Cooking and Life

The above picture is of my little kitchen.

This picture basically encompasses my cooking experience.

There's my microwave. That is my main source of cooking. Ryan works a lot of nights so I don't have a chance to really cook a big supper. Soup, pizza, burritos- those cook very nicely in the microwave. It's quick and easy. If the microwave broke, I'd be in some serious trouble.

On top of the microwave are some bananas. That shows my feeble attempts to eat healthy and to get in back into shape. Being unemployed has really taken it's toll on my body. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. Ugh....

You might not be able to see but I have TONS of cookbooks. One is titled "Cooking for Dummies" and another is "Where is Mom Now That I Need Her?" Yes, I am a horrible cook and even these books are a bit above my level! Maybe someday when Ryan's schedule evens out I can dive into these books and really learn how to make a scrumptious meal.

You might be wondering what that little white thing is on the control panel thingy of the stove. (Yeah, so I don't know "stove" terms!) It's a holy card of St. Jude. St. Jude is the patron saint of impossible cases. Maybe I need more confidence, but my thinking is that it's impossible for me to make a good meal...or at least I think it is impossible to control my temper when I cook.

My temper and patience are not the best when it comes to cooking. I am waaaaay too much of a perfectionist. I get mad when my dishes aren't cooking right. I become almost enraged when spaghetti sauce splatters (especially on ME!) I get frustrated when my side dish is ready to be served and my main course is nowhere near ready and I haven't even put the garlic bread in the oven. I stomp. I yell. Sometimes I am in near tears. A couple times my husband has come in and asked if he needed to get the Holy Water. I never find his jokes funny when I'm grumpy. :-)

I want everything to turn out perfectly and when it doesn't I get upset.

It's the same way when I want my life to go a certain way and it doesn't. Many times I have had a "life plan." I have these goals and I'm determined that they go according to plan. But sometimes God throws us a curveball. That job I thought I would get is given to someone else. The town I was certain I would move to after graduation is almost two hours away from where I ended up. The baby growing inside me is taken to heaven much sooner than I planned.

As you can see from my previous posts I have had many life plans that didn't pan out. At the time I was frustrated and angry. But looking back I thank God that many of "my" plans didn't work out and His did.

After all, God is all knowing. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what is best for us. It has taken me a long time to finally "let go, and let God." I still struggle with trusting Him sometimes. Sometimes it takes a very long time to understand why God changes our plans. But we have to take comfort in knowing that He loves us more than anything or anyone ever will and He wants our ultimate happiness. That may include some suffering. We will understand in the end.

So someday I will learn how to cook. Maybe when I'm an old grannie my grandkids will be shocked that I once was clueless in the kitchen. (A girl can dream right?)

P.S. The meal cooking on the stove is Hamburger Helper. Really fancy, right?