In my last post I chronicled our latest sleep saga. We put Joe in his play pen to go to sleep and he'll fuss for a few minutes, then it is silent.I couldn't stand not knowing what was going on so we got a video baby monitor.
Big mistake. (Kind of.)
As you can see Joe will sit down and lean against the play pen side. His eyes are open and he is staring at the door. Sometimes he'll sit up straight and just stare into the darkness (the camera has night vision.) As soon as we crack the door open he's standing up and fussing for us to pick him up. This has gone on this whole week.
OK, people. I'm pathetic. But I stare at the TV monitor and my heart just breaks that he's sitting there alone in the dark. We put some a few toys in there and stuffed animals (not enough to suffocate him or anything) and we have a noise maker/night light but it goes off after 25 minutes. Then he sits in darkness.
We tried going to bed and leaving him in the play pen but when he knows we're in the same room he cries non-stop. So it's back into the bed with us.
I'm thinking that soon Ryan and I will have to experiment and sleep in another room away from Joe. But I know for a fact that I will stare at the TV baby monitor for hours. I will want to run in there and scoop him up and make sure he knows he's not alone. Make sure he is breathing. Make sure he knows we didn't abandon him. I don't know how other parents do it- having their baby in another room and not knowing what's going on. I swear Joe would stay awake all night if he wasn't in bed with us.
I've heard of babies having separation anxiety, but a mother having separation anxiety from her baby at nighttime??? I'm weird... and a loser. It doesn't help that Ryan jokingly said to me, "He's probably in there singing Eric Carmen's 'All By Myself' to himself."
NOT FUNNY!
How do I toughen up?
5 comments:
I think it's probably hard to start doing it at this point. We had Maggie sleeping in her room by the time she was about 3 months or so. She never really slept in bed with us (just next to us in a bassinet), but she made so much noise in her sleep, that we were happy for her to be in her own room! We just have a regular monitor, and she seems to do fine in there. She sleeps better in her bed than elsewhere, I think.
I'll check on her usually before bed, but not during the night unless she fusses. I think you just have to get used to it. It gets easier with time!
LOL HARD at Ryan's comment! I'm a believer that modern technology can sometimes be dangerous :)
You trust that the bonding worked and he knows that you will come if he cries. No idea why he is sitting so long, maybe he is a play till he drops kinda kid. Hugs!
Awe, he is such an adorable little chubb chubb! I have to admit I laughed at Ryans comment too, thats pretty dramatic. :) Could he be not tired enough by bedtime? Like maybe he needs to cut back to one nap instead of 2? Or maybe he's overtired and needs to wind down for a while? I remember my first baby would be wide awake until past 9 at night, if she didn't fall asleep when I rocked her with her pacifier, I would let her play on the floor in the living room for awhile longer. She has always been the kind of kid who would play until she dropped. There were a few times she literally passed out on the floor in the middle of whatever she was wildly playing with a few moments before. Even now at 4 years old she will be wide awake and talking as I am putting her to bed, and by the time I am finished tucking her sisters in, she has passed out snoring. So I think it can just be a personality thing too, either they are tired and ready to go to sleep, or they aren't.
Maggie, your son is never alone. You are a religious woman. You know that he is comforted by not only guardian angel(s), but the presence of love of Jesus at all times.
I have said many times that one of the greatest gifts you can give a child is the security of a good night of sleep and a good day away from mom/dad. Secure children, children who know they are loved (but also have limits) can sleep on their own and know they'll be picked up in the morning. Same with kids who do well from the start when they go to day care. It's a gift to be so safe and well-loved that you know being alone or asleep or with someone else is temporary!
Everyone likes to be alone for a bit, especially before bed. Let the kid alone. I promise you, he'll be fine! Just because he is zoning out and looks bored/lonely doesn't mean you should feel upset - he's just relaxing. It's ok!
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