Writing About C-sections... again!

I'm over at the awesome Fumbling Toward Grace blog writing about mommy wars and c-sections. Hop on over there if you'd like!

Also, I'd like to add kind of an addition because this is the third time this has come up. I don't mean to scold those women who say to other women who have just had a c-section, "I'm sorry you had to have a c-section." The reason it bothers me is that it was said to me when I had my first c-section and that really knocked me down a few pegs. I was already upset that my birth didn't go the way I had planned. I understand these friends just wanted to share in my mourning, but I just needed to hear "He is so cute!" "How are you feeling? You look fabulous!" and "Anything I can do to help you guys out?" That might just be me. I'm a sensitive soul. I've had a couple comments from women hoping they didn't hurt their friend's feelings by expressing their sorrow at them having to have a c-section. I doubt they did hurt their friends' feelings. Still, if you are dealing with a postpartum, major surgery recovering, natural birth wanting mother then these words can possibly sting.

That being said, I don't think that women who are mourning over having a c-section when they so desperately wanted a vaginal birth should be made to feel like they have nothing to be sorrowful about. When I expressed my feelings of heartbreak over having a c-section I had a few people make me feel like a horrible monster. I was healthy and so was my baby and that's all that should matter. Well... that is true... but for a woman who just had her birthing dreams dashed, she has the right to mourn. It took me a long time to come to the realization that birth isn't just about the mom and that I am not always in control and that God's will doesn't always match up with my own. But when your incision on you abdomen is still fresh so is that incision on your heart from your birthing dreams were dashed. Here is an example. Some women dream their whole lives of having the perfect wedding and they have that vision stuck in their head. Then a freak snow storm occurs and half the guest list doesn't show up and flowers all wilt and the groom gets their late  because his car slid off into a ditch. Some of us envision our birthing experience for years like we do our wedding day. A c-section can be that freak snow storm. Yes, you still got married, and the wedding was just one day, but we often look back on our wedding day and we want to look back knowing it went the way we had dreamed. The same thing goes for the day you give birth to your child.

Anywho, I just had to get that off my chest. C-sections are a very sensitive topic for some women. For others they are all about the repeat c-section and have no problems going back under the knife. My main goal for this blog post on Sarah's blog is to point out to people that c-sections are a big deal for some women, both physically and emotionally.