Blogging Blackholes and Blogging Friends

The other day I was going through the list of blogs I follow. I'm trying to limit screen time and I wanted to weed out the blogs that I don't read anymore. It wasn't too difficult, because there were quite a few blogs where the author doesn't post anymore. In some cases the blog doesn't even exist at all! I went through some of my old posts and comments and there were some people who used to comment all the time, and I used to comment on their blog. We had a special online friendship, but it soon drifted away into the wind when they stopped posting.

I know that life gets busy and that is cause for a lot of the reason that these bloggers stop writing. But it's always a strange feeling when they shared so much every week, sometimes every day... their thoughts, their feelings, their day to day activities, their struggles and suddenly that door is shut. It's the same feeling I would get when I was young and a dear friend would move far away.

I somtimes wonder if my blog will ever get sucked into the blogger black hole. I often feel an obligation to keep my blog updated because I'm afraid people will stop reading. I get dismayed when posts I spend a lot of time on get no comments. There are times I kick myself for becoming so worried about a little ol' blog. I don't get paid to write this. I don't have deadlines. No one asked me to start this blog.

So why is blogging so important to me?

I started this blog a few weeks after my miscarriage ended in September 2009. It chronicled my first years of marriage, being a housewife, my pregnancy with Joe and the journey of first becoming a mother and then a mother to two young boys. This blog contains my frustrations, my fears, my hopes and dreams. It contains funny stories of learning to cook and sew and getting Joe to sleep through the night. It talks about my struggles with depression and dealing with an unplanned c-section. Basically, this blog contains my heart and soul.

And the best thing about this blog is the people I have come to know through the blogging community. Without blogging I probably would have never come to know Michelle from Endless Strength. She has become a dear friend and inspiration. She is Sam's godmother and I can't think of anyone better to be praying for my son.She probably would have been just part of another of the many families at my parish if it weren't for blogging. Actually, I might not have ever come to St. Andrew's because it was her blog that brought me there!

Katie from NFP and Me are practically twins. We like pretty much the exact same things and both curse like sailors. We both love our faith and sharing NFP. I would have never met her without blogging.

There are so many wonderful women bloggers that I have not met (I'm looking at you, Sarah!) who I consider friends, and without them I would have barely gotten though some tough times. They have sent me care packages, books, music and even hand-me down clothes for my boys. Just knowing I have some very special prayer warriors out there petitioning for me is a great source of comfort. In turn, their sorrows and joys become my own.

That is why I still cling to blogging. I don't feel quite as guilty anymore for not posting as much. I have to cut myself some slack because I am now in school. I have to focus on that in order to hopefully get into nursing school next year. Plus, I have a husband and two young children that deserve more of my attention than blogging. But the words I have written down and the words in my head are far too valuable to give up right now. The memories and friends I have made though this process are too precious to me.

I still wonder where some of my old blogging friends have gone. I know they have moved on and are living their lives and that is fantastic. I still hesitate to delete their blogs thinking that maybe someday they will be back.

In the meantime, I pray for all my blogging friends, both past and present, and I hope it is a long time from now when I reach the point that it is time to stop blogging and close down From the Heart.