I have a million and one things I want to write about. I am writing a post criticizing/defending the Twilight series. I have a post floating around in my head about large families and spacing children. All these things I want to write about.
This post, I wish I didn't have to write.
This evening we put the family dog to sleep.
His name was Hudson. Ryan brought him home back in 1999. "He's not that big, mom," he said. He wasn't quite truthful. The family that owned him were moving. He didn't have the greatest upbringing. I was told he ate out of trashcans for his meals. They weren't even sure how old he was- maybe 2 years old they thought.
It's a good thing he found the Crawford household.
Hudson was Ryan's dog. But when he left for college, Ryan's dad took over. But he really was everybody's dog. We all loved him. He touched every one of our hearts. Give him a tennis ball, a belly scratch and a doggie cookie and he was your new best friend.
I remember seeing pictures of him on Ryan's facebook. I was nervous when we went to meet his family because I was scared that Hudson would jump up on me or hump my leg creating all sorts of awkward situations. But when we walked in, Hudson greeted us with a giant wagging tail and excitement. I immediately fell in love with him.
Before we were married and would visit Ryan's parents, we would stay in separate rooms. I would always let Hudson on the bed to sleep with me. He snored, but that was fine with me.
Over the years two new dogs came into the picture. Our beagle, Chandler, and Ryan's parent's new dog June Bug. When they got June Bug it seemed like Hudson was on his last leg. He had fallen and was injured. When Ryan's mom called him with the news that he might have to be put down Ryan cried. That was the first time I had seem him cry.
June Bug seemed to zap some life into Hudson. These past 2 years we saw the slow decline, but Hudson was happy and occupied by June Bug and Chan.
Just this week the back gate got unlatched and Hudson escaped. For about 10 minutes we waited and worried. Soon a neighbor about a half a block up came walking with him. I swear Hudson looked like a puppy. He was so energetic and happy! He had just had quite the adventure!
These past two days came Hudson's downfall. For the past few weeks we've noticed his legs giving out. Last night, after a trip to the vet, who happens to be a close family friend, the decision was made that today would be Hudson's last day on earth.
We all spoiled him and gave him extra attention. We were all bracing for 5:00 when we were to take him to the vet.
I didn't really expect to be in the same room as Hudson. I just figured I would wait in the waiting room. But it all happened so fast and I wanted to be there for my husband.
Hudson was happy at Dr. M's office. He was walking around slowly and sniffing. He was happy in the room with us and didn't flinch at the sedation shot. In about 10 minutes he was snoozing soundly. Deep sleep. He was dreaming. We were petting him, talking to him, kissing him. He was happy.
Then came the final shot. Ryan asked how long it would be. She said he would probably be gone before the injection was finished. As soon as she was done I noticed his side wasn't moving in his rhythmic beating breaths. One minute he was there. Now he was gone. I kissed him, said I loved him, and left Ryan to be alone with him.
We are all heartbroken over the loss of Hudson. However, I think there is a feeling of bittersweet relief. His pain is gone. He is happy. A lot happier than we are right now. He had a happy death.
I used to get semi-annoyed at "my doggie died" posts. Now I see the need to post. It helps us to heal. It helps us to honor our pet. I know there are debates on whether dogs go to heaven. I can't phrase it as well as Anthony DeStefano in his book A Travel Guide to Heaven, but I believe that we will see our pets again someday. God creates good. He created pets for us as good things. So why would they be taken away forever? In the new world God creates for us after the end of times, there will be beauty. There will be animals. Surely our pets will be there, too.
Hudson's death has hit Ryan especially hard. I hate seeing my beloved in such pain. That might be the hardest part for me. Yes, I will miss Hudson, but I know he's in a better place. I just wish I could take the pain away from my husband. I don't like to see him so upset. I want to make it better, but I know time, love and comfort from family and friends will heal his wounds.
This experience has made me resolve to spend more time with Chandler. He always so active running around with the other dogs that I haven't really had a chance to spend some cuddle time with him. I'm sure that he and June Bug will be out of sorts when they realize that Hudson is gone and won't be back.
I would rather write a post bringing on an onslaught of judgment and criticism for my enjoyment of the Twilight series or wanting a big family than this one.
Hug your pets tonight.
St. Francis of Assisi, pray for us.
Rest in peace, dear Hudson. We love you.
