Yesterday I wrote, somewhat in a panic, of my concerns and frustrations of my toddler son gone wild. His sleeping/screaming in his crib has gotten better, which means I am getting more sleep, which means I am less "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wrote on a Facebook group that I am a part of about my woes of Joe turning into a toddler crack head. A friend of mine joked that I was knocking time off purgatory. Another girl joked that getting out of purgatory early would be worth it. That got me thinking: I don't ever ask myself "Is motherhood worth it?"
I don't ever think that because I always know that yes, motherhood is worth all the tears, frustrations and bodily fluids that somehow always end up on me. There is no doubt.
Joe destroys. He kicks and bites. He climbs on everything (see above.) He screams at decibels that I think only dogs can hear. And he looooooooooves to pull hair, as you can see in the photo below.
This photo cracks me up every. time. I love the look on Joe's face!
Sometimes it seems that the naughty moments Joe has outweighs the fun, happy and hilarious moments.
But I know that isn't true. Dealing with Joe's temper and stubbornness takes a lot more effort out of me than when he's his happy-go-lucky self.
Last night as I was nursing Joe, I was about to drift off to sleep when Joe stopped nursing. I looked down to see if he had fallen asleep, but in the dim light I could see he was looking up at me. He gently put his hand on my cheek and moved my face closer to his. He leaned in. He always leans towards me when he wants me to give him a kiss. I gently kissed his nose and he smiled and turned away to go back to sleep. That is what makes all the chaos worth it. Love.
Loving isn't easy. Nothing great and wonderful in this life is easy. Marriage isn't easy. Family life isn't easy. Pregnancy and childbirth aren't easy. Being a child of God definitely isn't easy. But the amazing things in life are worth working for. The things in life that are easy? Well, they just aren't as fun. They just aren't as great.
Even though Joe knows exactly how to push my buttons, I am grateful that he is becoming his own little person. I am thankful he still randomly comes up to me to hug me and give me a kiss, because someday he will shudder in horror at the thought of hugging and kissing his mother. He is changing so much and so quickly.
Motherhood is hard. I will never have it all figured out. But I love my vocation (maybe not every single screaming second of it) but it is all worth it.
3 comments:
Amen!
It is so amazing to watch as they learn and discover, becoming independent people ~with ideas of their own.
Great post! Am so glad I'm on this mothering journey with friends like you.
This is beautiful.
Love this. And also wanted to just say - I so empathize. I had a biting, scratching, kicking, hitting sort of pre-two year old. She wasn't very verbal at that age (she was a late talker) and it seemed the only way she could express her frustrations was physically. She threw things, would bite herself if she couldn't bite us.. etc. I just wanted to encourage you that this stage *does* pass and it doesn't mean anything about the child they will turn into. At 2 1/2 she is super loving, much more verbal, and much less prone to throwing a tantrum. While she does still occasionally bite or hit, it is MUCH easier to talk her down before that point than it was six months or a year ago. Of course, there are new challenges now - she is still very persistent in everything, both for the good and the bad - but I definitely think around 20 months to 26 months or so were by far the worst of it, and if it says anything at all, I really LOVE the age she is at now. If he isn't very verbal yet, working with him on expressing his emotions, and also on modeling the "right" way to channel those frustrated/angry emotions may help. What worked with my daughter was to teach her to say "hands are for hugging, not hitting" (mouths are for kissing, not biting) etc and restrain her very gently so she didn't get the chance to hit or bite more than once. Also to ask her "you seem angry, do you need a hug?" or offer a positive outlet for the angry emotion.
Anyway - believe me, there IS light at the end of the tunnel! I thought my daughter was going to be some sort of pre-school hellion too, but it seems she really is growing out of it.
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