During my senior year I ate right and exercised a lot. That was the first time I ever really felt confident about my body. And I was happier, too. I firmly believe that by taking care of my body it helped me overcome some of the obstacles I faced with battling depression.
After high school I added a few pounds. Of course I lamented that I was getting fat but looking back… I was being stupid, again. I was still within a healthy weight range for my height.
It was when I met my future husband that my weight really started to balloon. I can’t say that it was because I wasn’t trying to look my best to land a guy, because I was never doing that when I was maintaining my weight. I’m not sure what it was that made me gain so fast. It may not be related to Ryan at all- perhaps it was the stress of school.
When I got engaged I decided to do something about my weight. My mom was in Weight Watchers and since I was living with her at the time I decided to go with her. She had previously lost about 50 lbs with the program, so I knew it worked. And even though I complained about counting points and measuring stuff out, it worked for me as well. I lost about 10 lbs. I was truly happy with my body at my wedding.
But then things REALLY went down-hill from there. I gradually added the weight back on. Then 3 months after I got married I had a miscarriage. I felt my body had betrayed me by making me lose my baby so I just didn’t care anymore how I treated my body. I was depressed and when I get depressed I eat like crazy. I was also stressed due to money problems and not being able to find a job so I ate even more. Pretty soon my wedding ring was getting a little snug.
Before I had a chance to start my 12359827351293598719th attempt to lose weight I found out I was pregnant in January. I gained weight slowly until my 3rd trimester and then thanks to pre-eclampsia I blew up to resemble the freakin’ Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. But that’s a whole different story!
After Joe was born I lost about 40 lbs in 5 days. I lost another 20 lbs over the next few weeks thanks to breastfeeding. It was all due to the breastfeeding because I was eating everything in sight. I felt like a frat boy.
But now things have gotten out of control again. Joe isn’t nursing as often but I’m still eating as much food as I did when he was nursing every 2 hours. So now I’m gaining weight again but this time it’s more depressing.
I see myself in pictures and am simply disgusted with myself. I’m actually shying away from cameras and I used to be a ham in front of the camera. I just feel gross.
I feel like I can’t properly take care of Joe. I huff and puff when he is in my arms and I’m going up or down stairs. When I’m crawling around with him I get very worn out. I feel tired and blah alllllllll the time. I’m only 26 years old! I shouldn’t be like this! I want to have more kids… how can I keep up with them if I feel like a blobby blob of blubber?
Both my mom and dad have had heart troubles and have been overweight most of their lives. That doesn’t paint too pretty a picture for me. Better to do something now instead of in 30 years if I have a heart attack and it’s even harder to lose the weight.
After a lot of hemming and hawing I decided to join Weight Watchers. I’m just going for it. I know it works. I’ve personally witnessed numerous success stories.
A lot of women have weight loss goals to fit into a bikini or a wedding dress. My goal- to have my original wedding ring fit my finger. I haven’t worn it in over a year and I’m tired of wearing $12 fake rings from JC Penney.
So here I go again- trying to lose weight!
Weight Loss Journey:
High school: 98 lbs.
Party days: 111 lbs.
Pre-engagement: 125 lbs
Wedding: 115 lbs
After wedding: 130 lbs
Pre-pregnancy (Joe): 140 lbs
Joe’s birth: 199 lbs (I know… HOLY CRAP!)
After Joe’s birth: 135 lbs
First Weight Watcher Meeting: 146.6
2nd Week of WW: 141.2 (5.4 lbs lost- probably because I stopped eating ice cream every night!)
3rd Week of WW: 138.6 (1.6 lbs lost)
Healthy weight for my height of 5’00”: 103-128 lbs
GOAL: 120 lbs
9 comments:
I hear you loud and clear! I think most any mom could have written this post. We all struggle, and the older you get/the more babies you have the tougher it gets. I would like to lose that last 5 pounds....but am not so sure it's going to happen. Life gets so busy, you know?
Good for you for doign WW. It definately works, you just have to work the plan. Keep us updated!
Good luck and keep at it! I'm about to have this baby and it'll be back to the weight loss goals for me, too. I wish, just once, the weight would come off like it did after Sarah (my first)...I was still under 30 and it just took some effort and the pounds came off.
Anyway, hang in there Maggie! Keep us in the loop! I bet you'll do great. I love WW new program!
Wow, you're already making such progress! I weighed 136 on my wedding day, and I will probably never see that number again! After I did WW for two months in 2009, I lost 11 pounds and was in such great shape (trained and ran a half-marathon)...I was actually in the best shape of my life and that was after 4 kids! But I still weighed 143 at the lowest. So I guess what I'm saying is don't get too hung up on the scale number - I find clothes sizes and how I feel is a much better indication of being healthy than what the scale says. Before kids, I always wore size 10 pants, and after 4 kids (and a lot of work!) I was in size 6. I will soon be joining you in a weight loss journey after this baby is born. I know it's a lot of hard work, but I know we can both do it!!
Good luck! BTW I think it is really wise to set landmarks based on how you feel ( more stamina, wearing your original ring) rather than a number which is fickle and effected by improved muscle tone.
Good luck, and I think Joy has the right idea. I am currently just beginning to reach my college weight. And that's good, but I think I have more muscle now than then, so I'm trying not to worry too much about the actual number (though who can help paying attention to the number at least a little...)
Way to go Maggie and good luck!
I too agree with Colleen and Joy - I stay as far away from the scale as possible. Now, my favorite jeans that don't fit? They are why I run, bike, and swim :).
Im proud of you, Magrat.
You can do it! And I agree with the other commenters that the scale shouldn't be your ultimate focus, but if it helps you stay focused with WW, then I say don't worry about it as long as it works to get you in shape!
Wow! For some reason I never realized how petite you are. Three inches shorter than me! 'Skinny' for me is around your weight now. Last time I weighed 140 lbs, I was wearing a size 6. I know the scale is a good indicator of whether or not your diet is working, but try not to get too stuck on it. If you like how you look and you fit in the clothes you want to fit in, and you feel pretty good, I think I'd be happy, even if I was a little off my goal weight. However, feel free to ignore what I say and do what you think is best for you. I think it is crazy how different different bodies are. You must be a really light-boned person. Me and everyone in my family are solid, heavy people even when skinny. We have tons of muscle on us too.
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