Sometimes the weirdest thoughts pop into my head. They aren't theologically significant, just kind of silly (OK... very silly.) There are other times that my husband likes to ruffle my theological-undergraduate-degree feathers and pick silly arguments which makes me wonder even more about the weird theological thoughts. (This first paragraph makes me sound crazy... I know. Just bear with me.)
For example, my husband likes to walk out onto our spider-infested deck without any shoes.
"Just put your flip flops on... I don't want you to get bitten by a brown-recluse and complain for 3 weeks."
"I don't need shoes! Jesus didn't wear shoes, why should I?"
Then I get into a dither (what's a dither anyway?) "What are you talking about?! Jesus wore shoes- sandals actually. It's right there in the Bible! John the Baptist says, 'After me comes he who is mightier than I, the thong of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie.' (Mark 1:7) Besides, Jesus did A LOT of walking. You really think he would walk all over Palestine bare-foot?" Wife: 1 Husband: 0
"But Jesus is GOD. He walked on water, rose from the dead... you really think a few rocks in his feet would bother Him?" D'OH! Husband, you have a good point...
"BUT He is still a human being!" Victory shall be mine!
"OK, OK. Well, if He were preaching today, he wouldn't walk. He'd drive barefoot in a 1967 Volkswagon bus." Wait.... what?!
"JESUS WASN'T A HIPPIE! Sure, he was counter-cultural and went against government authority. But He wasn't some Rolling Stones groupie, pot-smoking, guitar pickin' flower child!"
I see my husband on the verge of laughter, with that pain-in-the-who-know-what glee in his eye. He's just trying to egg me on. He's good at that.
Then we started a discussion of what Jesus would wear if He were alive on earth today. No, I don't think he would wear a tuxedo t-shirt... although Ryan thinks that would be hilarious. I think Jesus would have much more class than that. I think he wouldn't wear anything too fancy. He helps the poor, so no suits or ties. I don't really picture him in a polo and khakis either. Maybe some nice jeans and a plain white t-shirt. With some sort of shoes.
But He is Jesus... maybe He would wear something a little more sophisticated. I don't know.. I still picture him with his long hair and beard though. "Yeah, his hippie beard!" my husband says mischievously. I ignore him.
Afterwards we started having a silly discussion of wondering what Jesus' occupation (pre-public ministry, of course) would be if He were alive today. Ryan suggests radio D.J. I can't imagine Jesus in the studio saying in that fake Ryan Seacrest-like voice, "Alright, alright, helllllloooo mankind! We got Jesus C. in the house ready to send you on your morning commute by rockin' you down the interstate!"
No, no... that's not right at all.
I can see him as doctor. He did heal people after all. He'd be the coolest doctor. He'd put his patients at ease. I can also see him as a college professor. He was a dynamic public speaker and taught to thousands. I wonder how tough a grader He would be. No one would fall asleep during his lectures. (I never once did that in college..) Maybe he'd be a police officer and rid the streets of evil-doers... just like he cast out demons. Perhaps he'd own his own winery.... he does make some tasty wine according to the Bible.
I do NOT see Jesus as a professional soccer player. You know those pictures of Jesus playing soccer with a bunch of kids? They just weird me out.
But what I can picture Jesus REALLY doing... is doing what he did thousands of years ago before his public ministry- carpentry. Working with your hands, building something out of nothing- what a noble profession.
No matter how He dresses or what His occupation would be, He'd still be loving and almighty. The more I think about it.. the more I fall in love with Christ. He's pretty awesome.
My brother just texted me with a question: "Do you think Jesus had allergies?"
Hmmm.... another thing to wonder about!
8 comments:
Hmm. I'm not sure that He would still have the long hair and beard. I think whatever He was doing it would be unexpected. Even if it was carpentry. Because, after all, He's God. I think that whatever He did it would be much less impressive at first than what we expected. But then, I think if we spent time with Him, He would become more and more impressive on deeper levels and in deeper ways than we expected.
I'm not sure He would still have the beard, btw. :) Just my opinion.
Perhaps you are right... but I just find it very hard to picture Jesus without his long hair and beard. It's kind of like your uncle who has had facial hair since you were a baby and 25 years later he suddenly shaves it all off. :-)
I find it funny how much people interpret by dress. We get that all the time, if a congregant sees my husband at the store in slacks and a polo, they call him "Pastor". If they happen to meet him when he is in skinny jeans and a military jacket they call him by his first name.
I wouldn't be surprised if Jesus didn't fit our idea of "proper". During his ministry he was a homeless-jobless-spouseless-girlfriendless-childless guy. In today's eyes that would make him a loser.
haha...good point YM!
I would imagine if Jesus were alive today, no one would really believe he was God...just like back then, and He would be punished in today's form of crucifixion (whatever that is). That's something I've often thought anyway.
Good q's Maggie. I too, do not think Jesus would be a professional soccer player.
I liked Michelle's comment, and have to add that today's form of crucifixion is lethal injection, so its entirely possible that if Jesus came back in 2010, he could end up on a death row somewhere, with no one believing he is God. Sad.
Oh dear. I found this post hilarious, and now reading the previous serious comments I wonder if I should feel guilty. But I don't. I think that it is your fault for writing in such an amusing way "Jesus C. in the house..."?!
Hahaha... Rae, I did mean for this to be funny and silly. Religion doesn't have to be all seriousness, all the time. But all the commenters here have made excellent points. I like to hear all types of views!
I enjoyed reading your post and your questions today, I found them funny yet thought provoking. Thank you ........:-) Hugs
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