Job Woes

It's Monday. The day all those employed people dread.

I don't really mind Mondays, since everyday of the week seems the same to me. I lounge in my PJ's, read blogs, watch CNN, look for jobs in the classifieds and wait for phone calls from those employers that I've interviewed with. Sounds kind of nice, but believe me- I am going stir-crazy. I'm almost becoming depressed because I'm not out there actually DOING something productive. My gargantuan student loan grace period ends in a couple weeks and I'm definitely panicking.

It's Monday, and today I received some pretty bad news.

A couple weeks ago I interviewed for a development position for the Catholic Radio Network. I got a new interview outfit (that made me look like a grown up- a strange concept for me!), dyed my hair and even painted my nails. I was one of five people being interviewed so I did my best to impress. The interview went very well and I've been in agony these couple of weeks waiting for a call.

I got an email this morning informing me the position had been filled. I really wish I could be one of those bright and sun-shiny people who don't let anything get them down and vow that something better will come up and get to work finding another job. I am NOT one of those people. These past few months have been so hard and I was just hoping for a glimmer of a good change.

I've been drowning my sorrows in Diet Root Beer and left-over Halloween candy. I'm also busy baking oatmeal raisin cookies. I suspect five pounds will find their way to my waist this week (but at least I'm drinking diet, right?)

Everyone is telling me that something better will come along. I know God has a plan for me and it will be awesome. I just wish He'd shoot a flaming arrow from heaven with a scroll attached telling me what to do next. I wish I didn't feel so crummy.

I read other women's blogs, and their woes consist of getting a chocolate shake stain out of the carpet or a teething child. Those are the kind of woes I want to write about, not my long lasting unemployment.

I've thought up a lot of "hare-brained" schemes before. When I quit college the first time I had the idea of working at a factory to save up money to move to L.A. or New York to become an actress. (I failed to mention that in the post because, well...I'm a tad embarrassed!) My mom even dragged me to an audition for the Broadway musical The Lion King. I croaked out Danny Boy backstage of the enormous Starlight theater in Kansas City. The director thanked me for coming with a little smirk on his face and I bolted out of there.

While I was working housekeeping and maintenance at the hospital, and I was trying to decide if I should go back to college I thought the perfect way for me to think clearly was to backpack across Europe. I have the long and excited journal entry to prove it.

I don't dream big like that anymore. And since I've received this news that I didn't get the job I'm trying to think of what my next step should be. I have goals, and you all know how I like lists, so I'll list some of them.

• Of course one of my main goals in to be a mother. I want a whole bunch of 'em and would love to stay at home and take care of them and my husband.
• I want to write more. I have a purple folder stuff with half-finished stories that I wrote as a child. There's a tornado story, a story of a girl lost at sea, and even four comic books featuring my own "Magnificent Magg-o". Since starting this blog I've come to realize my love for writing wasn't just a childhood phase.
• Since I've been writing more I've thought about going back to school to get a degree in journalism or writing. That may be another "dream big" dream.
• I've often thought about going back to school to get my masters in Theology. But there are no grad schools for Theology around here and we'd like to stay close to this area. Besides, thinking about the stresses of writing twenty page papers on iconoclasm scares me a little!
• I'd love to be a Catholic speaker. Public speaking does not scare me.
• I've thought about how awesome it would be to write a book. (There I go again with the writing!) I think it would be fun to co-author a book with my big brother who writes Roman Catholic Cop.
• Most of all, I want to make a difference. I want to bring people closer to Christ. I want to save souls. I want to get to Heaven to experience eternal happiness with all of my loved ones.

Time to go, my raisins, eggs and vanilla have been standing for an hour and it's time for the baking to begin!

P.S. Thank you to all who offered their prayers during my interview and while waiting to hear back from them. God bless you!