The New Battleground: Mass

A couple of months ago I wrote on my facebook about my curiosities regarding Joe starting to walk. Being a first-time mother I was just confused on how the whole walking thing worked. Some days he would take a few steps and then start crawling again for two weeks straight before attempting another step. I don't know what I was thinking... I guess I just thought that once he took his first few steps that he'd just walk a little more each day.

I had a lot of people respond to my status. Many of them commented that I shouldn't rush Joe walking- that I would miss the days of him just crawling and not having to chase him around.

I find their comments only partially true at this point. I love watching Joe walk (it's like he's tipsy) and I love walking next to him while he holds my hand. However, this walking thing has led to a new battleground- Mass.

For many months Joe slept through Mass. Then he hit the stage of being awake, but he was content by being held and looking around. Once he started crawling and cruising there would be rare occasions we would put him on the floor and he'd play around, but he was still mostly in our arms during the Mass.

That has all changed now that Joe is walking. He can't be contained. If we put him down he destroys the missalettes and then is determined to started walking in the aisle. When we pick him up he throws a fit. Most of the time he gets distracted by something and then calms down, but there have been a few times we've had to take him out of the church. We've never had to remove him from church before. In fact, just last week I went back to my hometown parish and after Mass my priest mentioned that was the first time he had ever heard my son in church!

Joe was OK during Mass yesterday. He got fussy a few times, but nothing that merited going out into the narthex. However, I was distracted during Mass by a boy sitting in front of us. He was probably 13 years old. He and his parents were seated right next to this giant pillar- a pillar that this boy kept leaning on during the times of the Mass where we are supposed to stand. His mother kept gently putting her hand on his shoulder to stand him upright and he kept looking at her like she was pure evil. Then there would be times while we were sitting that he kept kicking the pew in front him him and his mom would quietly tell him to stop and he would give her the stink-eye.

I looked at this teenager and I looked at my son. Joe was determined to "read" the hymnal instead of the Noah's Ark book we had brought. We had finally given in and let him thumb through the pages while we made sure he didn't rip out the pages to Holy God We Praise Thy Name.

I looked to the two young boys sitting next to the teenager and his parents. They were probably four and six years old. They sat quietly, didn't complain and seemed to be participating in the Mass. I know there is no guarantee that these boys won't end up like the teenager someday, but I was just amazed at the difference in demeanor.

I looked at Joe again. What kind of kid would he end up like? The quiet pious youngsters or the disrespectful punk teenager?

I think Joe is at the age where I really need to start implementing religion in his life. He is at the age where he is starting to understand better the world around him. I never really worried about instilling the love of God in him before because he was just too young to understand. I always took him to Mass. I think he has missed a total of three Masses in his 14 months of life. I know taking him to Mass is a good start, but I need to start thinking outside the box.

Joe is still at a weird age. He's old enough to start learning more about God, yet I think he is too young to do some of the really cool projects that are designed for older kids. Just search some Catholic mommy blogs and you can find so many awesome ideas for the liturgical seasons ranging from Baby Jesus cards to rosary cupcakes. These activities are so fun and can be an amazing tool to teach kids about Jesus, Mary, the saints, etc. but I still think Joe isn't quite to that stage.

So I've been doing some things here and there to teach Joe about God. I must admit that I am lazy most of the times, so I don't do these things all the time.

Here are some of thing things I have been doing:

*There is a shelf above our bed with two small pictures of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Mary. After we read our bed time story I usually pull the pictures down and just explain to Joe who they are. "Here is Jesus. Jesus loves us. This is Mary. She is Jesus' mommy. She loves us, too." Then I usually say a brief prayer. This is where I feel silly because I really don't know what to say. I want to be simple, but I want to make the prayer meaningful, too. Then I usually say a Hail Mary while pointing to the picture of the Blessed Virgin.

Joe loves looking at these pictures and usually points up at them to look at them at random times during the day. Because of this, they have fallen down behind the bed and I haven't had the time to pick them up. Last night as I was saying a Hail Mary Joe pointed up to where the pictures usually are. At least he's starting to put two and two together!


* I take Joe to Mass. Since Joe has started to become a little rambunctious during Mass I thought it would be a good idea to sit up towards the front of the church so he could see better. No one sits up there, right? Well, they do in the parish we have started to regularly attend! Maybe it's because it is the most popular Mass time, but I was shocked at how full the front was. Sitting in the front helped a little.

I always bring religious books with us. Joe absolutely loves to look at books. This sounds horrible, but I think it's almost borderline strange at how much he loves books! These definitely keep him occupied.

We don't really bring any other toys except a large beaded children's rosary... which Joe likes to chew on the cross part. It looks a little sacrilegious, but I know he obviously doesn't know what he's doing. I just find it funny to see bite marks in the cross.

I don't know about bringing food or drinks to Mass in the future. I know some parents don't allow it, but I don't really mind either way as long as it isn't too distracting.

I try to engage Joe at what's going on around us. I whisper the prayers and responses in Joe's ear. I make the sign of the cross on his forehead. I point out the statues and paintings.

When Joe does get too unruly one of us usually goes outside the sanctuary with him. None of the churches I have been to really have a cry-room. I get frustrated because I want Joe to learn to love the Mass, but when we are out of the action for so long I feel like it's pointless being there. However, a couple of weeks ago I met a man out there corralling his 22 month old daughter who has Down Syndrome. She is absolutely beautiful. Her father joked that he hasn't sat through an entire Mass in months. I thought it was amazing how he still brought her every Sunday, no matter what challenges they faced.

* I try and pick out books with religious themes. I will admit that a lot of these books go into the "Church Bag" that are special only for Sunday's. I need to get more that he can look at everyday. We went to a book store and saw tons of Christmas books. I made sure to get a simple book about the Nativity. I just don't have a lot of dough to spend on a bunch of religious books. Many of the books we get are from secondhand stores or garage sales, and unfortunately religious books are hard to come by at those places.

* I want to try and incorporate more religious toys. Yesterday I splurged and bought Joe a Little People Nativity Set. I plan on giving this and the Nativity book we recently purchased to Joe on the first Sunday of Advent. I am not anti-Santa and presents and Christmas fuzzy-wuzzies; I just want to make sure that Joe knows that Jesus is truly the reason for the season.


There are also those really cool plush Mass kits. Buuut they cost like 70 bucks. Anybody want to get this for Joe or make him one? Anyone? Hello?



Like I said, some of these religious toys and books can be expensive...

Although, I wonder how much this Jesus action figure would cost. If you can't see the description is says, "Jesus Christ... with ninja-messiah throwing nails, death killer-cross pump action over-under shotgun." Perhaps not?



I am worried about how to raise Joe to be a good Catholic. I look at myself and I see how lazy I am when it comes to my religion. I realized last night that I don't pray at night even though I'd like to say I do. When I get into bed I make the sign of the cross and then totally zone out or fall asleep. I am lazy and inconsistent and pretty much doubt in God's love for me all the time. However, I know it is important to be a good example for Joe. Ryan and I made vows at his baptism to raise him up right in the faith. Those promises are not to be taken lightly. But I still find myself being a less-than-stellar example for Joe.

But I still worry I will become too Stephen King's-mom-from-Carrie-like. I don't want to drive Joe away from the faith. I don't want to push him. I want to have a good balance of piety and humor. Remember when I was pregnant with him and I wrote about my fears of turning my son into an axe murderer? Yeah, those fears haven't changed much. I'm just afraid of totally screwing up my kid.

I read a great blog post by Elizabeth from In the Heart of My Home just the other day about how sometimes you can do everything you think is "right" and your child may still choose a path that you don't want them to follow. My bond with Joe is so strong. I think it may be hard for me to sever the ties. It's not always going to be "Mommy and me" with him. He will blossom into his own person. He is doing it in front of my eyes everyday. I need to remember that he is first a child of God. God gave him to us so that we can help him get to heaven. But there is only so much we can do since our children have free will. I just pray that I can be the best Catholic I can be so that I can be a good example for Joe. And so he won't end up as a leaning-against-the-pillars-at-Mass-punk-teen-future devil worshiper.

How do you help your children pay attention in Mass? How do you implement your faith into everyday life for your kids?