Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Wondering Wednedays Vol. 6

Today I am wondering at what point do you stop "turning the other cheek" and take a stand for yourself?

I understand what Jesus meant by turning the other cheek. And I do understand that we should always forgive someone for doing us wrong, no matter what action, word, or deed they have done.

I know Jesus didn't mean to stand by and take abuse constantly. There are such things as just anger and just wars.

If a loved one says mean and hurtful things towards me, I always give them the benefit of the doubt. I think, "They were just kidding around. I'm too sensitive and reading too much into their words. Maybe they are having a bad day."

I usually never say anything because I give them the benefit of the doubt, plus sometimes it's just better to leave it alone. I just ignore it because I don't want to cause any drama.

However, due to pesky Original Sin sometimes when someone says something mean to me (or toward someone I care about for that matter) I want to really tell them what I think. I want to insult, I want to make fun, I want to point out their faults, their hypocrisies and bad habits. I want to yell, curse and belittle.

But I don't. My mother always told me that if I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Then I wonder, if those people keep saying/writing these hurtful comments and are constantly hurting my feelings, shouldn't I politely and in a mature-manner stand up for myself? "Maybe they don't know how much they hurt my feelings." I'll think, so I'll plan to tell them next time (I usually always chicken out or don't articulate myself well) or I'll email them letting them know how I feel.

But telling how I feel can backfire as well. It will start a conflict. I'll lose a friend or a close relationship with a relative. They will think I'm too sensitive. They will think they have a right to say whatever they want.

So this Wednesday I wonder where to draw the line between shutting up and standing up.

3 comments:

Michelle said...

I have wondered the same thing lately. I am usually the person that is very careful with my words and even how I'm going to say something so as not to offend anyone.

But on the other hand...I'm also the person that tends to take everything someone says to heart or completely the wrong way.

Rae said...

That is such a tough question. I tend to think that "turning the other cheek" involves a situation where kind confrontation is not an option... but then again there is the view that Jesus was really advocating responding like an equal
http://www.cres.org/star/_wink.htm

In any case, these things are difficult and I don't think there is an easy and obvious correct response.

Lacey R said...

Great post...I am the type who can be outspoken and tell it like it is when I feel it is necessary to speak up when the situation warrants it, but sometimes I feel compelled to just shut up, and sometimes I can't be bothered with the confrontation if I know it is going to turn out badly. It depends on the situation and how much it affects me in the end. I do believe it is good to stand up for yourself in a good way, though. Some people do need to be put in their place, but it has to be done in the right way.

Hmmn....I can sense my answer turning into a blog post! :)

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