she must have felt. Despite all this my father still kept in contact with me. However, this man I was so excited to become a part of my life a couple years before soon became a figure of confusion.
I began to question my worth. All these boys in high school kept breaking my heart. My own father had broken my heart. I began to question what true love from a man was supposed to feel like.
Fast forward to a couple years: I had started college. Then quit. Then started another college. I still kept in touch with him, but very little. I was in a very confused and selfish phase of my life, so he had nothing to do with the very little contact. That was my fault.
I think the turning point for my relationship with my father was when I had my “spiritual growth spurt.” I could tell he was very happy that I had turned my life around for the better. Then my grandfather passed away a couple years ago. That brought us even closer together. Many friends and family came together to celebrate my grandfather's life and it felt good to be introduced as “John’s daughter.” It was a rough time for both of us, but we gave each other comfort.
I think the real stepping stone for me to forgive my father was through my mom. She told me the truth about how she felt about everything, but she never said anything to make me dislike my father. She first and foremost left the decision for him to be a part of my life up to me, but encouraged me to open my heart to him. There were times when mom would suggest to me I should call my dad to wish him a happy birthday and I would yell in a voice filled with disdain, “Why should I?!” She would answer, “He’s your father. Without him you wouldn’t be here!” So true, yet I conveniently chose to overlook that fact. My dad was supposed to escort my grandmother down the aisle at my wedding, but due to ill health she couldn’t come. He had no role in the wedding since my brother was going to walk me down the aisle. It was my mom who suggested that my dad escort her down the aisle. That shows how forgiving and loving my mom is. It was through her example I found myself rethinking how I saw my father.
We all make mistakes. Lord knows I’ve made a gajillion of them. My father apologized for his and tried to make up for them. No one is perfect. Forgiveness is hard. Sometimes it is easier to stay angry. There have been a couple times even in the past couple years I’ve felt a pull to grow back a little resentment. However, God expects us to forgive as He does. Its right there in the Our Father- “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” And to be perfectly honest- it feels good not to harbor resentment. It feels good to let my dad in my life. It felt good to see him and his brothers at my wedding, to see him in the stands at my graduation, and to hear his sorrow and support when we told him we lost our baby.
I don’t think my dad was expecting me to come be with him while he has his surgery. We’re nearly two hours apart. However, I can’t imagine not being there.
So I ask again, please pray for my dad while he is in surgery. I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
My relationship with my father has been like a see-saw since I was born. There have been many ups and downs.
My mother and father never married. In fact shortly after I was conceived they broke things off. It wasn’t a drama-filled break up. Things just fizzled out. My mom didn’t realize she was pregnant with me. There were times she thought there might be a possibility that she was pregnant, but quickly pushed those thoughts aside. She had many other things to worry about.
Then the day came where she couldn’t deny the pregnancy any longer. She was in labor. She labored most of the day at home and finally drove to the hospital. Instead of driving to the county hospital which was about ten minutes away she drove across the state line to a hospital that was twenty-five miles away to maintain her anonymity.
She walked into the hospital, declared she thought she was having a baby and they wheeled her to delivery. On the way there she expressed her desire to give me up for adoption. She had thought on this for awhile. She simply could not afford to raise a newborn baby when she had a thirteen year old son to care for while working as a bartender and going back to college. Twenty minutes later I was born.
There are a lot of details to this story, but to make this a little shorter, I’ll omit some. I was put in foster care for 15 days. During that time my mother did a lot of thinking and praying. She figured I’d be much better off with another family. She didn’t feel like she could afford to give me a good and stable life. My birth was kept a secret for a few days, but when it came to signing the adoption papers, my father had to be involved to sign away his parental rights. My father insisted that my mother was doing the right thing in giving me up for adoption.
The days went by. For the first time in years my mom went to Mass. She remembered the homily was about abortion. Now abortion was light years away from my mom’s mind- remember she didn’t even feel or think she was pregnant. But the homily touched her. She thought long and hard about what her priorities were. Was she giving me up because she was scared? Was she making her decision for the right reasons?
Then the 96-hour rule came into play. That meant she could change her mind and keep me- no question asked. After a lot more prayer and thinking she decided that she would keep me. She didn’t need cable TV. She didn’t need her car- she could borrow her father’s car. Her daughter was more important than material things.
This story just proves that my mom is the most heroic and the most strong-willed woman I know.
She was at peace with her decision. 18 days after I was born, I came home on my mom’s birthday. Our family was complete and our extended family and friends were thrilled.
My dad on the other hand was less than thrilled. He was downright furious. He made sure my mom knew that she would be getting absolutely no support from him. My mother wasn’t too upset- she had a newborn daughter to care for.
I grew up wondering who my father was. My mom never talked about him, and for some reason, I never asked about him. The only thing I really knew was his first and last name. (Mom had obviously kept my last name the same as hers.) My friends and I would speculate what he was like. Maybe he was a millionaire. Perhaps he owned Disney Land! (I was a big dreamer as a child.)
When Father’s Day would roll around I was usually in a bummed out mood because I had no father to send a card to. I remember fretting when I was old enough to realize that the man who was supposed to walk the bride down the aisle was the bride’s father. I quickly came the conclusion that my big brother would be perfect for the job, since he had been like a father to me for so many years. He did a wonderful job walking me down the aisle at my wedding in April, cracking jokes the whole way!
One day, when I was about ten years old I was looking through my baby book and saw that I had a half-sister named Sierra. That piqued my curiosity. So I went looking through the phone book to see if there was anyone who had the same last name as my dad's. To my surprise I found one! I felt in my heart that the name I was looking at my father’s name and address. (I found out much later that the name I was looking at was my grandfather’s.)
A year later my wonderings about my father had basically faded away. I was worried and focused on those things that eleven year olds dwell on (what were those things…I can’t even remember anymore!) One day my mom took me to see the movie Twister. On the way there she told me that my father had called her and said he wanted to be a part of my life. She then proceeded to tell me the story of my birth- the uncertainty of her pregnancy, the near adoption, and my father’s abandonment.
I was beyond excited and happy. Finally the day had come when all my questions regarding my father were answered! And he wanted to get to know me and be a part of my life! I finally “got” a dad!
A couple weeks passed and I finally met him. He was no debonair millionaire. He didn’t show up saying, “Surprise! I own Disney World!” He was a regular guy working as a millwright. But to me, he was great.
When he came into my life I got a whole new family. I had grandparents (both of my mom’s parents had sadly passed away many years before.) I had a step-mom and a step brother and sister. (They have since divorced.) My half sister whose name I found in my baby book had a son- I was an aunt! It was like Christmas. I felt so happy and relieved to have this missing chapter of my life answered.
Over the years my dad and I somewhat drifted apart. He was on the road traveling a lot, so we rarely saw each other. We sent letters back and forth, but when I hit my teenage years, I became too busy to keep in touch.
It was during my high school years that I started to get a twinge of resentment and anger toward my dad. I faced a lot of typical heartbreak a young girl encounters. A boy tells me he loves me and will love me forever. The next day he’s flirting with some other bimbo at a basketball game. A friend of mine tells me that so-and-so has a crush on me and is going to ask me to the homecoming dance. That invitation never comes and I come to find out he never had a crush on me. It was those feelings of abandonment that reminded me that I had been abandoned by men since I was born.
I was lucky enough to have wonderful father figures in my life while growing up, but for some reason my father’s abandonment hit me hard when I was a teenager. The one man that should have been there wasn’t. I looked at how he treated my mother. My heartbreak was nowhere near the amount of anguish she must have felt. Despite all this my father still kept in contact with me. However, this man I was so excited to become a part of my life a couple years before soon became a figure of confusion.
I began to question my worth. All these boys in high school kept breaking my heart. My own father had broken my heart. I began to question what true love from a man was supposed to feel like.
Fast forward to a couple years: I had started college. Then quit. Then started another college. I still kept in touch with him, but very little. I was in a very confused and selfish phase of my life, so he had nothing to do with the very little contact. That was my fault.
I think the turning point for my relationship with my father was when I had my “spiritual growth spurt.” I could tell he was very happy that I had turned my life around for the better. Then my grandfather passed away a couple years ago. That brought us even closer together. Many friends and family came together to celebrate my grandfather's life and it felt good to be introduced as “John’s daughter.” It was a rough time for both of us, but we gave each other comfort.
I think the real stepping stone for me to forgive my father was through my mom. She told me the truth about how she felt about everything, but she never said anything to make me dislike my father. She first and foremost left the decision for him to be a part of my life up to me, but encouraged me to open my heart to him. There were times when mom would suggest to me I should call my dad to wish him a happy birthday and I would yell in a voice filled with disdain, “Why should I?!” She would answer, “He’s your father. Without him you wouldn’t be here!” So true, yet I conveniently chose to overlook that fact. My dad was supposed to escort my grandmother down the aisle at my wedding, but due to ill health she couldn’t come. He had no role in the wedding since my brother was going to walk me down the aisle. It was my mom who suggested that my dad escort her down the aisle. That shows how forgiving and loving my mom is. It was through her example I found myself rethinking how I saw my father.
We all make mistakes. Lord knows I’ve made a gajillion of them. My father apologized for his and tried to make up for them. No one is perfect. Forgiveness is hard. Sometimes it is easier to stay angry. There have been a couple times even in the past couple years I’ve felt a pull to grow back a little resentment. However, God expects us to forgive as He does. Its right there in the Our Father- “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” And to be perfectly honest- it feels good not to harbor resentment. It feels good to let my dad in my life. It felt good to see him and his brothers at my wedding, to see him in the stands at my graduation, and to hear his sorrow and support when we told him we lost our baby.
I don’t think my dad was expecting me to come be with him while he has his surgery. We’re nearly two hours apart. However, I can’t imagine not being there.
So I ask again, please pray for my dad while he is in surgery. I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
7 Quick Takes Friday Vol. 6
1.The job search continues for both my husband and me. He found out earlier this week that the job he was looking into still has no openings. We'll have to wait another month. Patience is a virtue, right....?
2.
I just love the TV show "Friends." I know, I know, it's scandalous, but it has some good parts too! One of my all time favorite episodes is the one with "unagi." It's a concept of total awareness in times of danger.... I laugh every time!
3.
We're just now starting to take down our Christmas decorations. I don't know why, but I always get a little sad when this time of year rolls around. Maybe because usually during this time of year school resumes and I always hated going back after a nice long break!
4.
A nearby parish asked me for some hints on how to get their juniors and seniors excited about attending a NET retreat. I'm digging through all my youth ministry books from college for some ideas? Do any of y'all have good ideas to pass along?
5.
My dad is having surgery on Tuesday, January 12. It's an angioplasty for his heart and if that doesn't work they'll have to do bypass. I'm not sure if I have mentioned it before, but I didn't meet my dad until I was 11 years old. There have been many years of wondering, resentment and now forgiveness. It is a long story I hope to develop into a post very soon.
6.
I am a part of a virtual book club and I am so excited about it! I don't have many friends here in Waverly. I have found that the Internet has been a huge blessing in finding other sisters in Christ to "talk" with. We are reading the book "Feminism is Not the Story of My Life" by Elizabeth Fox-Genovese. Should be a great read!
7.
Gosh, I really don't have anything else interesting to say! Sorry my blog posts have been so blah lately. I have a lot of stuff on my mind! I hope you all have a great weekend everybody!
I'll leave you with a poem my mother found:
"It's winter in Missouri, and the gentle breezes blow... seventy miles an hour at thrity-five below! Oh how I love Missouri! When the snow's up to your butt, you take a breath of winter and your nose gets frozen shut! Yes, the weather here is wonderful, so I guess I'll stick around. I could never leave Missouri, I'm frozen to the ground!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wondering Wednesdays Vol. 4: SNOW!
Today I am wondering... WHY, oh, WHY is it still snowing?!This winter (even though winter officially started less than a month ago!) has been crazy! It snows a ton. A week goes by with bitter-cold temperatures that don't allow any melting. Then more snow. Then more...and more and more and more!
Remember when we were children when we would do a happy dance when it snowed like this? When I was little we lived next to the Catholic Church parking lot and when they would come to plow, the snow was pushed to the sides and became my own little mountain range. I would build tunnels and sled down the little hills for hours. I guess being a kid makes one semi-immune from becoming mind numbingly cold!
I also remember being enchanted by the snow. Actually, I still am mesmerized by all the sparkly little flakes that fall from the sky. Today my mother walked out on her front porch and snapped the above photo. I might complain about snow now, but I still think it's pretty.
In high school we lived at the bottom of a very large hill. At the top of the hill was the United Presbyterian church. This hill (named U.P. Hill after the church) was the place to go to sled for the kids in my hometown. I rarely went sledding on U.P. Hill but if I looked out the window and saw kids slide past our house on a Tuesday at 1:00 p.m. that was a very grand thing because that meant school had been cancelled. That meant I could sleep in and be my usual hibernating teen-age self.
I remember those early years and seeing the stress on my mom's face about the treacherous drive to work or even the couple blocks to the grocery store. I always thought she needed to "chill out." (No pun intended...) That was... until I started to drive.
Yesterday when I went to my in-laws house to wait for my husband's arrival back to Missouri, I ended up driving in rush hour. The roads were slick. People were driving like maniacs. My heart was racing. I was freaking out. Rush hour in my hometown was when a little old lady was driving too slow and you were 3 cars behind her. Or maybe a tractor was on the highway. Needless to say I was white-knuckled and praying a lot of Hail Mary's.
Then there was the ice-covered hill to get up to his parent's house. I shot up a quick prayer and gave my husband's truck a pep talk. "C'mon ol' Blue! (his truck is the color blue in case you hadn't figured that one out!) You can DO this! Let's go Blue...c'mon baby..." I crept up the hill and made it into the driveway with no problems!
I then gave a thank-you prayer to God, sent a silent thank you to the inventor of 4-wheel drive, and then thought back to the days when snow was fun.
Monday, January 4, 2010
A Boring Monday...
Sorry folks, there's not going to be a creative, witty or insightful blog post today. My creative juices just aren't flowing. But one of my goals for blogging is to be a bit more brave and do some Catholic apologetics and talk more about my beliefs of Natural Family Planning and birth control.
But that's for another day.
My husband is in Denver, CO. He went to see the Chiefs/Broncos game. He must be good luck because Kansas City STOMPED Denver! I'm not jealous that I didn't get to go. Nope. Not at all...
I came back to my mom's house for the past couple of days because I didn't want to be bored to death in Waverly all by myself. That meant I had to leave Chandler at Ryan's parents house. Miss Kitty still lives at home with Mom and well....the whole things about cats and dogs not getting along is VERY true with Chandler and Kitty! So I'm missing both of my boys!
It's been nice hanging out with my mom. We've laughed a lot watching old family videos and looking through my boxes from elementary and high school. Plus she made chocolate chip cookies...YES!!!
Another perk of coming to my hometown is that I get to go out to lunch with my best friend tomorrow. We rarely get to see each other, but we have one of those friendships that we can go months without seeing each other, but once we do, it's like no distance or time have separated us. Now if only another best friend of mine lived in Tarkio instead of 30 miles away that would be spectacular!
To spare you from being bored stiff at this post, I'm going to use Danielle Bean's "Daybook" idea. Hopefully this "short" post doesn't turn into a lengthy read! (It's been known to happen...)
Outside my window ... SNOW, SNOW, and MORE SNOW! Like I've said before, I love the first snow of the year and snow at Christmas. Of course the snow at THIS Christmas cancelled Mass, so I'm holding a bit of a grudge at the cold white stuff out there!
I am thinking ... I'd love to live in a small town like my hometown. I just don't think it'll happen...
I am thankful for ... my mother. She has done so much for me. I'm glad we've become better friends now that I'm out of my wicked bratty teenage years!
I am hoping ... that Ryan and his friends leave a little earlier from Colorado than they plan. I want to see my husband!!!
On my mind ... I need to jump full force into this looking for a job thing. Ugh...I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it. Maybe I'll go work at McDonalds. They are always hiring....
Noticing that ... while reading my diaries from high school I thought I knew it all. I mean seriously. Looking back now I laugh hysterically!
A few plans for the week ... get my husband and doggie in Kansas City tomorrow and job searching. Also bake some cookies for my neighbors like I was supposed to for Christmas but ran out of time. It's never too late for cookies right? :-)
From the kitchen ... mom baked tons of cookies. For breakfast I could have had a banana...but....... the cookies were right there next to them!
One of my favorite things ... last night I prayed the last day of my 54 Day Novena. The rosary is now one of my favorite things. It has helped me tremendously. Meditating with Jesus and Mary....doesn't get much sweeter!
A picture I am sharing ... while looking through my boxes at mom's I found this picture my big brother and I took at World's Of Fun in Kansas City in 1995. Jamie looks pretty handsome! I look like a ragamuffin!
But that's for another day.
My husband is in Denver, CO. He went to see the Chiefs/Broncos game. He must be good luck because Kansas City STOMPED Denver! I'm not jealous that I didn't get to go. Nope. Not at all...
I came back to my mom's house for the past couple of days because I didn't want to be bored to death in Waverly all by myself. That meant I had to leave Chandler at Ryan's parents house. Miss Kitty still lives at home with Mom and well....the whole things about cats and dogs not getting along is VERY true with Chandler and Kitty! So I'm missing both of my boys!
It's been nice hanging out with my mom. We've laughed a lot watching old family videos and looking through my boxes from elementary and high school. Plus she made chocolate chip cookies...YES!!!
Another perk of coming to my hometown is that I get to go out to lunch with my best friend tomorrow. We rarely get to see each other, but we have one of those friendships that we can go months without seeing each other, but once we do, it's like no distance or time have separated us. Now if only another best friend of mine lived in Tarkio instead of 30 miles away that would be spectacular!
To spare you from being bored stiff at this post, I'm going to use Danielle Bean's "Daybook" idea. Hopefully this "short" post doesn't turn into a lengthy read! (It's been known to happen...)
Outside my window ... SNOW, SNOW, and MORE SNOW! Like I've said before, I love the first snow of the year and snow at Christmas. Of course the snow at THIS Christmas cancelled Mass, so I'm holding a bit of a grudge at the cold white stuff out there!
I am thinking ... I'd love to live in a small town like my hometown. I just don't think it'll happen...
I am thankful for ... my mother. She has done so much for me. I'm glad we've become better friends now that I'm out of my wicked bratty teenage years!
I am hoping ... that Ryan and his friends leave a little earlier from Colorado than they plan. I want to see my husband!!!
On my mind ... I need to jump full force into this looking for a job thing. Ugh...I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it. Maybe I'll go work at McDonalds. They are always hiring....
Noticing that ... while reading my diaries from high school I thought I knew it all. I mean seriously. Looking back now I laugh hysterically!
A few plans for the week ... get my husband and doggie in Kansas City tomorrow and job searching. Also bake some cookies for my neighbors like I was supposed to for Christmas but ran out of time. It's never too late for cookies right? :-)
From the kitchen ... mom baked tons of cookies. For breakfast I could have had a banana...but....... the cookies were right there next to them!
One of my favorite things ... last night I prayed the last day of my 54 Day Novena. The rosary is now one of my favorite things. It has helped me tremendously. Meditating with Jesus and Mary....doesn't get much sweeter!
A picture I am sharing ... while looking through my boxes at mom's I found this picture my big brother and I took at World's Of Fun in Kansas City in 1995. Jamie looks pretty handsome! I look like a ragamuffin!
Friday, January 1, 2010
7 Quick Takes Friday Vol. 5
It's been a crazy couple of weeks and I must be slacking on my blog reading time because I somehow missed that I won a Lemonade Stand Award from the wonderful Michelle at Musings of a Catholic Lady! I also received an award from a new and very lovely blog I've been following called Musings of a Young Mom. I am flattered to receive these awards...they make my day! Thank you ladies!
1. I cooked a turkey for Christmas Eve dinner. I don't cook. I mean the biggest challenge I've had in the kitchen is a measly meatloaf. I was paranoid this turkey would turn out like the one in the movie Christmas Vacation!
After a horrifying experience of pulling out the giblets and neck (Why, oh WHY do they keep those in there?! OK...so I'm easily grossed out!) the turkey turned out delicious! I actually might brave it again and cook a smaller turkey for Ryan and I sometime!
2.
Ryan is going to Colorado with his brother and some buddies. He's going to see the Chiefs/Broncos game. Ooooooo....enemy territory! No worries Broncos.....you will probably get a big fat win!
3.
The Saturday before the last Sunday of Advent I drove 10 miles to go to confession. Now I love confession, don't get me wrong, but it takes me a couple days to spiritually prepare myself and examine my conscience. I get there and the priest is handing out writing pens. I asked him if he was having confession. He said, "No, I usually do, but I've got to hand out these pens." I was aghast. I put on a fake smile and said, "OK, thanks," and walked out the door.
I was very upset. I know I could have said, "Well I drove 10 miles to come to confession. Could you please make some time?" but I didn't really want to go to a priest who had his priorities all jumbled up. What, the laity aren't allowed to hand out pens? But this priest also chit chats during the beginning of the Liturgy of the Eucharist so I'm not too surprised. There is a reason this church is not my regular parish. Now I'll have to add to my list of sins that I'm bad mouthing a priest..... But I need to remember that the wonderful Sacrament of Confession is a gift from God...not something I deserve.
4.
Midnight Mass and Christmas Day Mass were cancelled this year due to a massive blizzard! I was so bummed out. It felt like something was missing this year from our Christmas celebration. When Fr. Reginald cancels Mass you know it's bad out there. I don't think he'd cancel Mass even if a bomb went off on Main Street!
5.
Speaking of blizzards, my dog Chandler LOVES snow. He races outside and frolics out in the snow drifts. He also likes to bury his head in the snow and eat it. As my dear husband always says....Chandler is a special dog!
6.
This New Year's Eve was spent going to Mass, eating pizza and watching movies with my hubby. It was a treat to get to spend an evening with him since he's been working a lot of evenings. At midnight we watched the ball drop and had a smooch on the couch with Chandler in our lap. A couple years ago I got pretty wild on New Year's Eve. My celebrations nowadays are much more subdued, but SO much better!
7.
It's the new year, so everyone is talking about losing weight. I get a small (OK, a ginormous) sense of anxiety when I see the commercials about starting a diet. When other bloggers talk about their own struggles with weight I usually skip over them because I'm afraid it will force me to take a look at my own battle with weight. Well I got a pair of jeans for Christmas this year and they were a size too big. I thought, "Oh, this will be nice, trying something on that is TOO big!" I. was. dead. wrong. The jeans were very tight. I wore them for Mass and all during the service I kept feeling utterly depressed. I know that being unemployed has a lot to do with my weight gain. I'd like to think that being happily married does that too. Not only do I feel that I look gross and fat, but I feel gross and fat. I am a very short gal- barely 5 feet tall. So when I gain weight....well...I start taking on a spherical shape...
This is supposed to be 7 quick takes, but I could go on and on about my struggle with weight, but I suppose I can save that for another post. I don't want to bum myself out too much!
Passing on the award! I know there are rules to follow, but I have to help my hubby pack for his trip! Thanks again ladies for the awards...God bless you!
Lerin @ Beautiful Chaos
Kate @ Momopoly
Danielle Bean
Kerrie @ The Forgotten Kitchen
Jessica @ Natural Family Planning Works
Michelle @ Goodnight PudPop
Monique @ Catholic Chicks
All the ladies at Faith and Family Live!
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