I think I’m safe to say that mostly everyone loved Kate Middleton’s wedding dress. It was elegant, beautiful and classic. Her veil was almost ethereal. She looked perfect. I was not disappointed.
Many are talking about her dress. Many are talking about how her dress with the lace sleeves will probably be the new fashion trend in wedding dresses. Many are also talking about how strapless dresses are simply horrible.
I agree that strapless dresses are not the ideal. However, I wore one at my wedding and I have my reasons.
Strapless wedding dresses are e v e r y w h e r e. It’s very hard to find one with sleeves. The strapless fad is just getting kind of overdone and boring. I think it’s time to move on to the next fad, and I think Kate Middleton’s dress will be a step in the right direction.
Not only are strapless wedding dresses overused, but many of them are simply God-awful immodest. There are just some women who should not be wearing strapless. How do you think the pastor feels when he is uniting a man and woman in marriage and he is trying hard to avert his eyes from a woman’s buxom chest overflowing out of her dress? Dear Heavens- what if a nipple popped out?! Wardrobe malfunctions aren’t just in Hollywood.
I don’t think many women take seriously the holiness and reverence that are a part of the wedding ceremony. A priest once told me that while he was in the sacristy after a wedding he looked out and saw the bride lying across the altar getting her photo taken. He quickly went out there and stopped that sacrilege. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he would have gone all Jesus-and-the-moneychangers on them. I’m not making excuses for her, but she was probably just very poorly catechized and didn’t realize just how inappropriate that was. There are many women who don’t realize how inappropriate their cleavage showing for all on earth and Heaven to see. Either that or they just don’t care. They want to feel good about themselves. Who cares about modesty?
When I embarked on my journey to find my wedding dress it was not fun. I wanted straps. I wanted to be modest. I wanted to be different. My mom REALLY pushed for me having straps or a jacket of some sort. You can say I’m making excuses for myself, but- we just couldn’t afford it. Getting fitted for a jacket (with my short arms) or having a seamstress sew sleeves on just wasn’t feasible for me financially. I couldn’t afford to go to a boutique where it’s easier to find a dress with straps. I instead made sure that my dress’s bodice would be high enough on my chest so that there would be no cleavage and that my veil would be covering my shoulders. I agonized over this choice. If it wouldn’t have been for one of my college housemates who is one of the holiest women I know wearing a tasteful strapless dress to her own wedding I would have probably worn a white sweat shirt over my dress or something. Thankfully my mother approved of my choice of dress and when it was fitted to my body I felt absolutely beautiful. I also felt at peace with the appropriateness of my dress
So when I read comments stating how one hopes that wedding dresses like Kate’s will come into style- I agree. However, when I read comments on how tasteless and horrible strapless dresses are I get offended. I’ve read comments like these in blogs for a while now, but now they are popping up everywhere now that there’s commentary on Kate’s wedding dress. We don’t know the reasons for women wearing strapless. Maybe they can’t afford straps or something modest. Maybe they ran out of time to find a modest dress. Maybe they had limited resources to find a non-strapless dress. Maybe they are just honestly ignorant in their view of modesty and appropriateness in church. But when I read comments echoing the though “Down with the strapless dresses” I feel like one is saying to me- Your dress was ugly. It was inappropriate. Shame on you.
Instead of addressing strapless dresses in a way of making women feel inadequate, how about we show women that they can be beautiful brides without wearing strapless. Let’s accentuate how modesty is a beautiful aspect of womanhood and how we should embrace it.
Or maybe I’m upset about this because I’m hormonal and sleep-deprived. I don’t know, but this is just my two cents.
14 comments:
I LOVE this post. Kudos to you for taking on this topic. People have been saying a lot of ridiculous things about strapless dresses, and I appreciate your calm and reasonable response.
I think that you look lovely and appropriate in your dress. If I were doing it over again I would either wear a dress that I already own for work with sleeves (black!) or else buy a strapless dress that I didn't want to spend the money on when I was getting married (all of $500). As it was, I wore a sleeveless dress that I didn't really like, but the fact that my shoulders weren't covered didn't matter at all. And the priest was *thrilled* with us. So there. ;-)
Great post! My dress wasn't strapless, but mainly cause I don't have much to hold it up. But my straps didn't really make it any more modest. I think sometimes we forget we aren't bound by modesty requirements like the LDS church. Showing your shoulders doesn't turn you into a slut!
I enjoyed this post... I too wore a strapless dress. It actually came down to wearing a dress with lace sleeves and the one I bought. Its not like the one with a lacy cap sleeve actually covered more... just like I don't think Kate's covered more. Hello? You could see straight through the lace. I think she was beautiful and her dress was beautiful... but I just don't think lace sleeves aren't necessarily covering a whole lot.
I think you're brave to stand up for your strapless dress! I wanted to point out that after looking at your wedding pics, you have a right to do so! You can tell you put time and thought into the cut and fit for your shape and size, but sadly a lot of women don't know how to do this and choose a dress based on what they want their bodies to be and not always what they are, and with strapless being the fashion for the last 10 years or more we've all seen too many bad strapless choices (how many of us have had to seen the woman with the large or too small chest constantly hiking up her dress or just falling out of it) or just too much of the same kind of dress and are itching for a change in the popular go-to style because let's admit it, strapless isn't for everyone (though you can count yourself part of the "it's for me" group)
I agree with the comment above the lace doesn't exactly hide anything, and neither does the deep v-front... however it's obvious this woman knows her body and what shows it off nicely and if not modestly than demure-ly.
I must say I am VERY happy that strapless came in style for weddings AFTER my wedding (about the next year I guess). Maybe that's why I was able to afford my dress that was long-sleeved, beaded bodice, A-Line with a long, detailed train (I think I paied $400 and bought it off the major-discount rack...it had to be Divine Intervention that it was my size).
Anyway, I agree some of the comments are out of hand. Every time I see your pictures, I remember how my first reaction was surprise that you wore strapless for your wedding...but followed quickly by how well your dress fit you and didn't look immodest in the least).
I read some people's comments on my FB about Kate's dress where they were so upset with how simple the dress was (!!!) Just can't please everybody. :)
I do think that the cut of the dress has more to do with modesty than straps. I mean, so long as it's covering your bosom it's a lot more modest than some dresses.
I had a strapless dress, but thankfully the dress I fell in love with came with a beautiful bolero jacket to wear. So I wore a jacket for Mass. It's just how I am though, I don't wear strapless or sleeveless to Mass anytime, so I refused to wear it for my wedding.
But I honestly don't look down on those who do. Because, honestly, many straps aren't going to be more modest than strapless. I don't see how adding a cm wide strap, or even a 2" strap makes it more modest. I think the style of the cut and how it fits is really the more important part. And I don't see your dress as immodest, it fits really well.
Great post! I agree with what you're saying. Strapless does not equal slut, as Jackie said above.
You looked beautiful and appropriate on your wedding day!
I can't tell you how much I LOVE this post. I, too, wore strapless, and I tried on a bunch of gowns. The ones with sleeves were less modest than the strapless because the necklines were so low! I have a bit of weight up top, so I had to have something that gave complete coverage, and my strapless gown was perfect! My veil also covered my shoulders. My priest even commented on how nice I looked, and he is very concerned with modesty.
I was surprised, when I wrote my royal wedding post, by how many people talked about the awfulness of strapless gowns in my combox. I don't think that's fair. Why are strapless gowns so awful? The ones I've seen are more modest in the neckline than most gowns with sleeves, and I'm pretty sure that cleavage is more of an erogenous zone than the shoulders. Right? What's so sexy about shoulders? They just keep your arms in place. I don't get it.
I have been a liitle offended by some of the comments too! My dress was strapless, but modest, and I loved it. I can definitely see how more chesty women should avoid them, but I don't have that problem and I think many can get way with it with no problems. And yes, her dress was amazing!!
I have to admit that I'm not in the strapless dress camp - I wore a gown with straps for my wedding and I wore a red satin wrap to cover my arms for my ceremony (my wedding colour). I'm all for brides wearing strapless dresses if it looks good on them, the cut is right, it fits right, etc. I've seen too many brides shove themselves into too tight dresses with severe boobage spilling out everywhere and that's all you can see...ugh....not good. I agree with Maggie that since the strapless trend is so prevalent, that is all the shops seem to carry, it is hard to find a dress with straps or sleeves. But some brides are so insistent on wearing a strapless dress that they sometimes don't realize it's not the best choice for them.
I am all for Kate's dress sparking a new trend for wearing sleeves (Ivanka Trump and Nicole Ritchie both wore gowns with sleeves prior to the Royal Wedding), maybe now this will give brides more of a choice when selecting a wedding gown. Just my two cents.
p.s. You looked beautiful in your wedding gown!
I'm with you! I wore strapless too, but with a bolero coverup on during the ceremony ( I took it off afterward, as it was not actually comfortable at all!). My wedding dress budget was... David's bridal. They had (a) strapless (b) halter dresses (which I think are way less modest as they push those girls way up and out!) and (c) two dresses with sleeves designed for brides over 40.
Strapless it is! But I also got married in January, so not having a little jacket of some kind would have made me so cold in the church!
I don't think strapless dresses are the devil. They're imperfect, mostly because they're not always the most modest choice (though yours was def. more modest than a lot I have seen!), and frankly, they're not all that flattering on a lot of body types.
The whole judgment train is getting old, I'm ready to jump off. ;)
You looked so beautiful in your gown!
I wore a halter-style sleeveless dress. It was $99, so yes, finances played a part in my selection. But you are right, I can't feel bad about my choice (even though I admit that concerns about modesty didn't even enter my mind back then).
But the real reason I wanted to comment (a month late) is you were a BEAUTIFUL BRIDE!!! You looked amazing. You are a beautiful lady all around, but those wedding photos are just stunning.
To be honest your dress is beautiful and it really suits you. Strapless dresses only suit a tiny minority but you're in that minority. Perfect figure for the strapless dress. I'm impressed. Most brides should steer clear though!!
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