This pregnancy has served me up a nice concoction of hormones. This lovely cocktail has brought out some crazy mood swings. One minute I'm a happy goofball. Five minutes later I'm snapping at my husband for no good reason, he offers to get out the Holy Water to sprinkle on me, then I burst into tears that my husband thinks I'm Satan in bodily form.
I'm finding lately that I get even more easily annoyed than I did before I was pregnant. What really annoys me is inconsiderate people. You know, that woman who you hold a door open for and she doesn't say thank you. Or that dad in the Wal-Mart checkout line who lets his kid throw grapes at your head and says, "He's going to be a Major League pitcher, ain't he?"
So what is it that has really, really, really, really been annoying me? My neighbors. I've mentioned before that I live in a four-plex and the people in the other apartments are all related to each other.
Ryan and I get along with our neighbors. But it's the little things they do that drive me nuts. Wearing steel-toed boots and POUNDING up and down the stairs in the morning. It is so loud it has waken me up at 8:00 a.m. and has confused my doggie (he thinks it is someone knocking at our door so he starts barking and growling.)
They slam their front doors numerous times a day. They fight outside our apartment. They ride their wake-the-dead-they're-so-loud go-karts around the perimeter of the apartment. They play their ghetto hip-hop music and the bass carries to our apartment so loud we can barely hear our TV. One of them has been arrested for drunk driving and drugs and spent a week in jail. There are many other things that drive me crazy, but I'll stop the list here, lest y'all think I'm a complainer. :-)
Some of you might be thinking, "Gee... how come you haven't high-tailed it out of there?!" Others might be thinking, "You need to get over it. It could be a lot worse. Be thankful you have a home to live in. Be thankful you live in a safe town and not some hood where everyday you walk out the door you face the risk of getting shot."
There are many times I'm thinking the former of the above statements. "Poor me." But then I open my eyes, realize that darn, pesky Original Sin is distorting my reason and judgement, and I start to realize the latter of the above statements is what I should be thinking.
But that's not all I should be thinking. I shouldn't just grin and bear all the annoying things. I should love.
When the rich man comes to Jesus and asks what he must do to have eternal life, Jesus says to keep the commandments. When the young man asks "Which commandments?" one of the answers is, ".... you shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 19:16-19)
Sigh... so that means I can't say "I love my neighbors" and then turn around to my husband and say, "They annoy the living poo outta me." I wouldn't want someone saying that about me.
What makes it worse is that as much as I complain, our neighbors are so charitable and kind to us. Whenever we have asked to do laundry at their place they have never said no. When I went to take Chandler out to potty one of them stopped me and expressed how happy she was that I am pregnant again and how sorry she was to hear about me losing our first baby. They have helped us out numerous times without even thinking of what's in it for them. Then the guilt creeps in.....
There is always going to be someone who drives us crazy or makes our lives miserable. There is the supervisor that we are convinced hates us and we are tempted to spit in their food. There is the family member that seems hell-bent on controlling our lives or be mean to us and we would just rather not show up to the family reunions. There is the lady that is standing in front of you at the "10 Items or Less" register at the grocery store and you know there is at least 30 items in her shopping cart, but she doesn't seem to care that there are six people behind her carrying toilet paper or just a jar of pickles in their hands and that's all. There is that good friend who is so sarcastic you often wonder if they are kidding around, or if they really are that mean.
Why are we supposed to love others who we'd rather hate? Why does Jesus demand so much from us? I'm sure there is some great theological answer out there that would blow our minds. But I like to keep things simple.
Jesus is God. God is love. God loves us and wants what is best for us. Really, He does! He's that Ultimate Parent- when we whine, "But do I hafta?!" He says, "Yes, because I know what is best for you." And then we stomp off and pout, because deep down we know He is right. Do we really want to go through life harboring resentment and anger towards others? Many times we do, just simply because it is easier. It is easier to focus on others' annoying habits or bad deeds rather than focus on our own shortcomings. Believe me... I'm sure I have some habits that annoy the living poo out of my neighbors, but it is so much easier not to think of that.
But we all know, that when we find the strength and wisdom to look past the annoying things of our neighbors and focus on the good.... well that makes life a whooooooole lot better.
This is one big thing I need to work on spiritually. The next time I find myself getting annoyed, angry or irritated, I'm going to try my hardest to smile and go above and beyond to be nice. I think I need to make the Beatles' song "All You Need is Love" as the soundtrack to my life! I'll try to keep the Darth Pregger in me from emerging so often!
7 comments:
Reading this made me think of my lovely neighbor who regularly decides to do lawn work during naptime. The worst was when he decided to cut down and grind up the stumps of 3 large trees in his yard, right after I had just gotten my 2 toddlers to sleep and I was tucking my pregnant self in for a nap! I was ready to march my huge self over there and give him a (sobbing) piece of my mind. Anything that interfere's with sleep is enough to bring out the "darth pregger" in any pregnant woman.
Ohhh, you can't blame your grumpiness on your pregnancy!!! You've always been grumpy! :-)
And remember--you are supposed to love your neighbors--God didn't say anything about liking them. :-)
This is the funniest post! I even laughed aloud at your mention of the Walmart Dad.
But, I agree. This is the thing I need to work more on spiritually, too.
Okay, so I feel like a hypocrite for even thinking about this, let alone saying it. I don't know what ways you go about loving your neighbor (and I would love to hear what you come up with!) but the only thing I've been able to come up with is to offer up my annoyances- for them. This doesn't mean that I've done it well, I've just thought that maybe that was something I should do. I've probably only actually managed to do it once in about 10 or 20 opportunities.
I hope you can love them like you want to-- and I hope you get to move soon! :)
I guess some of my suggestions to go above and beyond to love would be... instead of hurrying inside to my apartment to avoid talking to my neighbors standing outside I could stop and chat with them. For that relative that annoys me I could spend more time with them and think of their needs and wants more than my own. For that woman who cuts in front of you in line... maybe offer a smile instead of a rude finger gesture! :-)
One thing I have learned through four pregnancies...the person I am when I am pregnant is not the person I am not-pregnant. :)
Hang in there and love your neighbors!!
I dunno. I tend to think that it needs to go both ways and that my neighbors should think about loving me. Like, by picking up their stinking dog poo rather than leaving land mines in the courtyard! Or by not cranking their music loudly enough to shake my furniture.
I'm also self-righteous enough to think that I don't do anything that could bother them... because I don't have pets that are loud or smelly, I only walk around in my house in barefeet or slippers, I don't crank my music or tv, and I don't even cook so they can't be bothered by food smells! Sheesh, I'm the perfect neighbor! :-D
Thanks for reminding me that I need to just offer up those annoyances - and to work on being self-righteous!
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